Forgotten Songs From An Imaginary Life, Chapter 14.5

Music spheres 1

Debra’s songs coming to life now. Time for tea?

(Jon & Vangelis \\ State of Independence)

Part IV: The Music of the Spheres

Chapter 14.5

Basin F, Marina del Rey, Los Angeles, California                           15 November 2008

aboard SV AquaTarkus

Debra Sorensen sat in the cockpit of her boat rubbing Daisy-Jane’s tummy, both enjoying this crisp Saturday morning’s airy sunshine. She had squeezed a half dozen oranges into a glass and had just returned from taking Daisy-Jane out for her morning walk, and it felt good just to sit back and relax in the warmth. The past month had been hellish for everyone in the country – but in a heartbeat the national mood had changed, a seismic shift, really, when the presumptive next president, John McCain, had lost to the junior senator from Illinois, a willowy-wisp of a kid named Obama. Now it seemed like half the people in the country were up in arms and the other filled with hope, yet despite all that everything was kind of crazy because the economy had been in a free fall for almost two months and the national mood was tense, almost dour. GM was done for, and the old saying was As Goes GM So Goes The Country. And after Lehman, ‘scared’ didn’t even begin to describe things on Wall Street.

Debra was now working for an upstart new television network – The Eagle Network – as a producer, and she was in charge of two teams of reporters and cameramen, working up stories and bringing everything together in time for the network’s primetime evening news broadcast. But not today, and Deb leaned back and closed her eyes, let the warming sun work its magic on her face, then she took a deep breath of the sea air and tried to relax. Again.

She’d spent the last week in the run-up to the election following the McCain campaign, and she’d been hopeful he’d win. She had always thought McCain a decent, honorable man, and a man that history had turned to in this moment. He was the perfect choice to lead the nation during such a perilous period, but then he’d picked a barely literate unknown to be his Veep and in one fell swoop his entire campaign had been called into question, and what should have been a close election had turned into a rout.

Yet for the past week she’d been traveling around the country measuring the reaction to Obamas election, and what she’d observed, and listened to, had badly shaken her faith in some very basic assumptions. Half the country really didn’t seem to care that Obama identified as an African American, while the other half couldn’t see past the idea that the country was going to have “one of those people” in the White House, and Deb couldn’t help but feel that a rough beast had been roused from a long sleep.

Daisy Jane rolled over and looked to the finger pier, and Deb turned and was a little startled to see a man standing there, and he was looking up at her.

“Can I help you?”

“Oh, no. Sorry to bother you, but this looks like such an impossibly nice way to spend such a glorious morning, and well, I was a little envious.”

He was an older man and he looked out of place, almost like he was from another time. He was wearing a loden cape and had the oddest looking cane in his right hand…deeply varnished wood with silver filigree that seemed to look like bolts of lightning…and there was something about his eyes, too. Not exactly kind…but knowing eyes…like nothing could happen that might surprise him.

“I have some fresh orange juice. Would you care for some?”

“You wouldn’t mind?”

“No, of course not. Please. Just use the steps right there,” she said, pointing to the entry gate in the lifelines.

He stepped aboard carefully, yet he moved with a carefree agility that belied his age, and he made it back to the cockpit with almost practiced ease.

“What a beautiful vessel. Is she Swedish?”

“Yes. How’d you know?”

“Vindo is a Swedish town, is it not.”

“Ah, yes. So you’ve traveled a lot, I take it?”

“Me? Oh yes, but my family came from Denmark.”

“What? Mine did too! It’s a small world…”

“…After all! Yes, yes it is. Copenhagen, perhaps?”

“Yes! Yours as well?”

The Old Man nodded. “We came over right after the war. Yours?”

“The same!”

“You mentioned orange juice? My sugars feel low, so perhaps, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble?”

“Oh! I’m sorry. Let me go below and get a glass.”

Daisy-Jane came over to the old man and sniffed his hand, then she hopped up on the cockpit seat beside him and she stared into his eyes. She began to look him over, and almost inch by inch, not sure what he was but she knew something was wrong.

“Your pup seems most interested in something about me,” the Old Man said as Deb came back with a fresh glass and a banana.

“She’s very curious about people, especially people she’s never met,” Deb started to say…

…but just then Daisy backed away from the Old Man, and the hair on the back of her neck began to stand on end…

And then Deb began to study the Old Man’s aura…pale blue…yet with dark gray flecks…and she’d rarely seen that before. Because such people were usually hiding deep secrets, and now she looked into the Old Man’s eyes again. Knowing, yes, but hard. Cold and hard.

“So,” she sighed, “this meeting is not an accident, is it?”

“I’m afraid not.” The Old Man sipped the juice and smiled. “Fresh squeezed? I’d forgotten such things exist. And the taste! Such a miracle, so many miracles gone now. So many things we took for granted.”

“You’re losing me.”

“Unimportant, I’m afraid. Something quite extraordinary is about to happen. A ghastly tragedy and then a miracle. You must be ready.” 

“Ready? Ready for what?”

“Thank you for the juice. Remarkable.”

“Look, I…”

“Do you remember Gene Sherman? The astronomer at MIT? You met him the day before, well, the day before your last trip to London.”

“How do you…”

But he held up his hand, stopped her question with an unspoken admonishment. “I understand he’s coming to Loyola Marymount soon, so perhaps this would be a good time to think about a return to school.”

“Are you telling me I need to be ready to go back to school?”

“You have a remarkable dog, Miss Sorensen. Do take care of her.”

“What? What are you…what do you…”

But the old man tapped the tip of his cane on the teak deck and without further sound he simply disappeared – and Debra jumped back from the spot where he’d just been, not able to believe her eyes – even as Daisy ran below, her tail suddenly tucked firmly between her legs…

And just then her cell phone chirped, literally making her jump as the sudden sound further jolted her senses.

It was Delbert Moloch, the CEO of Eagle Networks. 

“Ah, Miss Sorensen. If you’re not too busy, I have a number I need you to jot down.”

“Okay, let me get a notepad,” she sighed, running down to the chart table and picking up a pen along the way. “Alright, fire away.”

“I’ve heard rumblings about an orthopedic surgery group out in Thousand Oaks. The stories I’m hearing seem to indicate that a lot of illegally prescribed painkillers are making their way into the hands of several prominent players in the NFL. Think you could have one of your reporters look into it?”

She copied down the relevant information, including what little information Moloch was willing to divulge about his sources, then he rang off – and Daisy Jane was waiting to hop up on her lap the moment she put her little phone down on the chart table.

“Well lookie-here. Who’s upset this morning?”

“Woof!” came the pup’s deep reply.

“He was a strange man, wasn’t he?”

Daisy licked near the bottom of Deb’s neck, a sure sign that something wasn’t right, then she bounded back up to the cockpit, the hair on the back of her neck standing on end again – and Deb ran up to see what the trouble was…but…she saw not a thing out of the ordinary, not even the faintest whisper of danger.

But Daisy was sniffing the air, her face turning into the wind before she dashed to the rail and looked down into the water – and when Deb looked she saw the barest outline of something shimmering in the water…something that almost looked like a shimmering blue sphere – but in the next instant the sphere simply disappeared…just like the Old Man had…

…and Daisy had had enough; she fled down the companionway steps once again.

And Deb was rattled now. First the Old Man, then the sphere? Two extraordinary events, and both coming within the span of only a few minutes?

But there was something about the sphere that troubled her deeply. A memory, but where from? Was it…from Bora-Bora? The trouble with that was simple, though. Within hours of Henry bringing her up from the bottom she’d begun losing her memory of the event, from the staggering loss of almost an entire year, to the echoes of an unremembered childbirth she’d experienced for just a few hours, and by the time they’d sailed back to Papeete almost the entire episode had been wiped from her mind – and now, when she experienced memories of this period they came on as unexplained streaks of fast-passing memory, their passage causing serious confusion and even physical disorientation.

So when the image of Bora-Bora popped up in her mind she felt light headed, almost vertiginous. She felt her own boat underfoot but she was also experiencing visual and auditory overlays of that other boat – the Clorox bottle, as Henry called it – at the same time, and when Daisy came up on deck and saw Deb reeling she came close and helped her settle down by the wheel.

And a moment later she felt Henry Taggart by her side…

…but that was impossible!

They hadn’t seen one another in years, literally years, though she still called him from time to time…so this had to be a part of the echo she was experiencing…

But he was sitting beside her now, holding her up, whispering in her ear…

“It’s alright…I’m here, I’m here…”

“Oh, if only you were…”

But then she looked over and Daisy was slathering him with kisses, and he was holding the pup in one arm and her in the other…

“Henry? What are you doing here?”

“I’m not sure, Deb. I had a bad feeling last night, like something bad is coming for you…”

She flung her arms around him and kissed the side of his face as she started murmuring all her unintelligible sorrows: “Oh God I’ve missed you oh how I’ve missed you oh please don’t leave me again…” and her words came as tangled gasps and sodden pleas.

They’d gone in for cinnamon rolls and salmon again and her father’s assassination was all over CNN that morning. A disgruntled producer pushed off a project and in the aftermath the man had found himself blacklisted; soon unable to find work anywhere the man had simply come unhinged. Mindful of Sorensen’s security detail, he’d cautiously started tailing both Ted and Debra Sorensen, at least until Deb moved away, and when he’d watched and learned Ted’s weekend habits all he’d done was bide his time and lay in wait.

Dina Marlowe had been killed outright, and Ted would have been killed had not a kid with a surfboard seen what was going down and intervened. Nearby paramedics arrived and got Ted to UCLA just in time, and Taggart got Deb on a seaplane to Vancouver that morning. He sailed the boat back to Seattle with Daisy Jane, and by the time he docked her the boat was a total wreck, beyond filthy. The brokerage firm had been understandably pissed off – until Henry told them that either he or Deb would buy the boat “as is” – and in the end Deb had decided she wanted her. 

So the three of them eventually sailed the Vindo down to Marina del Rey, stopping in Santa Cruz and Santa Barbara on their way down the coast, and Deb had made it clear she wanted him to stay. To get married.

But her father needed her now, and that much was clear to them both, so he’d returned to Seattle, and not long after his life had changed completely. He stopped calling her. He even stopped calling his own father. He was never around anymore, and after a while she stopped expecting him to turn up again. Her father’s health improved. He asked her to go to work at the new network and for some reason the work helped make all the pain go away. And now it seemed that Henry only came to her in her dreams.

But now…here he was.

And while Daisy was still in total thrall to her bestest ever friend, her tail beating away in furious joy, he turned his attention to Deb now. “What’s going on?” he whispered. “Something doesn’t feel right.”

And so she told him. About the Old Man. About his warning. Then – about how he literally just vanished before their eyes…

“What do you ‘vanished?’”

“He tapped his cane on the deck, and Henry, he just disappeared.”

“What happened next?”

“I took a call from work then Daisy ran up here and she saw this thing in the water…”

“A thing?”

“It looked like a big blue sphere, maybe two or three feet beneath the surface…”

“How big was it?”

“What? Like the diameter?”

“Yeah. Diameter, circumference, any kind of reference…”

“I’d guess fifteen, twenty feet across…”

That didn’t sound right, and Taggart sighed. “What’s the bottom depth here?”

“Depends on the tide, but anywhere from seven to ten feet at this end of the basin, and like twelve to fifteen in the middle of the fairway. But…oh, wait…that can’t be right…?”

Henry disentangled himself from the girls and walked over to the rail. “Where was it?” he asked.

She came and joined him, then led him forward. “Right there,” she said, and they both leaned over and looked down into the water. The water was murky but just clear enough to see the bottom, and sure enough the soft muddy bottom appeared to have been scooped out by a perfect sphere – and Henry just sighed as he tried to estimate the sphere’s maximum diameter. Fifteen feet was entirely possible, and that was indeed troubling – because he’d been seeing spheres at least that big all around the air base in central Washington for at least six months now.

“So what the hell are they doing around here? And why now?” he muttered.

“What are you talking about, Henry?”

Taggart took a deep breath and looked around, then he slowly exhaled. “You ever go up there, to the Warehouse?”

“The restaurant? Yeah, sure, all the time. Usually when the team wants to meet up for lunch, on weekdays. It’s close, and some days I like to work from the boat.”

“They open now?”

She looked at her watch and shook her head. “Saturday brunch starts in a half hour. You hungry?”

“Yeah. And I feel a little…exposed…down here.”

“Exposed?”

“Yeah, like I’m not sure I want to be out in the open like this, ya know?”

“Henry? What’s going on?”

But he just shook his head. “It’s good to see you, kiddo. You’re looking good. Start running again?”

She nodded, but his shifting moods, the way he was changing subjects was more than a little disconcerting to her. “Yeah, I’m back up to five or six miles a day.”

“I bet Daisy loves that!”

“Sometimes I think her hips are bugging her.”

“Oh? Taken her to see a vet?”

“No, not yet.”

“Not sure I’d put that off, Deb.”

“Henry?”

“I still have some clothes here?”

“Yup, still in the port bedroom.”

He nodded and then, without saying another word, he went down the companionway steps and up to the forward head. He got out of his clothes and jumped into the shower, rinsing the morning’s travels away before he went to the guest stateroom and rummaged through a drawer for clothes that looked exactly the opposite of what he’d been wearing…

And he came out of the head wearing Hawaiian print swim trunks, a grungy old Led Zeppelin t-shirt and bamboo flip-flops. When he put on his Wayfarers and the transformation was complete. He was…The Dude.

“Jesus, Henry…!” Deb said, stunned.

“I’m going for a little walk. I’ll meet you up there after they open,” he said as he disappeared up the companionway, and by the time she came up he was halfway down the pier, looking at boats and acting just like any other boat-bum. She sat and tried not to look after him as he walked out into the parking lot, and moments later he was gone.

“Damn,” she sighed. “This is too fucking weird.”

The longer he’d stayed onboard the greener his aura had grown, then he had shifted into the violet and she could see his anxiety level spike as he came out of the shower, his aura magenta with green and yellow sparklers flailing about everywhere he walked. Even Daisy had seen it, because she’d stepped back from him as he came out of the head and made for the companionway. She grabbed her leash now and took Daisy topside for a quick walk along the parkway, then they made their way to the restaurant and got there when the front door opened.

“Well hello there, Miss Daisy,” the hostess said as she took them to a dark corner booth. Deb and Daisy were regulars and despite the no dogs restrictions Deb had come to “an arrangement” with the owner, but that only worked because Daisy had turned-out to be so well-behaved. “Is it just the two of you today?”

“No, I have a friend coming.”

“Oh? Okay. Well, could I get drinks coming your way?”

“He’ll need a Mai Tai. I’ll have my usual.”

Henry turned up a few minutes after his Mai Tai arrived, and he slammed it down in one long pull. He pointed at the empty glass as their waitress approached and she went off to fetch another.

“Thirsty, are we?”

“Yeah, but I’d better pace myself. Burt always poured a mean Mai Tai.”

“That’s right. The original was down in Newport Beach, wasn’t it?”

“You know, I’m not sure which one opened first, but the one off Lido was like the closest place to the house. Dad and I used to run down in the Zodiac after a race. It was The Place for a while. John Wayne used to hang at the bar, so did Robert Goulet. Hell, Nixon and Haldeman had a regular place at the bar…”

“Yikes…”

“Yeah, but that’s all gone now; the doors closed a few years ago. At least The Crab Cooker is still there.”

“The one constant in an ever changing universe. Shrimp on a skewer.”

“I know, I know, but even so – change sucks. That’s the one thing I hate about this country…we tear down our traditions before they get a chance to take root and grow.”

“Are you sure you’re talking about our country…or are you talking about your life?”

He chuckled. “Probably both, kiddo.”

“So, what spooked you back there? The sphere?”

He nodded as his second Mai Tai arrived. “That’s right,” he said as he took a slow pull. “I’m working on something, kind of an ‘off the books’ project, and these spheres started showing up a few months ago.”

“What? Are you sure they’re the same?”

“Shimmering blue sphere, right?”

“Yeah, but for some reason Bora-Bora came to mind…”

“Goddamn!” he said, rapping the table with his knuckles. “Of course!”

“What? What is it?”

“That’s the first time I saw one of ‘em. Down there, when I…”

“Down where?” she asked.

“What do you mean by where?”

“Henry, I’m not sure I remember any of that stuff now…”

“What? You mentioned…you mentioned…”

But the memory he’d seen so clearly just a moment ago began to fade away.

“Henry? What is it?”

“Hmm? Oh, I don’t know, just a thought.”

“Bora-Bora? The sphere?”

He shook his head, clearly frustrated now. “Man, it’s like there’s this memory right there, like I can almost reach out and touch it, but then it just slips away…”

“I know what you mean…”

“So,” their waitress asked, stopping by to take their order, “do you need more time or have you decided?”

“Eggs Benedict for me, with the fruit salad, please,” Deb said.

“Make that two if you can, and maybe we better get another Mai Tai ready. I think I see a hole in my glass…”

The waitress smiled as she turned back to Debra. “And what will Miss Daisy be having today?”

“The usual, I guess. Hamburger patty medium rare. And no salt and pepper, please,” Deb added.

Neither saw the microscopically-small pink spheres settling in their drinks, so neither had the slightest idea what was degrading their memory. And yet…while Daisy saw these things she didn’t know what to make of them…at least not yet.

+++++

Taggart spent two day in LA, first rigging up a security system on aquaTarkus then taking Deb to a shooting range, familiarizing her with the small Kimber he’d picked out for her. Next, he insisted she pick up one of the new 3G iPhones so she could more easily keep in touch with him, and he helped her set up an Apple email account before she drove him over to LAX.

“Thanks for all you’ve done,” she said as he stepped out of her gray Defender. He walked around to her window and leaned in to give her a kiss, but Daisy Jane got to him first and gave him a heavy tongue bath.

“It’s okay, Daisy Jane. Anytime you need me you just get your mama to call and I’ll be right down, okay…?”

But Daisy wasn’t just reading his aura now, she was watching his future unfold – and what she saw scared her. She whimpered once then she licked him again, because she loved him, and she hated time when he was gone because it passed so slowly.

Irving, Texas                                            23 November 2008

She hadn’t flown with her father in years, and had no idea he’d disposed of the Gulfstream. Now he had a BBJ, a Boeing Business Jet – which was nothing more than a Boeing 737-800 converted to carry around twenty people in sybaritic comfort instead of the usual hundred and sixty people packed in like oily sardines. And he’d even picked her up on the way out to LAX, though he seemed to be more interested in his conversation with Delbert Moloch than anything she had to say.

Carol was still working for her father but now there was a proper galley and an in-flight chef to handle the cooking chores, and as she boarded Carol escorted her to a seat looking out over the right wing.

“Is Gordon still flying?” Deb asked.

“Oh, yes. He and Paul are still both up front.”

Deb smiled. “That’s great. How’ve you been doing?”

“Just perfect. And I hear you’re doing big things at the network? You enjoy working there?”

Deb smiled, but she still really didn’t know how to answer that question. “I do,” she said, but she knew Carol had seen through the lie when her aura thickened and sputtered. “But I guess like anything, it has its ups and downs.”

Carol smiled and her aura subsided – a little. “Would you like something to drink before we head to the runway?”

“Oh, I don’t think so. What’s with the huge galley?”

“Your father has a proper chef working here now, so no more airline food. He’s making a Lobster Newberg to go with your father’s She Crab Soup.”

“Dear God…our arteries won’t survive the trip.”

“Oh, he’s made a fresh Caesar Salad too. We’ll survive!”

Moloch stepped aboard and Debra looked at the ogre and his malevolent aura, as always his sputtering black aura spitting gouts of putrid hate as he slithered to his seat. She still couldn’t believe her father had gone into business with this odious cretin, yet the network was a popular and financial heavy hitter, and she’d not been too surprised to learn that when her father traveled these days Delbert Moloch was never far away. 

She watched her father now as he stepped aboard, and she shuddered as he looked her way. His aura was deep black tinged with oozing purple sores, and to make matters worse he was bathed in black…black suit, black shirt and tie, heavy black wingtips…so it was hard to tell where the man ended and the aura began. But as he came her way she saw his eyes were now a pure if filmy obsidian veil, even the whites of his eyes – and she’d never experienced anything like this before. Was this a change within her, or did this new manifestation mean something new and unexpected had happened to him?

He barely acknowledged her before he sat across from Moloch, and Carol brought their flutes of perfectly chilled Dom Pérignon, and Deb watched as Carol’s aura morphed as she approached the two men. Near the galley it had looked deep cobalt, almost like she was forcing some sort of meditative calm as she carried the flutes aft, but the closer she came to her father the more violet her appearance became. First her usual cobalt shifted into the red, then a lime green tinged with sputtering violet appeared – the fringes finally settling into a frantic looking silvery thing that looked like frozen-oozing mercury. Deb could see the woman was literally terrified of her father…but why? He’d always been so generous to her. He’d cared for her and her little daughter when she fell ill after a long trip abroad with him, so…what was this all about?

The Boeing taxied out to the active and took off to the west, turning south then east once they passed Palos Verdes, and she could see Catalina as the jet settled on her new course, so of course her thoughts drifted to Henry Taggart…again. She’d called him three days ago, after her father asked her to come with him to Dallas. Could he, she asked, come down and boat sit while she was away? 

“Did Daisy put you up to this?” he’d replied.

“Of course. Why else would I call you?” she’d quipped, zinging him where it counted most.

“Well then, I’d be delighted to do this for my best friend,” Henry had fired back.

So she’d left him with Daisy at The Warehouse and walked out to her father’s limo and now here she was, wishing she was anywhere but here. Wishing she was on the far side of the universe so her father couldn’t find her. Wishing she was with Henry, because that was the only place she really wanted to be. With Henry and her silly dog – who also happened to love him.

What was it about Henry, she wondered. His down to earth frumpiness, his every word and deed grounded in easy going honesty? He never dated, never went out with other women and never talked about the future. He was like a man who had somehow missed out on getting caught up in the usual stream of life, and now he was just drifting along by himself…

Yet she knew he loved her, and it wasn’t just because she could see all the obvious markers. No, she could close her eyes and feel his love, feel his love like it was a living thing, like a vine that sought her out for nourishment.

‘So…why have we come to nothing?’ she wondered. ‘Why won’t he commit to me? To us?’

He’d mentioned how ill at ease her perceptions left him, but that wasn’t it. He’d never made a move for her after William was gone from the picture, well before ‘the change’ happened to her. Was he just a bachelor through and through? He was certainly committed to her – but only as a friend…

“Time for lunch!” Carol said as she set out a small linen table cloth on her adjoining table, then Carol set out a full set of sterling flatware. “And to drink? Pellegrino?”

She thought for a moment, thought about what Henry usually drank…

“Do you have a Piesporter?” 

“We do. I believe it’s the Havemeier, and it’s a Spätlese, I think.”

“Perfect. Do you want to skip the soup?”

“Please. Salad for now.”

Carol smiled and turned away, her aura a soothing cool blue once again, but was that because her father was in the head, and so she hadn’t seen nor passed him by…? What had Henry said? That people tried to steal energy from others? Was that what Carol was reacting to?

“So…no soup, huh?” her father said, sitting down now and right across from her. “You running again?”

“I am. Up to six miles a day.”

He shook his head. “I’d better get extra medical insurance…for your knees.”

“Oh, they seem to be holding up well enough? How are you doing?”

“Been busy, but I hope we have time to talk after the game.”

“After?”

“Yeah. I’ve got a three o’clock tee time and an event at the station downtown, then an owners meeting in the morning at the stadium…”

“Okay Dad, I get it…”

“Well, you see, I have a few ideas I wanted to go over with you and I was hoping we’d have time on the flight home, after the game.”

“Okay.”

“You really should try the soup. Enrique is a magician in the kitchen. The real deal.”

She smiled and nodded and he walked back to the conference table where Carol had set out their lunch, and Moloch walked by without so much as a glance…yet she felt him pass…felt him as he walked by, tentacles of hate reaching into her, pulling at her soul, trying to crush her…

But why? Why so much hate?

Enrique’s Newberg was indeed magical. Thick and heavy with cream and butter, after she finished it was all she could do to keep her eyes open, and after a few minutes she stopped trying. Her eyelids felt heavy and she was soon asleep…

…and in a deep dream…

She was walking in deep woods, a heavy forested world thick with tall pines waving like seaweed caught inside a wuthering tidal flow. She heard knocking in the clouds and looked up, saw wavering pines jousting in an unseen tournament, the sky alive with their arboreal combat. Then she felt something new, something everywhere, all around her.

Wolf? A wolf.

No…wolves. A pack of them. Closing in. On. Me.

She turned and looked into the trees but it was too dark to see much of anything there. Then…she heard a breaking branch. Close. And then soft footsteps, coming closer. Another crack! Another splitting twig.

She swung around and now she could see their eyes. Greenish gold, shifting orbs adrift in the twilight. Then more, many more. Like stars adrift in the forest, yet they were coming for her.

And then, one of them stepped into the light and he was huge, a monster sized wolf. His eyes seemed cold and feral, and a lust for death dripped from his fangs as he came to her slowly, steadily, his eyes walls of veiled regret.

Yet his aura was palest blue, and then it hit her. This was like Henry’s aura. Pale blue and under calm control, yet this was not Henry. No, this was Death, and Death was coming for her. Now.

She looked around. And saw there was. No place. To run.

Her heart. Beating hard. She felt pressure behind her eyes. Pressure, to run. But to where?

She looked down, saw a stick. Maybe a foot long, as big around as…as her ring finger?

She reached down and picked up the stick and threw it. Past the wolf to the forest’s edge, and the wolf looked at her then looked at the stick. He turned and ran to pick up the stick, then turned and ran back to her side, and yet then he sat in front of her, his tail wagging cheerfully. She reached for the stick and the wolf’s eyes turned cold and hard again, and drool ran down his canines.

“Would you put the stick down for me, please,” she cooed…

…and the wolf put the stick down, looking now at her expectantly, joyfully.

She threw the stick and he ran for it again, and when he came back to her she could tell he was hers now. He loved her, he would do anything for her – until the end of time…

“Debra?” she heard Carol say from someplace for away. From someplace outside this forest. “Debra, we’re getting ready to land. We need to get you belted in and ready. Okay?”

She blinked hard and felt a harsh dryness in her mouth, the dryness of fear, and when she looked out over the wing she saw a million gold spheres looking down on her from inside a wall of passing dark clouds…and yet light from just one of the spheres was pulsing…at her…as they passed.

+++++

“Yeah, we’ll be playin’ in the new stadium next year,” she heard someone say, and she looked around at the almost shellshocked crowd gathered below the owner’s box. It seemed like everyone inside Texas Stadium, whether up here or down in the stands, was hoping for some kind of miracle. First the crash of ’08 – as everyone was calling it now – then that Obama won the election. 

“What’s next? What could possibly be worse than Barack Fuckin’ Obama?” she gleaned from another conversation.

Bourbon was flowing freely up here, and half the men were talking about the size of their private jets while the other half were going on and on about Obama. Like W hadn’t inherited a surplus and then piled up debt like a drunken sailor on leave in Bangkok, one of them said…but that man was from San Francisco so he was fuckin’ crazy anyway so don’t listen to him or his shit. Then another said Jimmy Carter had started us down the road to perdition when he’d instituted wage and price controls, but then the crazy Californian had said that, no, actually, Nixon had instituted those types of controls, and that Ford had added to the program, calling it “WIN” – for Whip Inflation Now in the run-up to the ’76 election, and the Texans turned and walked away from “that radical fuckin’ know it all.”

Then the radical fuckin’ know it all had walked over to Deb. “Excuse me,” he said, “but aren’t you Debra Sorensen?”

“Me? That’s the rumor,” she sighed, because his aura was silver green and he looked overloaded with greed.

“Peter Teal. We were at Harvard Westlake together.”

She smiled then. “Well how bout that. Peter? How you doing?”

“I heard you were working for Eagle. What’s with that, anyway?”

“It’s a paycheck, I suppose.”

“Man, I never thought you’d be desperate enough to work for a group like that.”

“Desperate? What do you mean?”

“Man, that’s Fascist Central, in case you haven’t heard. Moloch is bad news.”

She turned and looked at her father and Moloch talking to one of the Cowboy’s coaches, and no one looked happy. “Fascist Central? I hadn’t heard that one.”

“Oh? Well, maybe you ought to get out more. Your dad and Moloch are gathering up every right wing pundit in the country. Word is, they’ve got plans. Big plans.”

“Peter, I’m not following you.”

“Well, we ain’t exactly in the place for a conversation like this, if you know what I mean. Maybe we could get together for lunch next week?”

“Yeah. Maybe. What are you doing here?”

“My dad is a big investor in the team so we get invited to most of the games. I got the call this time.”

“The call? You’re not into football?”

He shook his head. “No way. It’s a big fuckin’ diversion. Feed ‘em Bar-B-Que and Budweiser and keep ‘em plugged into football and you’ll keep ‘em fat dumb and happy…”

She chuckled at that, if only because she hadn’t heard that one since she was a senior at Harvard Westlake. 

“What? You don’t agree?”

She shrugged. “It’s probably better than sitting in the basement watching porn.”

Now he laughed. “I’ll drink to that!” he said, hoisting his glass to her Pellegrino. “You drinking water?” he scoffed.

“I don’t do well with liquor,” she replied.

“Yeah, well, I’m in Texas so I’m doing Dr. Pepper.”

“Ah. I prefer Coke.”

“You say potato…”

“So let’s call the whole thing off,” she sang, and smiling now – because she finally had someone to talk to.

“Say, I remember hearing you went out with Bill Taylor when he was at ‘SC. Was that a thing?”

She nodded. “Yup. He’s good people, too.”

“Never met him. Helluva linebacker, though. I hear they’re going to extend his contract two more years.”

“Oh? I hadn’t heard that one.”

“Big bucks, too. Pro Bowl last two years, leading the league in sacks for the third year in a row. He’s going to be Hall of Fame material if he gets into another Super Bowl.”

“He’s a nice guy,” she said, just as the Forty Niners ran out onto the field. Loud choruses of boos filled the stadium as the “out of town” players gathered by their bench, and Debra searched through their ranks, looking for number 57, and yes, there he was. Helmet off, talking to one of the coaches as the Cowboys came out of their tunnel and thundered onto the field. Cannons fired and blue-streamers filled the smoke-filled air and then the ever popular Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders bounced and jiggled their way around the sidelines, whipping the crowd into a fever-pitched frenzy of beer-fueled lust. Players head-butted and slapped each others shoulder pads as team captains walked out to the center of the field for the coin toss.

And William Taylor was out there. He called the toss and the Forty Niners won.

And that was probably the highlight of their day.

Nothing went right for the Niners as the Cowboys and Tony Romo picked their defense apart and then halfway into the third quarter the Cowboys center blind-sided William Taylor from the left, while their left tackle clipped Taylor from the right. Something had to give and that something was Taylor’s right knee; he went down hard and didn’t even try to get up. He lay face down on the Astro-Turf pounding the ground with his fists while the team’s physicians ran out onto the field.

And then the blood-lust subsided for a while. The crowd grew increasingly quiet – until an ambulance drove out onto the field – and then a sudden stillness fell over the stadium. Taylor was put on a gurney and lifted into the ambulance and Deb watched as it took off for parts unknown; she turned just in time to watch her father and Moloch shake hands…and she wondered what that was all about.

Then she remembered Moloch had just recently gone out of his way to get her team of reporters to look into shady orthopedic groups pumping painkillers to NFL greats…and was that merely a coincidence? She could count on one hand the number of times he’d given her an assignment like that, but a couple of weeks before this game? And why had her father insisted she come today? He’d never done anything even remotely like this before. And…what was that handshake all about?

Deb Sorensen wasn’t a reporter but she’d developed a nose for a good story and she smelled one now. She walked over to Peter Teal, who just then was standing with the owner and some of his investors, and all were shaking their heads in disgust…

“That was a classic take-down…” one of them said, and all agreed. “Someone wanted Taylor out of the game…”

And when Deb felt an icy fist grab her throat she turned and watched her father and Moloch moving through the room, their viral auras filling the air like coiled snakes seeking release. Was her father really capable of something like that? But…why? What would he gain from taking Bill out of the game? And was that why he’d been talking to one of the Cowboy’s coaches before the game?

When she turned around Peter was studying her face, and while he seemed genuinely concerned he also seemed a little confused. “Deb? What’s going on?”

“What?”

“You. Something is going on, and I think you know what it is…”

“Do you happen to know what hospital they’ll take him to? I want to go see him…”

“That’s not a good idea,” he father said, coming up from behind.

“But I…”

“Will be with me when we head over to Love Field, and I’d like to beat the crowd so we’ll be leaving now.”

His aura was a sleek black thing now, well fed and satiated yet full of latent evil.

She looked at Peter. “Call me next week,” she whispered in his ear as she leaned in to hug him, at the time slipping a business card into his right hand. “It was so nice to see you again, Pete. Good luck with that deal.”

She turned and joined her father as Moloch came over to join them. They made their way to an elevator that would take them to a private underground parking garage, and when the elevator doors closed behind them he turned to her.

“Who was that?” he asked.

“Pete Teal. He was in my class at Harvard Westlake. Funny, I hadn’t seen him in ages, at least since graduation – and there he was…”

“Oh,” her father said, apparently satisfied. For now, anyway.

“He mentioned meeting for lunch sometime,” she added.

“Good,” he replied, as he turned quietly to Moloch; words unseen and unheard passed between them, and she watched as Moloch nodded his understanding.

‘Now what?’ she said – just as the doors opened…

© 2021-22 adrian leverkühn | abw | adrianleverkühnwrites.com all rights reserved, and as usual this is just a little bit of fiction, pure and simple.

(Diana Krall \\ Dancing in the Dark)

(Jon & Vangelis \\ Play Within a Play)

The Paranoia Chronicles, v3

Kind of difficult to know where to begin right now, because it feels like deja vu all over again.

Like “Hey, Dude! Welcome back to the 60s,” ya know? “Peace and Love, ya know?”

How many of you remember “duck and cover” drills? If you were in school in October of ’62 you surely do. When Khrushchev first sent IRBMs to Cuba and the world held its breath? So…wait one…you don’t know what an IRBM is? Well then, that means you probably missed the 60s.

So, welcome to the party!

Because we got your ICBMs, these being the really big missiles called Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles, then we got your IRBMs (Intermediate Range) and your SLBMs (Sea Launched), then we got you Mark 61 freefall bombs and whole arsenals of short to medium range nuclear tipped missiles and rockets carried by all manner of aircraft, and we’ve even got your nuclear tipped howitzer rounds and even funkier nuclear grenade sized warheads that can be fired by troops on the battlefield. Yes, our nuclear weapons designers have been busy little beavers!

enquirertrump

I mean, really. Since 1964, when perhaps coincidentally Dr Strangelove came out, nuclear annihilation has kind of been where it’s at, especially for the power elite in Moscow and Washington. It’s where the big bucks are, I guess. They’re the ultimate status symbol, the plaything of the really rich and famous. “Look at me! I’ve got a nuclear football! Don’t mess with me or I’ll really rain on your parade!”

Which was where MAD was supposed to come in. It was our…Trump card…

Drumpf 6

MAD, as in Mutually Assured Destruction. You nuke me and guess what? I’ll nuke you too, but two times over. MAD meant a stable, almost predictable relationship between the Soviet Union and NATO. MAD was, and is still predicated on the idea that no sane leader would ever dare invoke a nuclear exchange because the results are so dire. Go watch a video on nuclear fallout patterns or the specifics of nuclear winter and see if you can sleep tonight.

But an idea predicated on sane leadership has never some up against a leadership caste that believes to its core that a nuclear war is winnable, and that’s what we’re running up against in Ukraine. Right out the door Prince Vlad started rattling the nuclear saber, and that has been very, very bad news to those of us who see no upside to a thousand rad exposure to ionizing nuclear radiation. That kind of suntan will seriously ruin your day.

strange-logo

But Ukraine is a done deal, the sacrificial goat, the canary in our coal mine. Ukraine is where we analyze the Russian war machine. Where we send all kinds of SIGINT aircraft to analyze Russian radar emissions, to watch their command and control networks in action, so when the real war starts – and start it will – we’ll know how to grind the Russian war machine to a quick and decisive halt. Because if we can’t, well, that’s when the real fun starts. That’s the long game Putin has been playing. This is the reason why Putin put so much into getting Trump elected in the first place. Divide and Conquer, right.

Boy, did that work out well, or what?

So the paranoid streak running rampant through my mind says we are sleep walking our way right into World War Three. We sat back and watched Prince Vlad while the Greek Chorus sang seductive songs of Peace In Our Time and, well, we got a little complacent. Trump help convince the White Nationalists in our midst that Prince Vlad was The One True Savior, and Steven Seagal fans everywhere rejoiced in a silent night. Trump belittled NATO as a bunch of deadbeats as he sang his siren’s song of Hate to authoritarians in Hungary and to the leaders of rightist parties all over Europe. He wrote love letter to the fat kid in North Korea while he pissed on the Japanese. He weakened us, because, well, that’s what Putin wanted him to do. Mission accomplished,

And so, now here we are. Tucker Carlson is calling the shots and Steve Bannon is helping run the Packers power sweep. Again. They’re dividing us, again. When we should be uniting we are being divided – by people enthralled by Prince Vlad.

And this is why war is inevitable. It’s inevitable because we’re playing by the rules in Putin’s playbook, not ours. Putin is acting, and we’re reacting. Never a good idea when nuclear weapons are involved.

So, do you know where it’s all going to go down? Where our little world is going to turn sideways? Well, ever heard of the The Suwalki Corridor? Read the linked article if interested, because it’s an eye opener, but the Cliff Notes version is this: the corridor is a 65 km wide swath of Poland that borders Lithuania. Cut off that corridor and NATO can no longer directly resupply the Baltic States (because Belarus sits on one side of the corridor and Kaliningrad is on the other). Both are Russian proxies. And when the next war starts it will start when Prince Vlad decides to continue his restoration of Greater Russian Glory by annexing Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia, i.e., the Baltic States, and taking the corridor in his opening move of the second phase of his war.

With Russia now shooting journalists in Ukraine and about to declare martial law at home, smart Russians are heading for the exits. And the closest exit is Finland. Hundreds, if not thousands of Russians are lining up at border crossings on the Finnish border, trying to get out before the net closes. My guess? These people remember the Greater Russian Glory of the Gulag system and want no part of it, but hey, that’s just me.

And what happens when the Finnish parliamentarians decide they want into NATO? What happens when Prince Vlad says no to that? Care to guess?

Hey…I’m just sayin’…

Watch this video and tell me what your first reaction is when watching (and watch through to the end, please):

It is difficult to watch this clip without thinking the worst has already happened, but this was “just” a so-called thermobaric weapon, or a so-called fuel-air bomb. Their use is illegal, but hell, so is war. Then again, that little piece of work did just fine when we went into Iraq, but that was illegal too and some estimates put the number of civilian dead in that war at one million, plus or minus. And some fairly articulate people have made the case that a couple of American politicians should be considered war criminals. And hey, we Americans used thermobaric weapons in Afghanistan to bomb cave complexes, so you kind of have to consider that what goes around comes around. That Irony can come up from behind and bite you on the ass, but then again cave complexes are not European cities.

These are strange times. It’s 2022 and here we are thinking about the unthinkable again, like living under the threat of these hideous weapons for forty years wasn’t enough. Here we sit, fat dumb and happy and living under the most peaceful, let alone the most prosperous conditions in human history, then along comes a new wave of authoritarian leaders – and probably the most duplicitous of the lot was right here in America – and then a tiny little virus came along to remind us things really aren’t as settled and rosy as we might have liked to think they were. And that hubris continues to be our achilles heel. And who knows, maybe hubris is the one constant in our humanity we just can’t overcome. I know we can’t outrun it. I’ve watched and watched and no one has done it yet.

Because, when all is said and done, Vladimir Putin is one of us. He’s a human being. Outrageously flawed? Sure, maybe, and there seems little question about that, at least from where I sit. And who knows, he may be another Hitler, but when you get right down to it that’s a decision to made by historians writing the next chapter of our story, and saying that now means little more to this moment than hurling a hot fudge sundae at a cold brick wall. It’s impotence, at least right now it is, yet it’s also worth remembering that histories are written by the victors.

But what happens when there are no winners?

strange-1

So, who will write our epitaph? And…will it even matter? Will the universe care that one more species came and went with little more than a whimper in the night?

Ooooh…It really makes me wonder…

Forgotten Songs From An Imaginary Life, Chapter 14.4

Music spheres 1

Rabbit hole? What rabbit hole?

So, it may be time for a reality check. Or maybe even a few harsh realities, but we’ll see…

Regardless, time for tea, anyone? Or coffee, perhaps…with a side of Maltese Falcon…?

“Who knows?” said Mr. Cairo. “You better call Sam Spade, while there’s still time.”

(America \\ Daisy Jane)

(The Dream Academy  \\ The Love Parade)

Part IV: The Music of the Spheres

Chapter 14.4

Beverly Hills, California     7 June 2002

Ted Sorensen picked up the telephone and dialed Deb’s number at the house in Aspen – and still it just rang and rang. After twelve rings he gently replaced the receiver and wondered what to do next. The private detectives he’d hired to run her down had followed the trail to Seattle Tacoma International, but the trail had gone cold right there at the airport and that had been weeks ago. And that meant she’d been in contact with that fucking computer geek, Mr. Know-it-all Henry Fucking Taggart – but then that trail had led nowhere, too – and fast. A quick check at the start-up he was working for had produced no leads, only that he’d taken an indefinite leave of absence.

So…she was with Taggart but they were both otherwise “off the grid” – using cash and doing whatever they could to keep it that way.

And he had to admit…he really didn’t give a shit what she did, or who she did it with, but she was living in his house and keeping him “out of the loop” like this was, in effect, a declaration of independence. “So be it,” he sighed angrily, looking up the number for the largest realtor in Aspen, before he decided to call Dina Marlowe.

“She’s vanished?” Dina said, chuckling a little. “Imagine that.”

“Look, I don’t appreciate you laughing like that,” he snapped.

“Oh, Ted, I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing with you…”

“With me!?” he snarled. “What’s so funny about this?”

“Well, for one…you are, at least the way you’re overreacting to this – is kind of funny.”

He wanted to slam the receiver down but in truth Dina was about the only person left in LA he considered a friend, and you didn’t do that to friends. “You think I’m overreacting to all this?”

“Ted, she’s a big girl now. No more pony rides at her birthday party, okay? She’s stretching her wings, learning to fly, so just let her be. She’s been needing to do this for years, so just sit back, take a deep breath and let her fly for a while. Everything will be alright.”

He took a deep breath and shook his head, not sure how to proceed now. “Look, I called because I’m angry about the whole thing and I was thinking about selling the house in Aspen…”

“What! Don’t you dare!”

“Excuse me?”

“No, Ted. That’s almost…infantile! Punish her for trying to grow up? What are you trying to accomplish? Keep her in diapers? Maybe hire a nanny to breast feed her for a few more years!”

“What…I…”

“Really, Ted…seriously, just let it be. She’ll be okay with Henry. He’s good people, and you know that as well as anyone here in LA.”

“You think Taggart is a good person?”

“Are you kidding? He saved her life, Ted, in case you’ve forgotten all that crap in Bora-Bora, and I’m not even supposed to mention Catalina but he saved her life again out there…”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“Look, I promised Deb I wouldn’t tell you so just take my word for it. Henry Taggart is a decent human being and leave it at that, okay?”

He sighed and involuntarily shivered, and then his right hand started to tremble. “How does a late lunch sound?”

“I’m free if you are.”

“Gladstone’s? In an hour?”

“As long as I don’t have to have that damn She Crab soup…”

“I love that stuff…”

“What’s not to love? It’s nothing but butter, heavy cream and sherry…”

“God, I love it when you talk dirty to me like that…”

 SV AquaTarkus   Little Refuge Cove, Desolation Sound, BC                   7 June 2002

Deb stood on deck, taking the fuel hose from Henry down on the dock, slipping the fill nozzle into the opening with practiced ease. 

“God, I love it up here,” she sighed, standing now and taking a deep breath.

“Yeah, I love diesel fumes as much as the next guy, but I think I smell cinnamon rolls.”

There was a fishing boat at the other fuel dock and a passing fisherman heard that and stopped to chat. “Great place up there on the hill, in case you don’t know Annie.”

“Good cinnamon rolls?”

“Yup. And I oughta know. I married the cook thirty years ago because of those damn things,” he said, rubbing his ample gut.

Henry grinned at that. “We’ll go check ‘em out. You wouldn’t happen to know anyplace around here to pick up some salmon, would you?”

“I got some fresh if you don’t mind cleaning ‘em yourself. How much you need?”

“Oh, two or three ought to do us for a few days.”

“I’ll go get you a couple. Out of the water this morning, too.”

“Excellent!” He looked up at Deb – who had out of habit turned away so the fisherman’s aura wouldn’t bombard her senses – but she turned around now and smiled.

“Sounds good,” she added.

Daisy Jane sleepily bounded up the companionway and took a quick look around, then settled into her perch in the cockpit, secure as she surveyed her new domain.

“Hear that, Daisy-Jane? Fresh salmon!”

Daisy’s tail started to thump-thump, indicating her solid approval of the measure, and when the fuel filler snapped Deb topped off the tank with two more quick squirts then handed the hose back to Henry. The fisherman came by with three fish as long as Taggart’s arm and he pulled out his wallet and settled up.

“You can leave your boat here if you’re just gonna run up to the store for a few minutes,” the fisherman added. 

“Thanks,” Henry said as he turned to Daisy. “You ready for a long walk, girl?”

Daisy grabbed her leash and hopped over the lifelines in one fluid motion, and the fisherman stood still and gasped at that display.

“You teach her to do that?” he asked.

“No, no we didn’t. She’s just a bright dog.”

“Bright? Hell, I’ve never seen any dog do that before.”

“Well, you’ve never met Daisy Jane then, have you?” Henry leaned over and snapped the leash to her collar then he turned to her. “Daisy, say hello to the nice man, would you?”

Daisy ambled over and sat down in front of the fisherman, then she extended her right hand as she looked up at him.

“I’ll be,” he said as he leaned over and took her paw. “You’re right. Never seen anything like that before.”

“She’s a good girl.”

Daisy turned and “woofed” once, then looked at a trail that led into the woods, and she looked excited, too.

“Alright, alright, don’t get your panties in a wad. I hear you, let’s go…”

+++++

They anchored out and Henry filleted one of the salmon, slicing up some sashimi with the best cuts and cutting up a few filets to broil that evening, and about that time Deb called out that she and Daisy were going to take the Zodiac over to the waterfall and go for a walk.

“Take the bear spray, okay?”

“Got it already.”

“Have fun!”

He heard her start the outboard and smiled. She really was getting into the groove of life on the water – almost as much as Daisy Jane had. But that was a different story altogether.

The pup was different after her night with the orcas. Different, as in smarter. Different, in that Deb reported her aura had changed – significantly. It wasn’t just brighter, no, she displayed more colors now, too, like the range of her emotional expressiveness had changed, had somehow been expanded. Had her base of emotional understanding been changed, as well? There was no way to know for sure, but where interaction with this pod of orcas was concerned Henry was learning to question his assumptions, because something more than a little odd was going on.

Still, this idyll had to come to an end, and soon. He couldn’t just quit work, at least not yet, but on the other hand he wasn’t sure he wanted this thing with Deb to end just yet. She’d made it clear she loved him and he was pretty sure he loved her too, but then again that really wasn’t the problem. 

Her father was. He always had been, and until she changed that dynamic, until she declared her independence from him – to his face – she’d always be compromised emotionally…and as far as Taggart was concerned Ted Sorensen was too dangerous to cross twice.

Because, yes, he’d already crossed the man once, and because Sorensen had enemies, Sorensen usually had people to do his dirty work for him. At least…that was the rumor…

After Papeete and after sorting through all the bogus claims about Ted wanting to get a boat, Sorensen had asked Henry to come to work for him at Paramount. And his offer was staggeringly generous, too. So he’d done his due diligence, had asked around about Sorensen and what he’d learned had been enough. He declined the offer, and in declining he had, apparently, offended Sorensen. Soon after that his dad had called and warned him off, told him to leave town and let things blow over, so Henry had quietly returned to Seattle. He’d only come down to do the dive class with Deb and the Kid because she almost begged him to, but he’d left LA as soon as he got Spree III docked and washed down.

Then she’d called two months ago and this time her call was really unexpected, like out of the blue unexpected, but it was the sound of her voice that had gotten to him most of all. Like there was some kind of damage involved, like she was pleading for help, for rescue…but then again he realized that was what he’d been doing ever since he’d met her. Maybe that was all he was supposed to be, too. Her knight in shining armor, on call to ride in to the rescue, to save her from her father.

“And that’s not the role I want to live,” he realized. 

Taggart was also smart enough to understand he was getting on in years and Deb was probably his last chance to do the whole settle down with a wife and have kids kind of thing, yet it just didn’t feel right. Yeah, he loved her. Yeah, she was cute in a measured kind of way, even if she was a little frumpy – at least according to the standards of Hollywood royalty she seemed to always compare herself to. 

And yeah, the whole aura thing was pretty confusing, if only because her ability made for a kind of lopsided view of things. He was, comparatively speaking, almost blind where her abilities were concerned, and he’d found it more than a little unnerving to find her staring at him and then feeling like he was being analyzed – probably because he was!

And now he wasn’t so sure that Daisy didn’t have the same sort of ability – or abilities. Ever since her night with the orcas he’d caught her staring at him, too – and he could literally see her reacting to him…even when he was sitting perfectly still. Then he’d found a paperback and started reading, his emotions tracking along with the story’s ups and downs, and he’d watched as Daisy reacted right along with him. After that he’d felt like he was under continuous scrutiny from them both, and he really didn’t like the way that felt – which of course created a whole new feedback loop of observation and assessment…so where would it stop? Indeed, could it stop? And if not, what kind of future was there for a relationship grounded in such iniquity?

The little Refuge Cove market had great produce and he’d gone wild buying pears and Brussels sprouts, but with sprouts on hand he’d had to buy cherries…so now he had everything he needed for dinner. He diced some bacon and put it on a low heat, then he cleaned and halved the sprouts and put them in the skillet face down with the bacon…and with a little butter and some brandy, too. He pitted and halved a handful of cherries and added them to the skillet; he covered the skillet and lowered the heat to a bare simmer while he prepped the salmon with soy and freshly grated ginger, then he waited for Deb to get back, opening a fresh bottle of riesling and slicing some kind of local cheese the owner had recommended. He heard the dingy arrive and set the salmon under the broiler just as Deb cried a miserable sounding “Help!”

Because Daisy had found a skunk. And Daisy had decided the skunk needed to be investigated, and before Deb knew what had happened Daisy came running out of the woods smelling like, well, just the secretions secreted by a skunk’s anal glands. 

And he could smell the true dimensions of the problem even before he made it up the companionway steps. So…he stopped and turned off the broiler and the fire under the sprouts, found the box of baking soda he’d put in the ‘fridge and two large bottles of tomato juice he used to make Bloody Marys – then pinched his nose and crawled out to the swim platform.

“What do you expect me to do with that stuff?” Deb squalled.

“Give her a bath!”

“Where?” 

“Right there. And for God’s sake don’t let her get below or one of us will have to buy this boat! You can’t get that smell out once it gets down below…!”

“I don’t know how to do that!”

Henry shook his head – because he realized there was no getting out of this one – then he took off his t-shirt and hopped down into the dingy. He poured one bottle of the tomato juice all over Daisy and let that soak in for a bit, then he grabbed her by the cuff and dipped her into the sea. He pulled her up and took the baking soda and massaged it into the skin where the skunk’s spray had hit, then a few minutes later he dunked her again. “Okay. That was round one. You do round two.”

“But you’ve already got that stuff all over you now…”

“Yeah? So do you. So you might go for a swim right now…before I toss you in…”

“You wouldn’t dare!” She looked at him for a moment – then said: “Oh yes you would!”

“Hmm. That worked out rather well, I think.”

Malibu, California                                                      7 June 2002

Ted leaned back and sighed. “Damn if that didn’t hit the spot!”

“Which one?” Dina quipped, grinning.

“You and your Caesar salads…are you always watching your weight?”

“Yes. Always.”

“Doesn’t that get boring?”

“Fat is boring, Ted. And fat means no more dating and probably no more clients.”

“You’re not serious.”

“Oh Hell yes I am. Architecture is all about appearances, Ted, and my personal appearance is just one part of the overall package.”

“You sound like you’re selling yourself, Dina.”

“And don’t you think for one moment that I’m not, Ted. From the moment a potential client walks in my door until my proposal is accepted and signed-off on, everything I say and do is judged, as is the way I look, and you know better than anyone that’s especially true in this town.”

He nodded. “Do you sleep with many of your clients?”

“Never, at least not until I met you.”

“Oh? And to what do I owe this honor?”

“Because we’re simpatico, darlin’. In case you didn’t know that already.”

“And you say that because…?”

“Just a feelin’ I had when we met. That’s why I invited you and Deb down to the house, and that’s why whenever you have a problem you can’t get a handle on you call me.”

“Do I do that? Really?”

“Really.”

The waiter brought his credit card receipt and he signed it and took his copy, then he looked up at Dina. “Wanna take a walk?”

“What? Down there?” she said, nodding at the beach.

“Yeah.”

“What’s wrong, Ted? Is it Deb?”

“Huh? Oh, no, not really. I was thinking about us while I was driving down here.”

“Us? As in you and me?”

“Yes. As in.”

“Uh-oh…this sounds serious,” she sighed.

“You know, in a way I think it kind of is. You’re the only real friend I have, Dina. You’re the only person I know who isn’t working an angle on me, who doesn’t want something from me…you know?”

“I know.”

“I’m just curious, but does that mean anything to you?”

“Yes, it does, Ted. It means the world to me, actually.”

“Come on, let’s hit the sand.”

She nodded and slid out her side of the booth, and he casually came up and took her hand as they walked out through the massed throngs of diners and people waiting in a long line to get in…and this was something new, something that hadn’t happened before…and never had when they were out in public. He wasn’t on the usual paparazzis’ radar, but they staked out this place and he knew that…so…what was he up to…?

He took off his shoes and she held on to him while she slipped out of hers, and they started down the beach towards Santa Monica among the last of the day’s sun-seekers and die-hard surfer-dudes.

“LA wouldn’t be LA without all this,” he sighed, watching a surfer riding a little two-footer into shore.

She squeezed his hand gently, felt the return pressure and smiled. “You sure it’s not the She Crab soup?”

“That’s a Carolina thing. I never knew that, but there you go.”

“Something’s bothering you today, Ted. You want to talk about it?”

“Oh, I was just thinking, you know. I woke up this morning worried about Deb so I called you. And yeah, you talked me down. But then again, you usually do. Maybe I’m a hot-head, I don’t know…”

“You do have a temper, Ted.”

“I know. But the point is, well,” but then he stopped talking – and then he looked down, almost like he was gathering his thoughts. “I woke up this morning and it was like I looked around and here I was in this huge house but now it’s just me in there. No wife. No kids. And no grandkids. And yeah, I know four other people live there but, yeah, they’re on the payroll so that doesn’t quite count, does it?”

“Probably not.”

“I think it’s the empty bed, Dina. Waking up to an empty bed, in that empty bedroom. That house. It’s like an insinuation now, an open sore that won’t heal.”

“I know.”

“And yeah, I remember you tried to talk me out of building it, that a more open plan would have made more sense, but right then it didn’t…”

“And now it does?”

“I don’t know. I’m not a romantic, at least not in the classical sense of the word, but I think I’m realist enough to admit that a house, any house, doesn’t keep someone from loving. Or even keep out all the prying eyes. Maybe that was naive…”

“Or wishful thinking?” she added.

“Or wishful thinking. Yeah. But every now and then I ask myself what impact that house has had on me. And on Debra.”

“I’m not sure you’ll ever find an answer to that question, Ted. It was always going to be an inward looking design – because you were turning in on yourself after Kathy passed, and even Deb was old enough to see that. And who knows, she probably even understood why you felt that way. I doubt she understood why the house is the way it is, at least not at the time, but I bet she does now.”

“That’s right. You two talk a lot, don’t you?”

“I wouldn’t say a lot, but…”

“But she trusts you, right?”

“I think so, Ted. Why? Is that so important?”

“In a way, yes.” He started walking along again, but he moved a little closer to the water’s edge, and every now and then the remnants of a wave made it far enough to cover their feet for a moment.

“In a way?”

“Well, say we were to, well, suppose, just for the sake of discussion, say we were together. She wouldn’t exactly rebel against the idea, would she?”

“Together? Like what, married?”

“Married, living together…whatever…she would accept that, right?”

“You might ask her, Ted, but I think she’d be okay with that.”

“What about you?”

“Yeah, I’d be okay with that, too,” she said, squeezing his hand again. “Have you ever ridden the ferris wheel at the pier?” she asked, looking down the beach to the Santa Monica Pier.

“You know, we never went, even when Deb was little.”

“Your mom never took you?”

“My mom was a shrink, Dina. There was no talk about amusement parks around our house.”

“Then your mom probably needs a shrink.”

“Probably, but she was always been concerned about appearances. The front lawn had to be immaculate but who cared what the kitchen looked like. Unless company was coming over, that is.”

“Ah, that explains why you’re so neat and tidy.”

“Yeah, maybe, but more than anything else I think I crave order. Everything in its place…”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t have fun, Ted.”

He nodded. “I know.” He shuffled his feet through the surf a little, then he turned and looked at the setting sun. “You know, when that kid came here for William’s birthday, his brother…he asked if, no, he invited me to come along to Disneyland…and the funny thing is I think I wanted to…”

“You have been, right?”

He shook his head. “I think there was a class trip every year when I was at Harvard-Westlake, but Mom never signed off on it.”

“So…you’ve never been?”

“I’ve seen the Matterhorn from the Interstate…does that count?”

Dina sighed. “Well, that settles that. I know what we’re doing this weekend.”

“Dina…I’m not sure I know how to laugh anymore.”

She stopped in her tracks and pulled him around until they were standing face to face. “Well then, Mr. Sorensen…I think it’s high time you learned again.” And she pulled him closer still, until there was no room at all left between them.

And off in the distance they heard someone call out “Get a room!” and they both had a good laugh at that.

“The idea has merit, don’t you think?” she whispered in his ear.

“We could drive to Vegas, you know? Go to one of those wedding chapels on the strip?”

“Oh Ted, when all is said and done you really are a wild-eyed romantic!”

“What can I say? You bring out the Elvis in me…”

“What is it…a five hour drive?”

“Something like that.”

“You really want to?”

“No more empty bedrooms for me, Dina. I’ve had enough of all that.”

“Let’s drop off my car at your place,” she said.

“Our place,” he corrected in his best Bogart voice. “As in…just you and me, kid.”

They turned to walk back to their cars, still holding hands, still lost in the moment. Speaking to the silence of their need, friends for so long now that words hardly mattered. Her skin felt so good on his and that seemed to be the measure of the moment and the moment had nothing more to ask of him. They walked up to the valet parking stand and he paid their fares and then they stood in the little line there, waiting. Waiting…

“Hey, Sorensen!”

He turned to the sound of the voice like some might turn when it’s time to face the music and he almost had time to recognize the man, to put the face to the voice, before the first shot rang out. People scattered, a woman screamed, then he heard a second shot and he felt that one. ‘I’m burning,’ the little voice trapped inside said. ‘I feel hot.’ His eyes were wide open now but everything was white and that didn’t make sense.

No, nothing made sense now. ‘Why am I laying down?’

There were two more shots, then came the sirens. ‘Just like in the movies…’

“Dina?” he managed to say before the darkness came for him, but all he heard was a deafening silence beyond the gentle roar of all his yesterdays.

© 2021-22 adrian leverkühn | abw | adrianleverkühnwrites.com all rights reserved, and as usual this is just a little bit of fiction, pure and simple.

Recommend you read the lyric to this one, preferably as you listen.

(Jon and Vangelis \\ The Friends of Mr Cairo)

Forgotten Songs From An Imaginary Past, Chapter 14.3

Music spheres 1

Lot’s to ponder in our little world these days, most of it quite worrisome. Maybe nothing makes sense but it all seems to keep on happening no matter what we think or feel. I hesitate to mention this, but thanks for dropping by and spending some of your day with me. It is much appreciated.

So…these are Debra Sorensen’s forgotten songs and they always have been. Grab a cup of tea and settle in, ’cause it’s down the rabbit hole we go again, and it’ll be a bumpy ride for a while, so…hang on, because we’re gonna get wet…

(The Who \\ Go To The Mirror)

(The Beatles  \\ Fixing a Hole)

Part IV: The Music of the Spheres

Chapter 14.3

Red Mountain Road, Pitkin County, Colorado    12 April 2002

Debra Sorensen was sitting in the sun, enjoying the unexpected warmth slanting through her living room windows. There was an eight month old Golden Retriever puppy curled up on top of her thighs, and Deb gently rubbed the puppy’s soft white belly until, sure enough, the pup rolled over and stretched, probably startled out of dreams all her own – all while enjoying their mid-morning warmth together. Winter had come early and was showing no signs of leaving, and there was still more than four feet of snow in her yard, and yet another massive winter storm was expected overnight. 

Her shoulders felt tight, her neck like a hot steel rod had replaced her spine, and she knew she could never again fall back into the comforting arms of Xanax – but the temptation was always so strong…and it was always there wherever she went, an itch she could never quite reach. The pup had seemed like a good idea at the time, just like this house had, but now, after a long winter wrapped up in this stone and timber cocoon, she was tired of the short days and the oh-so-long nights and ready to go somewhere. Anywhere.

But that wasn’t really possible now, was it? And while she knew why, there was no comfort in knowing.

Because seeing people had become an overwhelming cascade of unwanted information, and after just a few days at her father’s house, the city had left her a breathless, anxious wreck. Even getting in her Porsche and running over to Gelson’s for a few things to make a sandwich left her reeling – because every soul she passed, either in passing cars on the street or while walking down an aisle in the supermarket, projected streams of relentless, undeniable emotion. 

Someone overcome with grief? She could not only see it, she soon realized she was feeling the other person’s grief. Debra soon realized she wasn’t just an empath…no, now she was like some kind of amped up vacuum cleaner, sucking up emotion everywhere she went. And while she’d always been a true empath, now there was no way to turn off the stream, no way to shut it down – without walling herself off from humanity.

She’d told her dad she wanted to move up to the mountains, maybe some place with clean air and close to someplace where she could ski in the winter and go hiking in the summer. So of course he’d called Dina Marlowe. And it happened she’d built a place just outside of Aspen back in the 90s but she never used it and yada-yada-yada. They all hopped in the Gulfstream and flew into Sardy Field, and Dina showed her around the house. She’d originally designed it for an actor – and no, she would not reveal who – but he’d had a heart attack and that was that. His widow had objected but the actor had left the house to Dina and yes, that too was that. She was, Dina hastened to add, still a rather striking looking creature and, well, she just left the rest to their imagination.

“How does five sound?” she asked.

But Ted had just smiled at her. “Sure. Why not?” he said.

And yet the sight of their emotional dance had left Debra revolted. His swirling black vortices intermingled with her purple greed and the sight had sent her fleeing to the emptiness of the road and, without knowing why she’d taken off up the road. ‘Maybe a bear will come out of nowhere and eat my fat fucking ass,’ she snarled as she walked along the gray gravelly shoulder, her brand new hiking boots kicking up tawny rivulets of dust on the side of the road. But no, after a couple hundred yards she came to a house and a happy enough looking family was out front, and just then a little girl held up a puppy and shouted at her…

“You here for the puppies!” the girl asked. Her aura was bursting with reds and greens, almost a fireworks display, and Deb pinched her eyes and tried not to stare.

“What?” Deb said at last, smiling as she took in the girl’s innocent if sparkling aura.

The girl’s mother turned and looked at Deb. “Sorry. We had an unexpected litter and we just put an ad in the paper…” Pale blue aura…so she seemed safe, for now anyway.

Deb walked down and looked at the puppies and then at the pups’ mom and dad. “They’re gorgeous,” Deb sighed, marveling at the fact that all their auras were tiny and uniformly blue. “Which one is your favorite?” Deb asked.

“This one,” the little girl said, and Deb knelt down beside the girl and rubbed the pup’s tiny chin.

“She’s really pretty. Have you given her a name yet?”

“Daisy. Isn’t that good name?”

“It sure is. And you know what? I’m buying the house just down the hill so anytime you want to come visit Daisy you can. How does that sound?”

The girl had jumped up and down at that…and Deb turned away from the intense display of joy.

…but her parents were a little sanguine about situation.

“Look,” her mother whispered to Deb, “if it doesn’t work out just bring her back. No questions asked, okay?” she said, her aura a cool, soothing blue green.

“Have you ever had a pup before?” her husband asked, and his question felt more like an interrogation. His aura flickered from maroon to gray, and Deb filed that away.

“Nope, but I always wanted one.”

The woman nodded, perhaps a little too knowingly, but then again Debra could see her reluctance, not just hear it in her voice. Her aura changed to bright lime green flecked with red, but it was a subdued display, almost trustworthy, and after Deb promised to come right back with her wallet she took off down the road, back to Dina’s house. Well, to her house, right?

And then she’d decided to stay at the house that night, no matter what. Dina took a guest room across from her father’s room, leaving Deb to sort out her things in the huge main bedroom. Dina taught her how to start a fire and how to work the appliances; she’d even made out a list of all the people in Aspen who could be counted on in a pinch, a list most notable for including not one plumber or electrician. Daisy, however, knew how to pee and set about marking the house with gusto.

And so, the very next day her father and Dina left and she watched his Gulfstream lift off and fly down the valley, turning to the left over a big red mountain and disappearing behind another wall of mountains, these kind of green, but a scraggly sort of green. And that’s when she realized she didn’t have a car, and that the nearest market was in Aspen, and that was about ten miles away.

She went inside and found a telephone book and looked under automobile – sales, and yes, there it was. A Land Rover dealer in a place called Glenwood Springs. She dialed the number and asked to speak to a salesman, and a few minutes passed before some guy named Joe picked up the line.

“I’m looking for a new Defender.”

“Yeah? Who isn’t? What are you looking for?”

“A Defender.”

“Yeah, yeah, but what kind? Three door or five? Inline six or turbo? Pickup bed or not?”

“What do you have in stock?”

“I got a three door with the inline six.”

“Uh, this might seem like a silly question, but do you deliver?”

“Excuse me?”

“And…do you take American Express?”

And three hours later she and Daisy Jane drove into Aspen in her shiny new Defender. This one was kind of slate gray with a white top, and it turned out that Daisy could pee just fine on her new seat, thank you very much.

+++++

Skiing was fun. At least she’d always thought skiing was fun, but then again…she’d never tried skiing alone. As in…by herself, because dogs weren’t allowed on the slopes, and anyway, Daisy was still too young to take up skiing.

But that had been her life in late autumn, and now it was spring. She had cabin fever. So did Daisy. And the idea of calling her dad and going home for a visit seemed a little like admitting defeat, and being in Los Angeles was asking for Trouble. Trouble – with a capital T. Yes, Trouble, because Trouble had come calling, and in the form of little .5 mg tablets. She’d started taking a smaller dose, a .25 mg tab, before heading into town to do her grocery shopping, and who knows, maybe these had worked. At least they had in the beginning. But soon enough she grew tired, then depressed, and then soon enough she was taking a .5 mg tab first thing in the morning and another one in the evening – whether or not she went into Aspen. She slept more, and the fifty pounds she gained after breaking up with William turned into a cool one hundred pounds, and that was before Christmas. Dina and her father came up to ski and after taking one look at her, Ted sent for a personal trainer from the studio to come up and take matters in hand.

The trainer, a hard bodied surfer named Stacy, had probably been a Marine drill sergeant in an earlier life, and by the time she left for LA in late March even Daisy Jane was drinking spinach and kale smoothies for breakfast. Stacy had ferreted out all Deb secret stashes of both Oreos and Xanax and after that Deb couldn’t find a doctor in Colorado willing to write her a prescription for the drug. Period. And she knew, because she’d tried them all. And a few in Utah, too.

And now she was, well, in a word – bored, as in bored out of her mind. And, yes, she was ready to spend some quality time with a someone of the opposite sex. Or even the same sex if the first option didn’t work out. But…William Taylor was…out of the question.

And that left…Henry Taggart.

So she called the studio, talked to one of her dad’s secretary and a few hours later she had a number. And, well, it had been almost four years. At least he’d remember her, right? Wouldn’t he?

She dialed the number. Her stomach started doing cartwheels. Then a few barrel rolls.

“Yello.” The voice even sounded like him.

“Henry?”

“Yo.”

“It’s me. Debra.”

“Sorensen? No shit?”

She laughed. He laughed. It felt good.

“No shit.”

“How are you?” he asked.

“Old and lonely.”

“Lonely? What happened to…? Oh, I probably don’t need to ask that one, do I? Your dad ran him off, right?”

“Pretty much.”

“Damn. I was hoping Bill would finally grow a pair and stand up to him.”

“Everyone has a price.”

“Oh, no. Now that I didn’t see coming.”

“Neither did I. And my guess is neither did Bill.”

“Geez, I’m sorry to hear that. So what’s up?”

“I think I just wanted to hear your voice, know you’re still alive.”

She heard him sigh. “Okay. Try again.”

“What do you mean, try again?”

“I’m not buyin’ it, Sorensen. If you’re gonna lie, at least make it a good one.”

“Damn. I never could fool you.”

“Okay. So…”

“Do you ski?”

“Water, or snow?”

“The white stuff.”

“Not too much these days. Bad knee. Wanna go sailing?”

“Any sharks involved this time?”

“Nope. Unless that includes me.”

“Mind of I bring a friend?”

He hesitated. “I don’t know. Hum a few bars and I’ll see if I can follow along.”

“She’s a Golden Retriever. Her name is Daisy Jane.”

“Ah, a flyin’ me back to Memphis kind of Daisy Jane?” he said, and she could feel his smile through the line.

“How did I know you’d be the only one who’d know that?”

“Because I’m the only person in the world who knows you, kiddo. I mean really deep down knows you.”

“Why do you think I called?”

“I was just wondering what took you so long?”

Vindo

Lake Union, Seattle, Washington                                                 15 April 2002

“Is this yours?” she asked when she saw the boat.

“No, it’s a dealer demonstrator but they charter her out from time to time. So, yeah, I made them an offer they couldn’t refuse and here we are.”

“She’s not like that boat in Papeete, that’s for sure.”

“The Clorox bottle? No, she’s not. Uh, you didn’t happen to bring a life vest for the pup, did you?”

“No, not many places in Aspen for those.”

“Okay, another item for the list.”

“How long did you charter her for?”

“A week. Sorry. Was that presumptuous?”

“Yes. But then again, I was hoping for two weeks.”

He nodded. And then he grinned.

“So, where we headed?”

“Once we head out, or right now?”

“Out there.”

“San Juans. Maybe Friday Harbor, then up to Victoria…assuming you brought your passport.”

“Yup.”

“Puppy chow?”

“Yup, in her suitcase.”

“I shoulda know’d it,” he said, chuckling as he helped her aboard.

+++++

Sitting in the sailboat’s pilot house after dinner, Debra told Henry about the events she’d experienced on 9-11…from falling to waking up and seeing intense auras and even the rather interesting results of her MRIs.

“So, let me get this straight?” Taggart said, “this doc actually comes right out and tells you that, quite possibly, you represent a new species, or sub-species?”

“Yup,” she sighed, gently rubbing Daisy’s belly under the light of a flickering oil lamp. “You know, it’s amazing down here, like a whole other world hiding in plain sight.”

Henry nodded. “Sailboats are weird. They’re like the opposite of a time machine.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. It’s more like they put us in touch with something we’ve lost. We move too fast these days, probably too fast for our own good, but then along comes a sailboat…moving about as fast as ketchup coming out of a bottle. Hell, some people jog faster than most of these things move.”

“Why don’t you have a boat yourself?”

“If you can’t use something almost every day there’s really no point in having it. You don’t own a sailboat, by the way. The boat owns you, and if you can’t get into that kind of relationship with a thing like that you’re probably better off with a puppy.” He smiled at Daisy, then at Debra. “You know, she’s almost as cute as you.”

“I’m not cute, Henry. I’m frumpy.”

He chuckled at that. “Been a rough two years, hasn’t it?”

“I don’t think I’ll ever get over the way Dad manipulated us.”

“Why do you think he did it?”

“Oh, I’m not sure, really. Once I thought it was because William wasn’t Jewish, but that doesn’t make sense. Not really. I thought about it a lot this year and I keep coming back to the idea he doesn’t like to see other people happy.”

Henry nodded. “I know the type.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah. They’re more of them out there than you’d think possible.”

“What makes someone like that?”

Taggart sighed, then took a sip of rum. “I don’t know. Maybe some people are born that way, while others just run up against people they’d like to trade places with, and realize that can never happen…”

“So, like jealousy?”

“Yeah, or maybe something more like envy. It’s a problem as old as mankind, and it’s one of the seven deadly sins with good reason.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, think of things like putting someone down, trying to ruin their reputation, or even finding joy in someone else’s troubles. Everyone from Aristotle to Thomas Aquinas has recognized there’s a big human tendency to do these things, to act like this, so they tried to enact rules to curb the tendency.”

“So it isn’t really a stretch to think Dad did this just to watch us suffer?”

Taggart shrugged again. “I don’t know, Deb. Maybe. Or maybe this is how he treats all people.”

“Doesn’t that sound a little like Hate?” she whispered.

“It sounds a lot like Hate, Deb, but think about all the people you pass out there on the street who walk along with a deep scowl or with a deep frown on their face. Frowns…worry like its been etched in stone by time, frowns that never go away. And I doubt those frowns are grounded in Love, ya know?”

“When I first saw Dad and that other man on the plane their auras were black, but it was worse than that, Henry. Their auras were almost alive. At one point Dad’s aura tried to reach into me, like it was looking for something…”

“Energy.”

“What?”

“It was looking for energy, at least that’s one explanation.”

“You mean you’ve heard of something like this before?”

Henry took another pull from his rum. “Oh, yeah. The Games People Play.”

“What?”

“A book I read once, The Games People Play. Eric Berne, a psychiatrist, wrote it in the 50s, I think, or maybe it was the early 60s. Something called Transactional Analysis, like Freud in a way but he looked at psychopathologies arising out of dysfunctional parent, child, or adult states of mind. Anyway, I took a social psych class and that was one of the texts. The other was this huge comic book, like 400 pages, called the Adventures of Con Man, which, like the titles suggest, lays out all the ways children learn to manipulate their environment. In essence, we learn to con each other at a very early age, and some cons are accepted by society while others aren’t.”

“That sounds cynical…”

Taggart nodded. “I’m pretty cynical. The problem is, I think we’ve all become cynical, and probably because we’ve grown tired of being conned all the time. I mean, really, look around and think about it. We live in a culture that’s absolutely defined by sets of ongoing cons, from selling stuff people don’t need to political parties that promise things we all know they have no intention of doing. Or try ‘Flying the Friendly Skies’ to the City of Brotherly Love on for size. Call it salesmanship if you want to, but we all live out our lives surrounded by an infinite variety of con artists and that’s not all that surprising because from our earliest upbringing we learn to con others to get what we want. Babies don’t usually cry from pain, do they? No, they cry because they want attention, and they want attention because they want something, something they need from someone else. Our humanity is rooted in that con artistry.”

“I was talking about my dad and you said ‘energy’; what did you mean?”

“Yeah. Ever hear of a book called The Celestine Prophecy?”

“I think so. Some kind of adventure story, wasn’t it?”

“Almost, but it builds on the same set of concepts, or in other words, people con because they want or need to steal energy from others. Take ‘drama queens’ and the ‘oh woe is me’ types, or interrogators and other bullies…because this theory says that in the end everyone is out there trying to pull energy from other people. We say things like “oh, it feeds his ego” or “that really brings me down” – but what we’re really referring to are energy states.”

“Energy states? Come on…”

“Sound far-fetched? Well, do you think ‘depression’ is an elevated energy state? Or what about feeling happy, or even being excited about something? Think those are low energy states?”

“No, not really…”

“Yeah, and that’s the problem, Deb. When someone isn’t feeling ‘up’ an easy way to get a boost is to steal someone else’s energy. To, in a sense, con them into giving you some of their own, so when someone does something that makes you feel lousy, watch how they react after they’ve pulled that off. Strutting around a little more? Becoming an even nastier bully? And think about it! All this goes back to our earliest recorded history, and the whole envy thing was such a problem it made it into the ten commandments.”

“What?”

“Yeah, thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wife? Covet is just another word for envy, Deb.”

“So…as far as energy goes…?”

“Those black tendrils reaching into you? My guess is you were actually observing an energy transfer of some kind.”

“Okay, that’s weird, Henry.”

“Hey, it’s just a thought, ya know. Unfortunately I took a bunch of psych classes, so weird comes naturally to me.”

“It kind of makes sense, though.”

“Maybe. But here’s the thing. You are probably in the best position of anyone in human history to validate this, because you can see this stuff in real time.”

“Yeah, okay, but what if I don’t want to?”

Taggart leaned back and smiled. “Who would, Deb? I mean, really, I’m assuming you can’t just flip a switch and turn this off, so going anywhere entails exposing your senses to all this extraneous information…”

“And now everywhere I go I’m going to realize I’m watching nonstop con artistry and there won’t be any way to shut it down, to turn it off…”

“Okay, lets change the topic a little. I’m tossing out some kind of aura right now, right?”

“Yup.”

“And?”

“Cool blue. As in laid back, no anger, just kind of mellow.”

“What about Daisy Jane?”

“Pretty much the same thing all the time with her, except when she needs to go outside or gets hungry…”

“And then what happens?”

“Oh, shit! You’re right. Her color goes from pale blue to cobalt, sometimes with little red flecks inside these spreading tendrils…”

“And where are the tendrils? What are they doing then?”

“Reaching out to me. Oh, Henry…it makes sense now.”

Henry nodded as he looked at his watch, then he sighed. “Well, we need to be up around four to make the tide at Shilshole. And that means we’ll need to make it to the locks before the heavy traffic, so we really ought to hit the hay.”

“Would you mind if Daisy and I stay with you tonight?”

“Ooh, you got to be kidding, right?”

Friday Harbor, Puget Sound, Washington                                     17 April 2002

The Vindo 49 sat on her mooring ball in the fairway between Brown Island and the village of Friday Harbor, and a little Zodiac was tied off her swim platform, adrift in the tidal stream flowing past her stern. Deb was sitting on the lowest step on the platform, her feet dangling in the water, and daisy was sitting beside her – looking intently at a sea otter swimming by. The otter rolled over on its back, revealing a clam in its shell – and the otter took a rock and began pounding on the shell until it broke the shell open. The otter ate the clam nestled inside the shell and Daisy sat up, whimpering at someone else getting something to eat and realizing that someone else wasn’t her! She sat bolt upright and barked once, causing the otter to slip under the waves and disappear.

“Care for some salmon?” Henry asked Deb as he came up the companionway.

“Sure. Is it smoked?”

“I got smoked and some sashimi.”

“Wasabi and soy?”

“You know it, Babe.”

“Any more riesling?”

“Coming up with the next load. Got bagels and cream cheese too, if that sounds good.”

“Better save that for breakfast, if that’s okay?”

“Right,” he said as he disappeared down below again. He came up with a fresh bottle and two glasses and set them out on the cockpit table, then he walked aft to the swim platform. “Okay, chow’s on,” he said. “Need a hand?”

“Yes, could you take her, please?”

“You do know she isn’t exactly a puppy anymore, right? I mean, did you see the size of those turds?”

Deb laughed. “She’s got big feet, that’s for sure.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“She’ll be a big girl when she grows up.”

“Man, I hate to break it to you, but if she grows much more you’ll go broke trying to feed her…”

“So, what’s on the menu tonight?”

“I got some good cheese in that shop, some hummus and olives too.”

“Brie? – and what’s the other one?”

“Emmentaler. I wanted something firm and nutty…”

“Like you, you mean?”

“Oh, am I…firm?”

“Now I know what being saddle sore feels like.”

“Excellent. Damn! I forget the soy…”

“I’ll go down. I need to wash my hands.”

“Okay if I give Daisy some salmon?”

“I feel sorry for you if you don’t…”

“Come here, girl. Want some nice grub for a change?” Daisy sat up but she ignored Henry, and the salmon, instead looking aft to where the sea otter had been. “What is it, girl? Do you feel something out there?”

Daisy’s head tilted to one side and she sniffed the air, her eyes squinting a little as errant breezes woke up long dormant instincts, then she stood and pointed at something behind the boat. Taggart turned and looked – but even though he didn’t see a thing, he was hoping…

After they finished dinner and when the galley had been squared away, Taggart started the engine and cast free of the mooring ball, taking the Vindo outside the harbor first to the east and then south. They made their way to North Bey, just a few hundred yards north of Dinner Island, and he set the anchor in the rocky mud – just where he had last summer on his trip from Vancouver to Seattle on the new Swan. Daisy came up to him, her feathered tail swishing through the air – creating little hurricanes around his ankles – the he bent down to her level and rubbed behind her ears.

“You ready for a walk on the beach?” he said – and that was all it took. She dashed aft and literally dove into the Zodiac.

“You taking Daisy now?” Deb called up from the saloon.

“Yup. Why don’t you slip into that shorty now?”

“Now? The sun’s going down?”

“I know, but there’s someone I want you to meet.”

“In a wetsuit?”

Henry stepped into the inflatable and started the little Yamaha outboard and they puttered over to a rocky beach and Daisy hopped ashore, checking every rock and piece of driftwood for just the perfect place to pee, then she circled twice and dropped a load…

“God damn, Daisy! No more sushi for you!”

She looked crestfallen and turned away.

“Aw, sorry girl. Come here…give us a kiss. I know, I know, mine doesn’t exactly smell like a bed of roses…” They walked up and down the beach for about fifteen minutes, then Henry stepped into the Zodiac and Daisy followed without being asked. “Golly, you are such a good girl,” he said, rubbing her chin as he clipped her collar to a safety line. “Ready to go?”

The moon was coming up beyond Mount Baker and he watched Daisy watching this full moon come up and once again he wondered what kinds of instincts such sights might arouse in her? Where did these instincts reside? Inside a chemical chain on component strands of RNA? After all, she hadn’t been raised by a pack of Golden Retrievers that had somehow passed along such knowledge…no, the information was encoded in the history of the breed and only came into being when Daisy came into being. It was really kind of magical, Henry thought…

And, he wondered, what was being encoded within Debra now? What changes to the species would she engender? The ability to read people by seeing within them? How would that change us, he thought? When you could actually see someone lie to you, or when you could feel genuine love? When layers of deceit could be peeled away in a glance? Everything about us will change, won’t it? When we can read envy or greed or lust as easily as we read a newspaper…what will become of deceit? Will it simply cease to be?

But…

“What happens to us,” he mused out loud, “to people like me who can’t see the world the way she does? How will we survive in that world?”

Daisy turned and looked up at him then, and he saw the sadness in her eyes…like she had understood the nature of his question…and she knew the answers, too.

+++++

“What are we doing back here?”

“Oh, I thought you might like to go for a swim?”

“Are you nuts?” Deb cried. “That water’s like ice!”

“Yup.”

“You said you wanted me to meet someone. Who, for heaven’s sake?”

And as if right on cue the male orca slid up into the moonlight, his face a couple of yards off the Vindo’s stern.

“Oh, no…you’ve got to be kidding…”

“Nope.”

“Is that the same one from…”

“From Bora-Bora, and Catalina too, for that matter.”

“How do you know?”

“I just know,” Henry said as he slipped into the water. “Come on. I want you two to have a little chat…”

“A…what?”

“Just come on in, would you? If you stay close to him the water will be warm enough.”

She slid into the water – but Daisy wasn’t having any of it so she jumped in too – but the orca swept Deb into a kind of embrace and took off with her…leaving Henry and Daisy alone in the water, both looking at Deb as she disappeared into the far reaches of the sound.

+++++

She came back to them a few hours later. Henry took one look at her and dove back into the water, taking her from the male and pulling her over to the swim platform, then hoisting her up on deck. She seemed comatose, or at least completely out of it, as he got her into the cockpit, covering her with blankets then holding her close. She came to slowly, her movements glacial even after her eyes opened. She tried to speak but no words came so he pulled her closer still.

“Deb? Where were you? We couldn’t see you?”

She lifted her hand and pointed to the sky.

“What? What are you trying to say?”

She tried to speak again but her words seemed choked and dry, so he reached for a bottle of water and popped the top, holding the bottle to her lips as she tried to sit up. She took a tentative sip or two then coughed it all out, shaking her head slowly as her body rebelled against her surroundings.

Then her head fell back a little and she seemed confused for a moment.

“Do you know where Sagittarius is?” she whispered.

“The teapot? Yes, that’s it, right over there…” he said, pointing at the center of the Milky Way that was now just coming up over the central Cascades. “The asterism there, the teapot with the steam coming out of the spout? That’s it right there…”

She gasped once and nodded, then she spoke again: “That’s where we were, Henry. All of us. Right there.”

“All of us? Who else was there?”

“I don’t know, but there were two women there, and they were, well, they’re waiting for you.”

Henry heard the orca surface again, then he heard his blowhole open and he exhaled – just before Daisy ran for the rail and leapt into the water…

© 2021-22 adrian leverkühn | abw | adrianleverkühnwrites.com all rights reserved, and as usual this is just a little bit of fiction, pure and simple.

(Thompson Twins \\ Hold me Now)

Forgotten Songs From An Imaginary Life, Chapter 14.2

Music spheres 1

Off we go for the kettle…time for a spot of cardamom tea, if you please…

(Justin Hayward \\ And I Dreamed Last Night)

(Duran Duran  \\ Medazzaland)

Part IV: The Music of the Spheres

Chapter 14.2

Gander OCA, NAT D, Track TOBOR,  Fight Level 410          11 September 2001

Debra Sorensen squinted hard, tried physically pinching her eyes shut, desperately wanting to shut out the senses in this new world, but the more she tried to shut them away the harder it became. And just then her father leaned close and whispered in her ear…

“What is it, Deb? Does it still hurt?”

She shook her head as fingers of blackness reached into her – but the motion produced another concussive round of pressure behind her eyes, then an even more intense kaleidoscopic explosion of splintering light consumed her world. “I think I need to lie down, Daddy.”

“Carol?” her father said, snapping his fingers as he beckoned the woman. “Could you help me, please; maybe get Debra back to my bedroom?”

The flight attendant came and helped her to the little bedroom in the far aft section of the Gulfstream’s passenger cabin, then she helped Deb get settled on the bed, covering her with an ultra soft duvet. “Can I get you something?” Carol asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe a Tylenol, or maybe some water…I don’t know…?”

“I’ll be right back. Just you sit tight…”

“Okay…”

But as soon as Carol left Deb sat up and looked through the open passageway into the main cabin, and to the stranger sitting across from her father. He looked quasi-human but his form was covered by a dull, shimmering blackness…but no, that wasn’t quite right. It was almost like what she’d always imagined an aura might look like, but this thing surrounding the man was pure black, yet it wasn’t like he wasn’t radiating black. No, it was more like he was surrounded by dull black fingers, yet the blackness was attracted to him, like the man was sucking up this stuff, absorbing the goo-like substance right out of the air before spitting it back out…

Then she saw Carol walking her way and her body seemed to be surrounded by intense green and gold bands of pulsing radiation, like these bands were shooting out curly verdigris gouts of arc-like electricity, and the sight was almost too much to bare. She closed her eyes again and tried to turn away from the after-image, but the vision didn’t leave. Instead, the light lingered like towering waves breaking against a seawall, the refracted echoes bouncing off shadows inside of her mind…

“Geesh, Deb, but it looks like you’re in a lot of pain,” Carol said as she closed the door behind her, turning on a small overhead reading reading light as she sat on the edge of the little bed. “Can I see your forehead? I want to check that bandage…”

Deb closed her eyes again and rolled over on her back, and then she felt Carol lifting the bandage and looking around for a while before she pressed the tape back in place.

“Think you can sit up for me?” Carol asked. “Let’s see if you can get this down?”

“What is it?”

“Just two Tylenol and some Pellegrino. By any chance, are you hungry?”

“God no…”

“I didn’t think so. You took quite a hit, kiddo, but apparently the doctor didn’t think you had a concussion.”

“Where are we?”

“I think we just passed St. Johns, like maybe a half hour ago, anyway.”

“Newfoundland? London, right?”

“That’s right. Gordon says we have a pretty good tailwind so we should be there in about five hours. Now, let’s get those pills down and see how you feel in an hour.”

“Right. Thanks.”

“Did it feel better with the lights off?” Carol said, standing to leave.

“I think so, yes.”

“Okay…I’ll close the door, but it might be a little louder that way.”

“I’ll be alright.”

“Hit the call button if you need me,” Carol said as she smiled, then she closed the door behind her…and Deb turned on her side, looking up into the sky on the other side of the glass. Though it was only early afternoon, she closed her eyes and was soon fast asleep – a castaway on a sea of overlapping colors.

+++++

She woke with a start, felt like she was tumbling through the air and her first thought was that the airplane was about to crash…then she lifted her head and felt a little better when she saw a blackish-green landscape passing by beneath the wing. Then Carol came in and helped her out to the main cabin; she got her buckled into a seat behind her father’s then went to her jump seat beside the cockpit door.

She looked out the window again, saw the moon rising behind black, backlit clouds, and the few stars she saw seemed to be hollowed-out balls of ice falling down to a sunless sea…and she wondered again what was happening in her mind now. All the usual noises followed, the flaps extending, the landing gear coming down, then the bluish-white strobes bouncing off the runway threshold just before the little chirping sounds as the tires touched down, kissing the earth in relief. A few minutes of taxiing passed, then men and fuel trucks surrounded the jet as the airstairs came down.

She watched her father stand and recoiled in horror – because he too was surrounded by the same inrushing black aura as the evil looking man – but now she watched both of them deplane, her father not even acknowledging she was still on the airplane as he left – and Carol came back to help her stand and get ready to walk down the stairs.

“Your father is going into the city now. He asked that I help you get to the hotel and settled in.”

And then Deb only nodded as she gathered her thoughts, but she understood. Because her father’d always been like this, yet never quite so intently dismissive as he had been this summer. And in a flash she felt like a discarded prop, like something her father used from time to time, some kind of creature he trotted out in front of people he needed – if only to prove his humanity before moving on. She stood and another explosion of light wracked her brain, then she felt light-headed as she reached up to catch herself on the overhead.

“Oh no, you’re not alright,” Carol said, now clearly alarmed. “Let me go get Gordon. You…sit!”

She sat again and watched Carol walk away and she saw the same green and gold aura, only now it was flecked with blue streamers of sparkling light – then she saw Paul, the co-pilot, as he hurried aft – and his aura was intensely blue, a deep shimmering cobalt color that completely disoriented her. 

Paul saw her eyes roll back in her head and he just got to her as she started to fall…

+++++

“Where am I?” she asked.

“University College Hospital, neurological services,” some sort of – she guessed – technician said. “You’re going to feel a little pinch as I’m starting a line on the left side of your neck just now.”

“What am I doing here?”

“You lost consciousness and were brought in by emergency services. Are you an American?”

“Yes. Guilty on all counts, your honor.”

He smiled – then she saw his aura – a roiling wash of blues and golds. “What happened to you today? Do you remember anything?”

She closed her eyes and turned away from images of airliners smashing into skyscrapers, then she felt echoes of a sharp pain in her forehead before she was falling and falling and now she was laying on a cold steel gurney inside a cold gray room, then she tried to put all that into words. He listened intently, his aura a spinning whirl of intent listening and total disbelief, and then she realized: ‘He must think I’m mad as a hatter…’

“You say you saw an airliner hit the World Trade Center?” the man asked.

“Yes.”

“Where were you?”

“In my fathers jet. We were on the approach to LaGuardia at the time.”

“And then you hit your head?”

“I think I passed out first,” she whispered, “and Carol said I fell after that.”

“Carol?”

“Our flight attendant.”

“That must be nice. And these auras started after that? When you woke up from all that?”

“Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but who are you?”

“Ah, sorry, Justin Holroyd. I’m one of the neurologists on floor duty tonight.”

“So, you’re a doctor?”

“Yes, again, so sorry. I should have told you that.”

“That’s okay.”

“So…what kind of aura do you see around me?”

“It’s gold next to your body, then it goes from emerald to kind of lime green – with red splotches here and there.”

“And you say it shimmers?”

“Not right now. When you came close and started to introduce yourself it changed. Like it went from nervous to calm.”

“Okay,” he said as he swabbed her neck with some sort of alcohol-smelly pad. “Here comes a pinch.”

She felt him insert the IV catheter and get it taped down, and all the while his aura changed, depending on what he was doing second to second.

“You did well, considering,” he said reassuringly. “You’re not bothered by small enclosed spaces, are you?”

“No, not really.”

“If you are we can sedate you a bit. Just let me know.”

“Excuse me, but are you nervous right now?”

“I am, yes. Can you see that?”

“I think so, yes. Why are you nervous?”

“I’m not sure. What do you see?”

“The red splotches are getting bigger now, and they’re very active.”

“Fascinating.”

“Not really. It’s actually very disconcerting.”

“Disconcerting? How so?”

“I’ve been nauseated since all this started, and it almost feels like I imagined vertigo might feel. But putting that together with all these other changes is really weird.”

She saw him writing notes then he looked up at her and smiled. “Okay, I’ll be in that little room over there. Just speak up if you feel claustrophobia coming on. This should only take a few minutes.”

+++++

She woke up inside reeling darkness. She needed to pee so bad it hurt – but when she sat up in bed the room started spinning, the kaleidoscopic pulsing started beating in her head again and she almost passed out from some sort over sensory overload. Alarms started pinging at the nurses station and several came rushing into her room – but when they saw the girl they came crashing to a stop…

“What the fuck!” one of the nurses cried. “Do you see that?”…

And everyone did, because the girl’s body was glowing brightly, and yet it appeared as if the light was coming from inside her body. Worse still, the glow was pulsing through a disjointed spectrum of colored light – from pinkish-amber one moment to blue-green the next…and it seemed as if the light was cycling between these two distinct phases of light over and over again.

“Is Dr. Holroyd still here?” the charge nurse whispered to an assistant.

“I think so. Maybe in the lounge?”

“Go…get him…quick…”

Holroyd was wiping sleep from his eyes when he walked into Deb Sorensen’s room, but after looking at her pulsing body – soon almost in a state of shock – for a moment, he rushed to her bed and grabbed her wrist…

And as soon as he touched her the pulsing light simply stopped. Completely.

“Fucking-Hell,” he muttered.

“Do you have any idea what that was?” the charge nurse said as she stepped closer to the bed.

“I have no fucking idea,” Holroyd sighed. “Was she like this when you came in?”

“Uh, excuse me,” Deb said, trying to sit up again as she spoke, “but I really need to pee?”

“Yeah?” Holroyd growled. “Well, join the club.” 

National Hospital, Queen Square, London                                             13 September 2001

Justin Holroyd was standing before a large screen, and several sections from an MRI of a human brain were on the display. A dozen neurologists and neurosurgeons were gathered around a fake wood table in a small conference room, and all were staring intently at the images on the screen.

“Just for reference, here’s an image from a normal optic tract within the brain, showing both lateral geniculate nucleus pairs, and here’s the image from Sorensen’s MRI on admission.” Using a green laser pointer, Holroyd pointed to the area of concern: “As you can see just here,” he continued, taking time to let the image sink in, “there is an additional lobe on each nucleus, bilaterally symmetrical I might add – and as I think you can readily see. Additionally, there are no tumor markers in the patient’s chemistries, not on admission and not as of this morning, and this is just an opinion but I doubt any sort of known lesion would manifest with such perfect symmetry. Additionally, there appears to be no additional vascularization around these nuclei.”

“So, what you’re telling us, Dr. Holroyd, is that we’re looking at some sort of naturally occurring structure? A mutation, perhaps?”

“We’ve performed two F-MRIs and these additional structures light up like a Christmas tree when the patient observes these so-called auras she reports experiencing when she watches people…”

“What about encephalographic studies,” one of the senior neurologists present asked.

“Yes, I’ve completed two to date. We ran a frequency domain analysis on the first run, with both linear prediction and component analysis on the second. Same conclusion, I’m afraid. Massive SNR on aura initiation, as well, almost an overload state with peak waveforms off the scale. If you get five or more people in a room with her she does in fact go into what appears to be a neuro-chemical overload of unknown etiology, and, well, I’ve never seen anything quite like it.”

“I dare say no one has, Holroyd,” the Head of Service stated. “Needless to say, the physical manifestations are completely without precedent, yet the implications of these visual phenomena are staggering…”

“You mentioned a mutation?” one of the surgeons asked. “What about reversion analysis and sequencing? Have you considered these?”

Holroyd sniffed once and rubbed the tip of his nose. “Indeed so, yes. I’ve asked Lucille St Cloud from Cambridge to come down for a consult.”

There were murmurs and nods of approval all around the table on hearing that.

“What about the patient?” the surgeon continued. “Is she in discomfort? What happens during these swarms?”

“She reports anxiety, almost like being overwhelmed with cascading stimuli, but otherwise she reports no pain.”

“Remarkable,” the surgeon muttered. “What about removal of the additional nuclei?”

“And what if these are normal structures?” Holroyd countered. “What might that do to…”

“Normal?” the surgeon cried. “Are you listening to yourself, Holroyd? If these structures are normal, well then, well, then she represents a new species, doesn’t she?”

And unseen by anyone in the room, a tiny blue mote pulsed once before it disappeared from the conference room.

+++++

“Dad, can we go home?”

“They still don’t know what’s causing all this, Debra…so I’m not sure we should even…”

“They aren’t going to find anything, Dad.”

“How do you know that, Debra?”

As she watched her father intently, the shimmering black swarm around him grew more opaque, almost more dense, and swirling vortices of energy seemed to appear around him, and she thought they looked a little like those vast loops of coronal matter that occasionally are spotted vaulting up from the sun’s surface, only these flared then abruptly withdrew back inside her father, and she squinted hard and turned away from the sight.

“Is it happening again?” he asked – and she thought suspiciously.

“No, it’s just a headache. I’ll be alright in a minute.” She was learning, day by day, to tune out the extraneous material in this new world, to focus on the people around her she thought she most needed to pay attention to, and she considered it was a little like her brain was trying to come to grips with an entirely new set of sensory skills. Like learning to ride a bicycle, whatever was happening to her wouldn’t come to her naturally, at least her mind hadn’t reacted like it was normal, so she was beginning to think it would just take time to come to terms with all this new stuff…

“Why do I get the feeling you’re not telling me everything?” her father added – and she watched dark vortices reach out for her…almost like the tentacles had come from inside him, the grasping claws of some kind of energy absorbing beast – and she wanted to turn away from the smooth coercion in his voice. “Deb? What’s happening? Why won’t you tell me?” A tentacle reached her and she felt her Will retreat – and she realized she was watching the physical manifestations of what amounted to a kind of psychological assault. She was supposed to trust her father, wasn’t she? So…why did she feel this way now? Had he…had he always been like this?

“Dad? Go find that doctor. Tell him I want to go home.” She watched his tentacles retreat, but she felt like he was pulling energy from her body and feeding his own as he did, and the idea was nauseating – yet she was watching it as it happened and the sensation was impossible to ignore!

“Okay, okay. I’ll see if I can find him…”

“I want to talk to him, Father,” she said, a deep force like anger emanating from within as she spoke, and she watched his tentacles wither then retreat inside his body, and for a moment his aura shifted to a deep cobalt color before the miasma of his suffocating darkness returned.

When Holroyd appeared his aura was blue-green, but when she asked to be discharged it changed to orange with dancing yellow fringes. “We still haven’t nailed down any kind of diagnosis, Debra. I think it’s too soon to talk about going home yet.” 

“Am I physically ill, doctor?”

“We’re not really sure what the issue is.” The orange shifted to red, and in an instant little sparklers of anger appeared.

“Then you have no idea if or even whether you can offer any kind of treatment? Is that about where we stand?”

The red began to shift to a deeper crimson, only now she saw black flecks appear. “I’m not sure where you’re going with this, Debra.”

“Going? I want to go home, and unless you have some kind of proof that my doing so would constitute a danger to myself or others, I’m not sure you have any right to prevent my leaving.”

His aura went from crimson to almost pure black, but almost as quickly it receded into the cool blue eddies he normally exhibited. “Yeah, well, that’s probably true, but that’s not the whole truth. You see, the thing is, well, I think you’re cute and I was kind of hoping we might, you know…”

His aura danced between cool blue and pink now. He wasn’t being disingenuous, he was being truthful…and she could actually see the transformation as it happened…

“…maybe go out to dinner once you get out of here…”

“Dr. Holroyd? Are you asking me out on a date?”

“Well, yes, I mean, if you wouldn’t mind…”

His aura went reached up into the red spectrum pretty quickly, but then fell back to the blues…

“No, I wouldn’t mind.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

“So. Do you like Indian?”

“I do if you do.”

He nodded. “So, California? Is that home?”

She nodded.

“Are you…watching me now? I mean, like my aura?”

“I can’t turn it off, Justin.”

“So, you can see…”

“I can, yes.”

“Oh, dear.”

“Yes, sorry.”

“No way to lie around you, is there?”

She shook her head slowly.

“You know what’s behind this, don’t you?” he asked.

She nodded and grinned.

“And you’re not going to tell me, are you?”

“Not yet.”

“Do you have any idea why it just started? Why you haven’t always seen the world this way?”

“No, not really, unless it had something to do with hitting me head…”

“Or seeing what you’d just seen?”

“What do you mean?”

“The airliner…all those people…”

She looked away, seeing that moment play out again, and then she saw all that human disbelief shrieking through the air before the building was enveloped in blackness. “That’s probably true,” she sighed. “Now, could you help me get dressed, please? I want to go home now.”

© 2021-22 adrian leverkühn | abw | adrianleverkühnwrites.com all rights reserved, and as usual this is just a little bit of fiction, pure and simple.

(Sting \\ It’s Probably Me)

Forgotten Songs From An Imaginary Life, Chapter 14.1

Music spheres 1

Okay, here she be. The last part of the last story before we move back into The Eighty-Eighth Key, and to the conclusion of “that part of the story.” Some important elements coming on fast now, and a few might even be a surprise. In the meantime, you might want to have a cup of tea at the ready. This part, the fourth part of ‘Forgotten Songs’, will take a while to get out to you, probably another six or seven sub-chapters, and I’ll try to keep them fairly short so as not to bore you too much. I still recommend cardamom tea…

And do please pay at least a little attention to the music, okay?

(Justin Hayward \\ Forever Autumn)

(The Beatles \\ Blackbird)

Part IV: The Music of the Spheres

Chapter 14.1

San Francisco, California           9 September 2001

Ted Sorensen examined the sliver of lime swirling round and round inside his glass of San Pellegrino and he smiled at the juxtaposition of expectation and satisfaction, perhaps because he felt a sense of serenity, almost even a gentle calm. He was in San Francisco again, this time at Candlestick Park, ostensibly to see the Forty Niners play the Atlanta Falcons, and Debra was with him, now with a pair of Steiner binoculars up to her face, and she was watching William Taylor down on the field. Taylor had literally broken through the line and run down Falcons quarterback Chris Chandler as he dropped back to pass, and Sorensen heard the roar of the crowd and looked at Taylor beating his chest down there on the field. He watched Debra jump up and cheer and, quite perversely, he smiled at her lingering enthusiasm for the boy. Still, he had plans for her, and now it was time to set one part of his plan into motion.

He turned back to his glass and watched bubbles form and rise to the surface…then disappear when one by one they hit normal atmospheric pressure – when their time was up – and he looked up at all the people around him in this lavish owner’s suite, then he imagined he was looking into the eyes of the faces of the sixty-six thousand deranged souls dressed in red and gold just below, crammed together in these stuffy, horrid smelling stands, screaming for sweating jocks as they knocked each other to the ground, before these jerks started strutting around like amped-up gorillas. What kind of people enjoyed this shit, he wondered. They were somehow considered normal, but really, were they? Maybe nothing really ever changed, not since gladiators fought for the emperor’s pleasure in ancient Rome, but…did all that really matter anymore? Everything was meaningless money changing hands, now as it probably was then, yet putting a kid like William Taylor up on a pedestal seemed the height of idiocy. Yet this society worshipped kids like Taylor, while not one could name even one of the many brilliant transplant surgeons performing real miracles all around the country – every day. What was wrong with this picture? Had it always been this way? Yeah, he said to himself, it probably had been…

He looked at Taylor now, watched him walk back to the defensive huddle, then Sorensen leaned forward in his chair as Taylor lined up almost right over the center. On the snap the two lines slammed together in a concussive shock he could feel, yet Taylor slid through an opening and tackled the ball carrier behind the line of scrimmage, resulting in another loss of yards for the Falcons, who now had to punt. And once again…the crowd went wild, only now most began chanting “TAY-LOR, TAY-LOR”…so loudly his ears began to hurt.

Yet Taylor stayed on the field, working special teams this season as well as middle linebacker, and when the ball was snapped Taylor broke through the line again and made it deep into the backfield, but then he blocked the kick. He rolled once and came up with the ball and ran it twenty four yards into the Falcon’s end zone, scoring a touchdown – and his teammates swarmed all over him as he carried the ball to the bench, determined to keep it in a special place for the rest of his life. Very few players managed to do what he’d just done, and even the coach came over and slapped his ass.

And yet as Taylor sat on the bench to catch his breath all he could think about was his little brother Frank, and how much he would have enjoyed looking on from the stands. William had invited his parents, of course, but they’d begged off, had other things to do – and that was that. Maybe he would have tried to find a way to say hello to Debra – had he known she was at the game. But he didn’t. Because that wasn’t part of Sorensen’s plan. Not yet, anyway.

So Ted got up and walked over to the little buffet the owners enjoyed, and as he had a plate of prime rib and crab prepared he listened to the crowd as they continued chanting William Taylor’s name. Even Debra had gotten into the spirit and was jumping up and down, clapping her hands like some kind of love-addled teenager. She was still naive enough to think that love lasted for more than a few minutes, and he shook his head as he took his plate and walked back to their table, watching Taylor on the sidelines as his teammates came up and congratulated him.

And a week from now, Sorensen sighed, no one would remember any of this. Pointless. And so much money wasted here in so many misplaced emotions.

“What a waste,” he said to no one in particular.

“What’s a waste, Daddy?” Debra said, smiling quizzically his way.

“Oh, you know…prime rib without creamed spinach,” he lied, returning her smile with a twisting grin all his own. “But that’s life in the big leagues, I guess.”

He watched Debra watching William Taylor and a part of him really didn’t understand what the attraction was between the two of them. William was the exact opposite of her, physically at least, but even emotionally and perhaps intellectually as well. She’d never been interested in sports, not even at Harvard Westlake, when participation had been required…so to end up dating an überJock had come as a surprise. And while she’d never expressed any interest in the movie business he’d made sure she took the classes she’d need to function at the studio, and in that she was once again the exact opposite of William Taylor. And she’d been going on and on about astronomy for two years now, to the point she’d taken enough courses in the subject to declare it as her “minor” area of study. She’d earned her degree in economics but had no interest in further study in the field – yet when her father suggested she look into graduate study in astronomy she had jumped into action. Again, the opposite of Taylor. He was a pointless dullard, a waste of flesh and oxygen…

But now he was concerned about Debra and her listless wanderings. He’d not counting on her depression, but looking back maybe he should have. But…there was astronomy. And she talked about the subject with real interest…so he had called his “step-mother” Deborah Eisenstadt and sought her advice and counsel…

“Bring her to Boston. Let me sit down with her and discuss the matter, and I will assess the state if her practical knowledge.”

So…after the Forty Niners beat the Falcons – in “Sudden Death” overtime, for heaven’s sake – they had driven the short distance to SFO and boarded the Gulfstream.

“Will we be home in time for Letterman?” she asked as the little jet taxied to the runway.

“No, I’m afraid not. I’ve got to go to Boston tomorrow, and then New York on Tuesday, and I’d like you to come along.”

“Oh? Okay, sounds fun.”

“Fun. Yes indeed, fun,” he said, grinning.

Boston, Massachusetts                                                      10 September 2001

After his father’s death, now several years ago, Ted Sorensen’s stepmother, the physicist Deborah Eisenstadt, had emigrated to the United States to take a position at MIT. She was old now yet her mind was as sharp today as it ever had been, but recently she had been preoccupied with a new problem.

After that impetuous pianist from Harvard, the curiously named Liz Bullitt, had demonstrated her ability to bend the rules of time by manipulating acoustic harmonic structures just last week, she had been lost in thought. What was limiting these travels to observations only? Why couldn’t the girl interact with elements in the past. What good was moving through time to simply observe events that had already happened? For historians the appeal might be obvious, but the more obvious concern, at least to Eisenstadt, was the possibility of actual interaction occurring.  She understood the obvious concerns surrounding the so-called “paradox of time travel” too, and while the idea bothered her it did so secondarily. 

If this girl, or even this teacher of hers, this homicide detective in San Francisco, could time travel, what might happen if either or both of them stumbled upon a way to actually manipulate events in the past? And like ripples spreading across a pond, Eisenstadt understood that it was only a matter of time before others became aware of their ability. Others with more resources would begin to study the matter, and, again, it would simply be a matter of time before some other group began to manipulate time to their own design.

So Eisenstadt’s first concern was to study the matter…to see if such a breakthrough was even possible. If she found such a move was theoretically not possible she could relax…yet if she found a way past this limitation then she knew it would be possible for others to exploit this breakthrough…and then the nature of time itself, indeed, the very fabric of the universe could possibly be under assault. 

And this she had to stop.

She came in from her first class of the day, an introductory class in quantum mechanics, and looked at her calendar, then her shoulders drooped and she sighed. Ted was coming by for another chat about estate matters, and he’d indicated that Debra might be coming along, so if she was interested in graduate work in astronomy, then…

Astronomy? Debra? She scoffed at the idea, if only because Debra had always appeared to be an intellectual lightweight, yet she had graduated Magna Cum Laude from USC and had taken a minor in astronomy…so maybe she’d been wrong about the girl. She had to consider that Ted was serious when he’d mentioned bringing Deb along for an evaluation of sorts. But what did he expect in return?

Because, she knew with Ted there was always a price to be paid, a toll exacted. Yet…wasn’t she the one performing the favor? ‘Ah…he is expecting my help, to get her into MIT…’ she thought, sighing at the thought.

The department secretary buzzed her on the intercom, announced that the Sorensens were waiting and ready to see her when she was free, and she told her to send them in…

+++++

“You’ll pardon me for saying so, Deborah,” Ted began as he sat across from Eisenstadt, “but you look troubled. Is everything alright?”

“Actually, no. A colleague of mine,” she began, but then she stopped and seemed to consider how best to proceed. “Well, perhaps you may have read about the matter in the papers, but a friend of mine here in the department climbed the Matterhorn over the summer – and his party met with tragedy. Two of his closest friends fell to their death and he has been particularly troubled since his return. I just stopped by his office and spoke with him, so excuse me if I seem burdened.”

Debra spoke first: “Yes, I think I read about the accident. Sounds ghastly, and I can only imagine how he must feel.”

Ted shrugged. “Risky business, climbing. Did I read he’s only got one leg?”

“That’s correct, Ted,” Eisenstadt said. 

“I also read he started a company to make climbing gear for amputees. Smart. He probably picked up a fair amount of publicity, needless to say.” Eisenstadt blinked through her ‘Coke bottle’ glasses, and Ted was struck once again how much like an owl she looked when she blinked like that. “Of course, it was a horrible tragedy,” he added…after he saw the look on her wizened face.

“What can I do for you, Ted?” Eisenstadt said, as ever finding this so-called step-son of hers as reprehensible as ever.

“I wanted to make a sizable donation to the Jewish Home for the Aged, and I’ll need your signature to draw from the trust and I wanted to clear it with you before someone from Northern Trust called you.”

He could have done this with a call, so the only reason he was here had to concern his daughter. So…this matter was important to him, but why? “Of course. I’d be most happy to do so. Now Deborah, I see that you took a minor in astronomy? Are you interested in further study in this area?”

Debra looked at her father, then at Eisenstadt. “I am, yes,” she said, perhaps a little too defiantly. Rebelliously, no?

“Have you given graduate studies much thought?” Debra looked away, then looked at her father again, and that was really all Eisenstadt needed to know. “Ted? Why don’t you leave Debra with me for a while?”

“Certainly. Have your secretary call this number when you finish up.”

Eisenstadt waited for Ted to leave, then she came around and sat next to Deb. “I don’t think we’ve had a chance to speak since the funeral. How are you doing, Debra?”

Maybe it was Eisenstadt’s warm voice, her obvious caring, but whatever it was she couldn’t help herself anymore and the dam broke. All the anguish she felt about her father’s overt control over her life came to the fore and she started crying. Eisenstadt put an arm around the girl and let it all come out…the things she had felt after her father engineered William Taylor’s exit from her life and the way he had taken direct control over everything she did in the aftermath. She’d withdrawn from life after graduation. She’d stopped running and started eating self-destructively. She’d gained sixty pounds and now she really hated herself, hated her life and hated William for walking away from their life together…

Debra laid it all out there, so Eisenstadt listened, and closely, too.

“So,” Eisenstadt sighed. “Tell me about astronomy. This is a sincere interest?”

“Actually, it is. I’d just never accepted this was something my father would ever let me do.”

“Let you do?”

“Yes?”

“My goodness, you speak as if he owns you. What keeps you from simply stepping out from behind his shadow, from moving out of his house and beyond his control…?”

“Deborah…he has me followed, everywhere I go. I can’t go to the grocery store without a security detail shadowing my every move.”

“Are these men here, even now?”

Debra shrugged. “I have no idea. If they’re good you don’t know they’re around.”

“Dear God.”

Debra cried softly now, and Eisenstadt handed her a tissue. “So, what is it about astronomy that interests you?”

Debra threw the tissue away and looked at Eisenstadt: “I know this might sound trite, but globular clusters. The first time I saw one of those Hubble pictures I wanted to know everything about them.”

“Clusters? Really? Interesting. That is Gene Sherman’s area of expertise.”

“Who?”

“My friend, from the Matterhorn climb this summer…”

“Oh. I didn’t know that.”

She went back to her desk and looked up his extension and called him. “Gene? Could you drop by my office? I have a young astronomer from USC here, and she’s interested in your clusters…”

Sherman knocked on her door a few minutes later and she told him to “Come on in!”

“Gene, this is my step daughter, Debra, and she minored in astronomy at USC. I’ve just gone over her transcripts and she’s a solid student.”

Sherman squinted and took the offered documents then looked them over. “Have you taken the GREs?” he asked.

“Yessir. The score is there, on the bottom right.”

His eyes shifted and then he whistled. “So, two years of calculus, and you took both quantum mechanics and celestial mechanics from Bars?”

“I did, yes.”

“A+ in both, too, and I know he grades tough. Well done you.”

“Thank you.”

“So, you’re into globs? What got you?”

“We went up to Lick when I was in high school, and I got a peek at M13 through the…”

“Through the 20 inch?”

“Yessir. Why?”

“That’s what got me, too. They’d just collimated the main cell and the view was surreal.”

Debra beamed, because she’d finally found someone who understood. “At Lick?” she asked.

“Yeah. Helluva piece of glass, ain’t it?”

“Oh, yessir. I could have looked at her all night. I’m just curious, but did you see the pulsing in the Sagittarius cluster this summer?”

Sherman stiffened, but he nodded. “Yes. I was on the mountain at the time so I didn’t really get a chance to…”

“I recorded it. Almost all of it,” Debra blurted out.

“You what?”

“I recorded it, from the roof of our house. With the new 9.25 inch Celestron astrograph, and on a German equatorial mount. I recorded direct to a hard drive with an electronic eyepiece.”

“You have the raw data?”

“Yessir.”

“Uh, Dr. Eisenstadt, I called the, uh, the number you gave me. We’re having dinner this evening. Uh, Debra, what are your plans today?”

“Nothing until this evening.”

“Well, maybe the three of us could go grab a bite to eat. I assume you’ll be applying to enter for the winter term?”

Debra shrugged. “I haven’t decided on a course of action just yet, sir.”

“I see. I’m just curious so tell me if I’m out of bounds here, but why not?”

“It’s complicated,” Eisenstadt said, “but I’m free for lunch. Debra, why don’t you call your father and see if he’d mind if we borrow you for a few hours. I think we need to drive out to Haystack, don’t you, Gene?”

“To the radio astronomy center?” Debra cried. “Ooh–yeah! That’d be cool!”

+++++

Ted didn’t have a problem with that, not at all.

As a matter of fact, he was counting on it. 

Because this afternoon he was meeting with several mass media consultants, discussing a project he’d had on the back burner for a while. He had, in fact, been purchasing small, independent television stations all over the midwest over the past few years, and he’d recently purchased several small stations in the Portland, Oregon and Puget Sound areas. The first group he was meeting with today would recommend which stations in the Boston and upper New England areas to acquire, while the second meeting later this afternoon would look at stations from the Mid-Atlantic and Deep South regions. If all went according to plan, by this time next week he would own a coast-to-coast network of unaffiliated television stations whose net value was, comparatively speaking, next to nothing.

And a year from now he’d be in charge of a massive unified network broadcasting evangelical programming 24/7, and within five years his new American Eagle Network would be hosting hard right wing opinion shows, and the network’s specialty would be the most divisive fear mongering anyone had ever dared put on the public airwaves.

New York City, New York                                                      11 September 2001

The Gulfstream’s pilot was on the intercom just now, describing their approach into New York City. “We’re passing the Verrazano Narrows Bridge now, turning north to go up the Hudson. We’ve been cleared to land at LaGuardia and we’ll have a great view of the city off to the right as we fly upriver. It’s eight forty five now, and we expect to be on the ground in five minutes, so Carol, make sure the doors are clear and that everyone’s ready to land.”

Carol Lindstrom, the Gulfstream’s lone flight attendant, checked that the main airstair was clear and armed, then she walked down the aisle to check on Mr. Sorensen and his daughter, They were both sitting on the right side of the aircraft now, both staring intently out the window as the jet came  up on the skyline…

“Dad? Did you see that?”

“Yes., it looked like…oh, shit!”

Sorensen got out of his seat and ran to the cockpit, and thank goodness the door was still open.

“Gordon! An American 767 just hit the North Tower!”

“Sir?” Gordon Gabbert said. “Did you say the North Tower?” Gabbert had been Sorensen’s pilot for almost ten years now, and he knew The Boss would never say anything like this unless it was real.

“Yup. Deb saw it too.”

“LaGuardia Approach, this is Gulfstream Two Two Bravo, we’ve observed an American 767 impacting the North Tower of the World Trade Center.”

“Ok Two Two Bravo, will relay information and you are cleared to land runway one three, report any other information to tower on one eighteen seven, maintain three three hundred to the turn, and good day.”

“Eighteen seven and three three double-oh to the turn. Two Two Bravo.” Gabbert turned to Sorensen then. “You’d better get belted in, sir. Hard right turn in about thirty seconds, then that steep approach.”

“Got it.”

When Ted got back to his seat Debra seemed pale, almost in shock, so he sat across the aisle from her and held her hand in his. Her skin was cold and clammy and he shook his head as he remembered…

“Daddy?” she cried. “Was that real?”

“I saw the same thing you did, honey,” he said gently, “and it looked pretty real to me.”

“Oh, Daddy, how many people…” she tried to say, but then she literally passed out. Her body slumped over just as the Gulfstream banked hard right, and her head slammed against the window and the padded cabin wall. When she came to she was bleeding badly from a small laceration over her right eye, but Sorensen couldn’t see it from his angle. 

But Carol did, and she grabbed a gauze pad from the first aid kit and dashed to Debra’s side, putting a makeshift compress over the wound and holding it there while the jet landed – and Ted saw the look of real concern in Carol’s eyes – and he wondered where such people found their reserves of humanity even while images of the airliner slamming into the side of the North Tower reeled inside his mind’s eye.

It couldn’t have been an accident, not at that speed and most especially not at that altitude.

Then his mind went back to the mid-90s. Islamic groups aligned with some kind of radical cleric had parked a truck bomb in the basement parking garage of one of the towers. And that rich Saudi radical, the one behind the embassy attacks in Kenya and Tanzania, had been reported to be planning some kind of attack on the US. But why?

Oh yes. When Bush had been running for president in ’99 and 2000 he’d come out against a two state solution to the Palestinian “troubles” and a lot of foreign policy pundits had been warning of reprisals ever since. The warning lights had started blinking red over the summer, and even network news reported that W had been apprised of the heightened potential for an attack. Well, it looked like they were right, and W was wrong. Again.

The Gulfstream taxied over to the GA ramp on the west side of the airport and Carol ran up to the cockpit to get Gordon to call for an ambulance, and when he’d done that he came back to see what had happened.

“She passed out,” Carol said, “right when we made that last turn onto final.”

“She passed out?” Gabbert asked. “What happened?”

“She saw the impact,” Ted sighed. “I did too. It was awful.”

“We could see the smoke from the cockpit when we pulled in here. Heavy black smoke, so lots of jet fuel involved.”

“Gordon!” the co-pilot cried. “There’s another incoming report. Newark Tower reports a United 767 hit the South Tower!”

Ted felt his heart beating harder, and he also felt an impossible anger welling up deep inside as he turned to his chief pilot. “Gordon, make sure our fuel is topped off. Carol? You ride to the hospital with Deb and get her back out here to the aircraft as soon as you can. Gordon, see about filing a flight plan for London, or maybe Copenhagen. I’m not sure what’s going on, but this may not be the safest place to be right now.”

The co-pilot called out again: “Mr. Sorensen, it looks like your limo is here.”

“Thanks, Paul,” he replied before turning to his crew: “Any questions?”

Both shook their head.

Paul Bartok was extending the airstairs now, and when the locking mechanism clicked into place Ted ran down to the waiting Mercedes and disappeared into the city. An ambulance pulled up moments later and EMTs rushed aboard; they decided to carry Deb to a nearby Urgent Care facility, leaving Gordon to file a flight plan for London Stansted and to get the aircraft refueled. By the time airspace over the continental United States was closed two hours later, the Gulfstream was already wheels up and outside of the continental ADIZ, the Air Defense Identification Zone, paralleling the Massachusetts coastline while climbing for forty-one thousand feet.

Only now there was an additional passenger onboard.

And Carol thought he was the most dangerous looking human being she had ever seen in her life.

© 2021-22 adrian leverkühn | abw | adrianleverkühnwrites.com all rights reserved, and as usual this is just a little bit of fiction, pure and simple.

(Civil Twilight \\ Letters From The Sky)

And if you don’t pay attention to the lyrics on this one you’ll be missing something…interesting.

Forgotten Songs From An Imaginary Life, Chapter 13.7

A Housee no windows

A very short sub-chapter today, and this is the last chapter in Part III. Part IV, The Music of the Spheres, will also be the last part in this story, and will begin early next week.

Tears For Fears \\ Stay

Part III: The House With No Windows

Chapter 13.7

Venice Beach, California                                           24 December 1999

William walked up to the door of the little bungalow on the boardwalk in Venice Beach and looked in the door, There was no furniture inside now, nothing, not even a coffee maker on the kitchen counter. Everything had been packed up and cleared out – in a little over 24 hours; now a For Sale sign was posted out front. Debra had not been at LAX to pick him up, and…she wasn’t here, either.

He walked down to a bench on the boardwalk and sat down, looked at the bikini-clad girls on rollerblades and the guys pumping iron in their many-colored Speedos and his world hardly made sense anymore. Snow and twenty below just a short airplane ride away…and now, here? People were cooking burgers on grills on their front patios, looking at the setting sun with frozen margaritas in hand. So many happy people, so many happy illusions.

And lost in such thought he saw a shiny black Porsche Carrera pull into the parking place behind the bungalow, and a moment later Ted Sorensen stepped out and walked along side of the house right up to him, and without asking or any other sort of preamble he simply sat down beside him.

“Bad day, William?”

“I reckon so, but then again I guess you know that already. This was all your doing, I reckon?”

“Of course.”

“You hate me that much, huh?”

“Not at all, Leonidas. I’m simply protecting what belongs to me – my interests, you might say.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Alright.”

“Where’s Deb?”

“Someplace where she can think for a while. She’s very confused right now.”

“I can only imagine. Is this what she wanted?”

“Oh…no. No, as a matter of fact I think she’s quite angry with me.”

“So? Why did you do it?”

“I will not be deposed, Leonidas. Not again. But you know the old saying…keep your friends close, and your enemies closer still?”

“I’ve heard that before, yes.”

“Well, I think right now you fall into the latter category. So, I’m going to keep you closer still.”

“Why do you think I’m your enemy?”

“Memory is a strange thing, Leonidas. What did Mann say? Deep is the well of the past…so deep that may we not call it bottomless?”

“I’m not sure I follow you.”

“Good.”

“Good?” William sighed. “Is there anything else you wanted to gloat over, Ted?”

“Holy shit, Bill. You finally called me Ted. I am fucking impressed.”

“I’m so glad.”

“Well, let me come to the point. When the NFL draft comes along this winter the Forty Niners are going to take you in the seventh round. They’re going to try to sign you for ten million, but if I were you I’d hold out for fifteen. Your worth it.”

“I guess I should ask how you know that, but I assume it really doesn’t matter, does it?”

“No, it doesn’t, not really, but for your information only I now hold a significant ownership position in the team.”

“Of course you do. That makes sense.”

“Glad you approve. Next, when you finish playing football you’ll have a position waiting for you at the studio.” Sorensen reached into his coat pocket and pulled out an envelope and handed it to Taylor. “This is the contract, if you chose to exercise the provisions. Oh, the title and all the other paperwork for that Porsche is in there, too. It’s yours now, if you want it.”

Taylor looked at Sorensen and sighed. “So, that’s it? The payoff? Is that what you call it?”

“Oh, you could look at it like that, but Bill, I prefer to think at you as an investment, a long term investment, and my terms are simple. You stay away from Debra for now, period. And don’t try to get in touch with her without talking to me first. And in exchange for that, Bill, you’re going to get to lead the kind of life that most of the people in this city can only dream of.”

“Simple? You really think this is simple?”

“You don’t really need to concern yourself with what I think, Bill. You can either accept the terms of the offer, or not.”

“And if I don’t?”

“Of course, if that’s your choice, but I’d rather not talk about that. Oh, I had a call from your father. Frank has been in an accident of some kind and he’d like you to call as soon as you can.”

“What? Is it serious?”

“He didn’t say, Bill.”

“Jesus. Uh, look, I have Debra’s purse. I didn’t have any money for a…”

“In the envelope, Bill. There’s an American Express Black Card. No credit limit and I’ll pay the bills until you start with the Forty Niners, so stop worrying about money, okay? Like I said, I consider you a long term investment, and I take care of my investments, alright?”

And with a cool grin, Ted held out his hand.

William Taylor took a long hard look at the extended hand, then he took it.

On the flight back up to Montana he considered that moment over and over as he looked out the window. How cold Sorensen’s flesh had felt in his hand, and how cold his eyes were. Hard and cold – and almost black, a little like a sharks. Or Satan’s, as his mother would no doubt say.

He shook his head, and he wondered how Frank was doing – as Ted’s Gulfstream descended through snow filled clouds on its approach to Billings.

© 2021-22 adrian leverkühn | abw | adrianleverkühnwrites.com all rights reserved, and as usual this is just a little bit of fiction, pure and simple.

Spandau Ballet \\ True

Forgotten Songs From An Imaginary Life, Chapter 13.6

A Housee no windows

Setting the stage now…for a little beach music.

(Yes\\And You And I)

Part III: The House With No Windows

Chapter 13.6

Beverly Hills, California                                              August 1999

“So, what’s this going to be? Your twenty-first?”

“Yessir,” William replied. “I started school a year early.”

“Oh?”

“I think because I was so tall.”

Ted Sorensen looked up from his Wall Street Journal and nodded. “Understandable. Heard you went over to Fox on a class project. Did you meet Lucas?”

“Yessir.”

“And…what did you think…?” Ted added, returning his attention to the newspaper.

“He’s kind of like a genius, if you know what I mean. He’s got this vision…”

“Yes, yes, I think I understand that, but personally…how did he strike you.”

“Down to earth, very low key.”

“Compare him to Coppola. What are the key differences in their approach to making movies…?”

“They’re really pretty similar, sir, only Coppola should have been a farmer. Be’s basically not real happy unless his hands are in the dirt.”

“The dirt?” Sorensen said, looking up from the paper again. “What does that mean?”

“Just that, sir. I think at heart he’s a farmer. Making movies was a means to an end for him.”

“And farming is his end?”

“I think so, sir.”

Sorensen nodded, filing that little tidbit away – for the time being, anyway. “What time does your brother’s flight get in?”

“Four-thirty, at LAX.”

“And you’re going to take him up to The Chart House tonight?”

“Yessir. I was kind of hoping you could make it.”

Sorensen nodded. “We’ll see. I’ve got a meeting up in the city tomorrow morning.”

“Yessir.”

“I heard a couple of scouts from the Forty Niners were looking you over. That true?”

“Yessir. Two days this week, and their team orthopedic surgeon looked at my knee.”

“And that means what, exactly…?” Yet Ted already had already read their report, and he’d talked to the coach already, too.

“They usually don’t do that unless they’re serious.”

“Oh? Well, how’d the exam go?” 

“Fine, sir.”

“You still running? Did I hear ten miles a day?”

“Yessir, about.”

“About?”

“We run from Venice up to Sunset, then back down to the breakwater at the marina before turning back for Venice. It’s about ten miles, I think.”

“You run on the boardwalk down there?”

“Some, but more out on the beach. It helps the knee, sir.”

“You said we. Who do you run with?”

“With? Oh, with Deb, sir, and we’ve got a regular group from the team that joins us.”

“Deb is running ten miles a day? Seriously?”

“Oh, yes sir. She’s got better wind than me now, too. She could easily do a marathon, sir.”

Sorensen looked up when he heard that, because the Kid had his full attention now. Debra had been plagued with respiratory issues her first five years, from asthma to chronic bronchitis, and he remembered her ENT telling Kat she might always have issues…so this was another new development, a new and quite unexpected wrinkle in the continuing repercussions of her “visits” by the feathered creatures. Like the unexplained stretch marks on her belly, and her Ob-Gyn calling to ask why she’d been nursing an infant recently.

Too many questions. And no answers.

And now this. She was ready to run marathons now, too?

Nothing was adding up. Nothing at all, and these days even his mother was a little use. She’d retired and sold the house in Brentwood and moved up to an assisted living facility in Ojai, and some days were definitely better than others where her mental acuity was concerned. They rarely spoke anymore…

He shook his head at that. “Marathons, you say? Why don’t you run the hills up above Sunset. Probably get a better workout that way.”

The Kid nodded. “I’ll mention that to her, sir, but Venice is so convenient.”

Sorensen had bought a little bungalow down there for her, because – or so she’d said at the time – she needed some more space. Whatever the hell that meant, other than she needed a place to screw the Kid? Their little love shack was cheap enough, that much was certain, so he’d demurred. Besides, one of the security heads at the studio lived nearby and he’d been fine with keeping an eye on her…well…them. Anyway, he’d sell it in January, after the breakup, and he’d turn a tidy profit so what the hell. It just didn’t matter now, one way or another.

Because while Taylor still officially lived on campus he was for all intents and purposes living with Deb now, and while that complicated matters somewhat Sorensen had anticipated that development. Still, he had planned this ‘inevitable’ breakup, and he knew that when it came it would shake up his daughter, probably seriously so. But that couldn’t be helped, Sorensen knew. The Kid just wasn’t right for her. Never had been, never would be. Redneck white-trash…that’s what he was and probably all he’d ever been…

But he knew better, and he had ever since that night in Haifa.

‘Leonidas…Leonidas…and so the boy-king ascended to the throne on the shoulders of his brother, his brother the deposed king. And that would be…me? Leonidas deposed…me? What the Hell is going on? What does it mean that William is here, now, lurking in the shadows? My shadow?”

Yes, Sorensen was becoming more and more like his father. Madness had been programmed into the sequence, had it not? Madness could be so useful.

A blue sphere in the room, no larger than a mote of dust, glowed briefly before it pulsed once, then disappeared.

+++++

Frank’s grades had never been good, and so college had never really been an option, at least not by way of academic merit, anyway. Perhaps if he’d been even half as good a football player as his brother some school might have tried him out, but no, that was not the case either, and so college was never meant to be. Frank was, however, a good enough hand on the ranch. He was decent with horses and could handle most of the routine physical chores that went with running cattle in north central Montana…which is, by the bye, one of the coldest, if not the coldest environments in the lower 48 states.

Bookkeeping? He was not so good there. Running a combine? No, not really, but then again these days wheat harvests were increasingly being outsourced to large operations that started in the far north then worked their way south through the Great Plains, with just a few dozen large operators harvesting most of the wheat in the country. 

And yet William knew their father understood all that. Frank would never be able to handle the ranch, so it was time to think about letting one of his other brothers take the reins for a while. Such a move would hurt Frank, and deeply, but then again Bill Sr. recalled that his father had made it clear he expected William to take over when the time came.

But no one had never expected his firstborn to be such a jock. And a good one, as it happened.

Yet there had been one other bump along the way, a bump during his junior year in high school.

Montana is a peculiar place. Fierce independence born of relentless isolation is certainly a defining characteristic of life there, but so too is a deep, abiding thirst for knowledge. Montana has produced more than its fair share of writers, and a bunch of those writers started out as teachers. Most of them go back east to school, to places like Harvard and Dartmouth, yet almost all these souls end up back in Montana. Maybe it’s the mountains. Maybe it’s because the sky really is bigger there. Who knows? And one of those souls ended up teaching at the high school where William Taylor was a student.

She taught History, and she saw something in the hulking boy. Something almost gifted, but a gift grounded in a real desire to work hard at whatever he put his mind to. William was in her US History class during his junior year, and with a nudge here and a little encouragement there he started to turn in excellent work, so much so that she invited him to join her Advanced Placement US History course in his last year there. And this proved pivotal.

Most jocks don’t take AP classes, and fewer still ace the national AP exam – yet Taylor did. And taking that class, let alone doing as well as he did on the exam, made the admissions office at USC sit up and take note of the hulking jock from Nowhere, Montana. Taylor won a full-ride scholarship on the merits of that achievement, and he had done so well at USC that he would have been admitted to the film school even without Ted Sorensen’s intercessions. And now that it looked like he was headed to the pros he was fast becoming one of the biggest names on campus.

Yet, and Sorensen had checked on this more than once, Taylor remained steadfastly loyal to Debra. He professed undying love for her, and Sorensen knew the Kid wanted to marry her. The trouble with that, as far as he was concerned, was the boy’s parents. His father was way out there on the lunatic fringe, a born again neo-Nazi right out of some kind of perverse comic book, while his mother was a born again sky pilot who saw Jesus in cloud formations. And now she was painting these visions, too…on black velvet canvases. Sheesh!

Even Debra was a little concerned about meeting William’s parents.

She’d told her father about the things William had said on that dive trip to Catalina. That even he was ashamed of them…

Maybe that was the key to the whole dilemma, Ted had thought, at least for a while. Maybe the Kid would, in effect, renounce his parents, but then what? Could he then drop his objections to the Kid marrying Debra? 

So…Ted had picked up all these tidbits long before Frank Taylor flew down to LA for his big brother’s 21st birthday, and sitting beside Debra looking out at the sea he was really only half aware of the conversation going on between the three of them.

“So…you make movies?” he heard a voice saying, and he turned to see this strange looking boy staring at him.

“Me?” Ted replied. “Well, you might say that.”

“Bill says you were the one behind the Star Force movies. Those are my favorite!”

“Bill said that? Really?”

“Yeah. I just wanted to tell you how much I admire your work,” the boy said, holding out his right hand.

And Ted took it. “Well, thank you so much. That means the world to me.” He tried not to flinch when Deb kicked him under the table, though he did turn and give her “The Look.” The look that said ‘Don’t you ever do that to me again or I’ll disown you…’

But she’d already turned away by then. 

“Will you be able to come with us to Disneyland tomorrow?”

“Sadly, no. I have to be in San Francisco.”

“Oh. This is good beer, ya know?”

“I’m glad you like it. Why don’t you kids head on up to the salad bar and rustle up some rabbit food?”

“Rabbit food!” Frank cried, slapping the table – and quite loudly, too. “I love it!”

Ted smiled. “Have all you want, my boy!”

He cringed after they left for the salad bar, and he cursed the day Debra had met that fucking oaf.

Billings, Montana                                       23 December 1999

She was a little miffed that her dad hadn’t let them come up in the Gulfstream, but he’d only shrugged her anger away. “Don’t pout,” he’d then goaded her, “it will spoil the lines of your face.”

So they’d flown to Salt Lake City and now they were crammed in some kind of Canadian ‘regional jet’ – a euphemism for cramped and uncomfortable if ever there was one – and to make matter worse the weather was truly horrendous, with nothing but blowing snow everywhere she looked…

She was sitting next to the window in 1A, her left knee pressed into the boarding stairs, and William was grinning like a fool. The bottom dropped and the left wing jerked up then the jet yawed hard and the power came on suddenly, and quite powerfully, and Debra was just about sure this was the end. The she looked at the flight attendant sitting just ahead, the woman facing her too, and yet the woman was yawning and filling a fingernail.

Then it felt like something huge had just kicked the bottom out from under the little jet and even the stewardess looked up at that, just in time for her meal cart – now loaded with cans of soda pop – to spew it’s contents all over the galley. And about that time some unfortunate soul spewed the contents of her stomach all over the cabin, and the stench hit everyone at about the same time; Deb reached for her barf-bag and opened it wide, feeling the bile rising in her throat just before the sweats began, only in earnest now. An invisible hand shoved the aircraft down again, and hard, then the power came on hard, again, only to come off a little, and she turned and looked out the nauseatingly small window, hoping her death would come quickly and wouldn’t be too painful…

But no, she saw city lights, and pretty close, too, then she felt the bump-bump-chirping sound of the main gears kissing the earth again and she did what everyone else on the little jet did…she broke out into wild, teary-eyed applause…

“Woo-hoo! Man, that was great!” William shouted. “That was almost better than Space Mountain, darlin’!”

She smiled, then brought the barf bag to her face.

Too late, as it happened.

+++++

She walked up the Jetway, her head down, and she’d never felt so embarrassed. 

Here she was, about to meet her future in-laws – with barf on her breath! And then she saw bits of barf on her sweater and wanted to run away…

But no…there was Frank. Standing next to two of the most ordinary looking people ever. She’d been expecting they’d be holding pitchforks maybe, or that they’d have red skin, horns and split tails… But no…for some reason William’s father reminded her of Glenn Ford. Steel-gray crew-cut hair, genial smile and fit as a fiddle. Pressed jeans and Reeboks…not cowboy boots? He was wearing a green John Deere ball cap, but that was hardly unexpected, and he came forward and gave her a little hug, too.

“Hi there,” he said – genially. “I’m Bill Taylor, and this is Wanda, my better half.”

And Wanda stepped forward, almost shyly, and she gave Debra a polite little hug.

“I’m so pleased to finally meet you both,” Deb said, now acutely aware that her breath just had to smell almost as nice as the urinals in a busy truck-stop – and that was precisely when Wanda took out a tissue and picked a couple of chunky bits of barf off Deb’s brand new cable-knit cashmere sweater.

“Must’ve been a nice flight,” Bill Sr said, grinning. “About half the folks coming off this plane look green.”

“Oh, Dad, it was a kick in the ass! You’d’ve loved it!”

“Watch it, son. You’re in polite company,” Bill said, his sudden deep scowl hard and final.

“Yessir.”

“We thought we’d make a night of it,” Bill continued. “Whenever we come in for a special occasion like this we like to head over to Outback. Anyone feel like steak tonight?”

“Sure!” Deb said, her stomach doing another barrel roll. “That sounds great!”

She sat in the back, between Wanda and Frank, while the two Bills sat up front, with Bill Jr. doing the driving…

“I got cataracts,” he explained. “Gonna have ‘em fixed this winter, so meantime I don’t drive much at night.”

“I hear it’s an easy operation,” Deb said helpfully.

“Hope so,” Bill Sr said, and that was about all he said for the rest of the evening.

After they were seated at the restaurant she waited to see what they ordered to drink – both parents opted for ice-water, but both Frank and Bill Jr went for iced tea, so she went with an iced tea as well.

The boys ordered huge ribeyes while the obviously frugal parents ordered chopped steak – hamburger patties – off the seniors menu, so she ordered a salad topped with slices of steak, and Wanda appeared to approve of her just then. Point scored!

When they left the restaurant they had to backtrack into the main part of Billings and Bill Sr made sure they stopped and topped-off the Suburban’s main fuel tank, “because you never know when you’ll need the extra gas,” then it was up a long incline and they passed the airport as they left town…and then, within the span of a quarter mile, they were out on an endless expanse of snow-capped prairie. The way ahead was lit by two inadequate headlights, and as far as she could tell there wasn’t another living human being in sight…in any direction. Not even a streetlight pierced the snowy gloom…

“You know,” she said to Frank, “this is the exact opposite of Los Angeles.”

“I told ya!” he cried. “Remember when we was driving down to Disneyland? I think I said pretty much the exact same thing…like that was the exact opposite of home…and it is, too! There’s nothing but people everywhere you look down there, and here…”

“I don’t see anyone out there,” Deb sighed.

“Not much out there this time of year,” Bill Sr said. “We winter most of our herd down in Texas or New Mexico, then bring ‘em back here for the summer grass, to fatten ‘em up before market. Only thing out there right now is prairie dogs and rattlesnakes, and they’re all deep in the ground, sleeping ’til the ground warms up again.”

“So there aren’t any snakes around here right now?” Deb asked, which prompted laughs all around.

“Snakes dip into their holes whenever the temps fall below fifty-five. Lay their eggs down there too, then they all come up in June, hungry and mean as can be.”

Deb shivered.

“You cold, dear?” Wanda chided.

“A little, yes.”

“Bill, turn up the heat back here, please,” Wanda added.

“Yes, mother,” Bill Sr replied. “Supposed to get about a foot tonight. I think you two were flying through it on your way here.”

“A foot?” Deb asked. “Of what? Snow?”

“Yup. But that forecast is for Billings. We’ll get more up here.”

“More?” she said incredulously. “How much more?”

“Don’t much matter,” Bill Sr sighed. “William, I’d appreciate the help while you’re around.”

“Yessir. You got the plow on the F-150?”

“Yes, of course, but I picked up a new F-350, a dually. And yes, I’ve already got the chains on her.”

“Just the main drive and the barn?”

“Yes, well, but I’d like you to go down and do Walter’s driveway. He just had prostate surgery and the doc don’t want him on his feet just yet.”

About ten miles out of Billings the snow really started to come down at a steady clip, and by the time they made it out to the ranch there was already six inches on the highway, and to make matters more interesting the power was out.

“Frank? Go see why the generator didn’t kick in. William, you and I will need to check the cows, and you might as well take a pass with the plow.”

“Yessir.”

“Debra and I will take care of the bags, Bill,” Wanda added.

William parked the Suburban after he helped get the bags out of the back, then he walked out to the dairy barn to help his dad.

“Generator didn’t kick in out here, too.”

“How old is the fuel, Dad?”

“Got it last winter.”

“Did you put the stabilizer in, like I told you?”

“Stabilizer?”

“Yeah, pops, to keep algae from growing…”

“Don’t call me that, son.”

William ignored him, for the time being anyway, and then he turned and walked to the storeroom and found two new fuel filters. He made his way out to the main generator first and changed the filter in the driving snow, then he primed the diesel and turned on the main unit, the generator that powered the house at times like this, then he made his way back out to the dairy barn and got that unit up and running, too.

His dad was waiting for him in the main part of the barn.

“Milk didn’t freeze so I think we’ll be okay here. The keys are in the -350 if you want to get a start on the driveway.”

He looked at his father, at the bare-faced emptiness within the dry shell of the man, then he just shook his head and made his way through the drifting knee-deep snow to the new Ford and got it going. He found the controls for the snowplow while the engine warmed up, then he started in on the area between the main house and the dairy barn, the deeply ingrained rhythms of the daily grind here coming back to him without any real conscious thought on his part. He finished the main drive then made his way down to his Uncle Walter’s place and did that one too.

By the time he made it back to the house it was long past midnight, and he realized he’d been at it for almost five hours. He felt a little chill and looked at his clothes, at the flimsy shit he’d put on back in LA., and he shook his head. But his mom was, like she had been since he’d been old enough to tie his own shoes, waiting for him in the kitchen with hot cocoa and some fresh oatmeal raisin cookies, and right out of the oven, too. He came into the kitchen and plopped down into his usual chair and put his hands around the mug of cocoa, warming his hands before he took his first long pull.

“Thanks, Mom. You’re the best,” he sighed…

…and she smiled, then looked away. “Your father told me about the filters.”

“Is he forgetting stuff like that a lot, Mom?”

She looked at him again but then hesitated and simply shook her head. “Oh, not so much, really. Little stuff. You know, not the big things.”

“Great cookies. I love ‘em when they’re still warm like this.”

“I put some of those tiny chocolate chips in this batch. Can you tell the difference?”

“Yeah, I thought I tasted something new. I like ‘em.”

“Are you really going to stay down there with all those Jews and those…those negroes?”

William sucked in a deep breath but decided to let this one slide. “I’m happy there, Mom.”

“And you’re needed here, son.”

“Frank can handle it, Mom.”

But she vehemently shook her head: “No, he can’t. He’s stupid, Bill, and you know it.”

He’d never heard her talk about Frank like this before, and especially not so crudely, so he was a little shocked when he heard that. “Stupid, Mom? Why…what’s this all about? What did he do?”

“You belong here, William. You’re needed here. We built this up for you, and now you’re turning your back on everything we did…”

“Mom, no…I…”

“It was that Jew-girl, wasn’t it? That History teacher? She infected you! Can’t you see that? Ever since you took that class of hers you been different. Real different…”

“Miss Eisenstadt? Mom? Are you serious?”

“They ran that Jew out of here a year or so ago. She’s over in Bozeman now, over there with all the other filthy Jew-lovers.”

He took another sip of cocoa and finished his second cookie, then he smiled at his mother and went up to his room.

Debra was, of course, not there…so he went up to the guest bedroom on the third floor, in what was, really, the attic; she woke when he came up the steps and opened the door. She sat up and rubbed her eyes while he sat on the edge of her bed, then she looked at her watch and sighed.

“It’s almost one in the morning!” she whispered.

“And I gotta get up at 5:30. Tomorrow is going to be a real ball-buster,” he sighed.

“Can I come with you?” 

“Sure. Just dress warm, ‘cause its gonna be a cold one.”

“Like how cold is cold around here?”

“The high is gonna be like 15 below.”

“Shit! Are you fucking serious?”

“Serious as a heart attack, babe. Montana don’t much suffer city folk or sissies, ya know?”

“Sweet Jesus…” Deb sighed. “Fifteen below?”

“And don’t talk like that around mother – or world war three might just break out…”

“Right. I forgot.”

“Breakfast is at five-forty five. What time do you want me to get you up?”

“I don’t know. What do I need to wear?”

“Everything,” he said, grinning like a madman, and she thought he looked just like his father.

+++++

Breakfast was eggs and freshly baked bread, bread made from wheat grown on Taylor land, eggs from the laying chickens in Taylor coops. Hands were held all ‘round the table as prayers were said and the meal was eaten quickly and in utter silence – until Bill Sr handed out his marching orders, anyway.

“Frank, you’d better ride the east fence. I can see a couple steers out there; try to fix the fence right this time. William…Aunt Ducey called and she can’t even get to her plow so after you get ours done go out and get hers before you…”

“Got it, Dad.”

“Now Debra, can you stay here and help Mother get lunch ready?”

Deb looked at William, who spoke up then: “Actually, Dad, I was hoping she could ride with me today…”

“She’s not needed out there, boy, and your mother could use the help getting ready for Christmas Eve. We’re going to have family here tonight, remember?”

William nodded. “Yessir. Sorry Deb, but he’s right.”

She felt a little uneasy just then, more of an outsider than she’d ever thought possible, and the idea of helping prepare some kind of Christmas Eve dinner simply didn’t ring true. No, she felt like she was being maneuvered, pushed aside and shunted under a microscope – like something to be examined once before it was discarded.

“Dad?” Frank said. “That’s not exactly fair, ya know?”

“I don’t recall asking you, Frank,” his father said, quietly, calmly, menacingly. “Now I think you boys need to get to work. Company’s coming at five o’clock,” he said, looking down at his wristwatch, “and we’re burning daylight.”

+++++

She watched William driving the Ford around all the driveways for a moment, then he made a couple of passes out the driveway before turning north on the highway and he disappeared in the driving snow.

“Can you help with the stuffing?” Wanda said.

“Excuse me?”

“The stuffing. You do know how to cook, don’t you?”

“No, not really.”

Mrs. Taylor stopped in her tracks and stared at Debra for a long time, apparently not sure what to say next. “You do eat, don’t you?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Well then, who cooks the food around your house?”

“We have two people, a chef and an assistant cook. And I…”

Mrs. Taylor’s eyes blinked in confused incomprehension. “You…what?”

“My father has two people to do the cooking at the house, as well as two housekeepers who cook, too. I’ve never really cooked anything in my life.”

“Do you know how to run a vacuum cleaner? Dust a table?”

Debra shook her head.

“I’m sorry, but just what can you do?”

But Debra just smiled, refusing to be drawn into any kind of argument with this woman. “If you’ll show me what you need me to do I’ll be more than happy to lend a hand,” she said – though quietly, calmly, and menacingly.

Wanda Taylor knew that look, understood the people who wielded that kind of inner strength, so just looked down and nodded. “Is this the kind of life you think you’ll have with my boy?”

“And what kind of life would that be, Mrs. Taylor?”

“Cooks, servants, that kind of stuff?”

“I would imagine we’ll lead the kind of life we want to, Mrs. Taylor.”

“I see.”

“I wonder. Do you?”

“He’s a good boy, you know. And you’re going to ruin him, take all this away from him,” she said, holding her arms wide, indicating this house and all the prairies and mountains around their home.

“Yes, he is a good man, and he’s bigger than all this. And I think that scares you. It always has, hasn’t it?”

And then Wanda Taylor exhaled deeply, deflating as she sat down in a chair by the kitchen table. “I’m so tired of worrying about him. Both of us are. Maybe because there’s nothing we can do, I suppose.”

“But you must know…he’s already leading a kind of magical life, a life already full of meaningful accomplishments. It looks like he’s going to be playing in the NFL, and he already has good contacts in the entertainment business. The sky really is the limit as far as William is concerned, and I love him. I want to be a part of that life, to help him achieve all those things he never could here…”

“Your children. They’ll be Jews, won’t they?”

Debra looked at this woman and all the tumblers fell into place. “Oh, don’t worry, Mrs. Taylor. We stopped eating our children years ago.”

Maybe her little jab was undeserved, but in that instant Wanda Taylor’s heart filled with an immeasurable Hate. She stood and went to her bedroom, slamming the door shut behind her as she went – leaving Debra alone in the kitchen.

“My, my,” she sighed, “but that went well.” And with that she went upstairs and found a telephone. She spoke with her father for almost an hour then went to the third floor attic to pack her suitcase.

+++++

When the boys came in the boys were greeted by stone cold silence.

Wanda was still in her bedroom. Debra wasn’t helping make dinner for Christmas Eve. Lunch wasn’t on the kitchen table, and Bill Sr marched off to his bedroom to see what had gone wrong with his little world.

William walked upstairs. Quietly, gently, menacingly, and not at all sure what to feel. This was Christmas. This was supposed to be a quiet night together with family, and he had wanted to make a special announcement this night, of all nights, because Christmas Eve had always been a special kind of time. And asking Deb to marry him in front of all his family was the most special thing he could imagine…

The first thing he saw when he went inside the little attic guest room was her packed suitcase, and he sighed in utter defeat.

She was in the bathroom, presently blow-drying her hair, and he sat in the little room, deciding to wait for her, to wait for the confrontation he knew was coming.

‘Maybe I should have told her more. Maybe I should have told her more about mother,’ he thought, his confusion now complete. A few minutes later she stepped out of the tiny bathroom and she even seemed surprised to see him, yet she finished putting on her clothes in absolute silence, then she came and sat on the edge of the bed. 

“I don’t belong here, William. I never have, and I never will.”

“But I do. Is that what you’re saying?”

“Yes.”

“You’re wrong, Deb. I belong with you, we belong together, and you know that’s true.”

She nodded. “I did, yes, until this morning. But William, this is who you are, where you belong. Can’t you see that?”

He shook his head. “No. No, I can’t. I can’t wait to get back to LA. I can’t wait to get away from this place, from her…”

“Who? From your mother?”

He nodded. “Yes. And everything she stands for, the hatred, the narrow-mindedness, her walled-off view of the world…”

“Don’t you think she needed all those walls simply in order to survive out here? To keep all those things out of her mind, walled off, so they wouldn’t drive her mad? Everything seems so out of reach here…”

He shook his head. “No, not in the least. Don’t glamorize that hatred, Deb. Her world is inside one little book, her Book of Numbers, and nothing else matters to her. Everything that doesn’t fit inside that little world is something to be put down, to be shunned and derided…”

She nodded. “You can’t see it yet, can you?”

“See what?”

“We’re too far apart. From two different worlds, close…but not touching.”

“What do you want to do, Deb?”

“Take me to the airport, please. Dad’s coming to pick me up.”

“Oh? So…Daddy’s coming to rescue his little princess? And where does that leave me, I wonder? Some garbage to be tossed out along the side of the road? Just drive off, fly away I mean, and just like that, be done with it? With me?”

“This isn’t really all that complicated, William? At least it doesn’t have to be. Dad has plans for you, so don’t worry about all that.”

“You two must have had a lot to talk about while I was out there pushing snow around.”

“Can you carry my bag down, please?”

“Can I at least pack my stuff? I’m coming with you.”

“Bring your airline ticket.”

“I see. So that’s it, then?”

“You should stay here, William. Be with your family.”

“You are my family, Debra.”

She just shook her head, picked up her bag and headed down the creaky stairs. She found Frank down there and asked him to drive her into the airport.

“What about William?” he asked, and when she shook her head Frank groaned inside. “Okay. Let me get the keys.”

By the time William came running down the stairs with his suitcase the old white Suburban was out the driveway and turning onto the highway. “Goddamnit!” he yelled.

“What’s going on, son,” his father said, coming out of his bedroom.

“Deb’s gone, on her way to the airport…”

“What? Why?”

“Something happened with Mom. She packed her bags – and she just broke up with me.”

Bill nodded. “I’ll get the keys to the old 150. We can catch them before they get to the airport.”

They ran out to the truck and started for Billings.

And still the blizzard only picked up strength…

+++++

Bill Sr expected to find the Suburban at the FBO on the east end of the airport in Billings, at the Edwards Jet Center, and he was correct. He drove into the parking lot and they found Frank and Debra sitting in the truck, with the engine still running. Debra’s face was a wreck, her eyes bloodshot from the nonstop tears that had been running down her face since she’d left the house, and when the old Ford pulled in next to her she seemed almost happy to see William.

Then William came to her door and she rolled the window down.

“What are you doing here?” she said to him, trying to hide the relief she felt.

“Trying to stop you from doing something really dumb,” he said, trying to smile but still very confused.

“Dumb?”

“Yeah, dumb. Your dad’s trying to break us apart, Deb. He has been for a while. Can’t you see that?”

“He wouldn’t do that, William. Really, he just wouldn’t…”

“Deb…don’t let him do this to us. Don’t throw what we have away. We, you and I, we can make this work.”

They heard a jet land through the snow and everyone turned to look…but it was a Delta CRJ landing and turning for the commercial terminal…and Bill Sr stepped close then and looked at Debra.

“Little lady, I know we’re a little rough around the edges out here but William is a good boy and he loves you. I just spent an hour listening to him go on and on about you and how much he loves you, and I’d sure hate to see something as silly as Wanda spouting off about God and all that stuff she’s into come between you two.”

She looked at Bill Sr and nodded. “I understand, Mr. Taylor, really I do, but…”

“No buts, Debra,” Bill Sr said. “You two need to go sit somewhere and talk. This is big stuff and no one needs to go off half-cocked. William? You two go on inside and wait for her father. Frank and I will be right here if you need us.”

Another jet landed, and this time William could see Ted’s Gulfstream slowing on the runway, the thrust reversers kicking up a dense flurry of snow on the runway before it turned onto a taxiway and headed for the FBO.

“Dad, Frank, would you come with me, please. I’d like you to at least meet Mr. Sorensen. Deb? Are you okay with that?”

She nodded and followed the boys into the base, walking up to the ramp door to wait for her father. And it didn’t take long for the Gulfstream to taxi up to the business jet terminal and park. A fuel truck pulled up to the jet and quickly began refueling the aircraft, then the main airstair opened and the co-pilot came down to the ramp and jogged to the door.

“Miss Sorensen, you’re to come with me please. Now.”

“I’m bringing William,” she replied.

“I’m sorry, but he is not invited.”

She nodded then turned to William, and then she handed him her purse. “Buy a ticket and come straight to L.A.; I’ll pick you up at LAX as soon as I can. If you don’t hear from me, go to the beach house and wait for me there.”

He took her purse and kissed her on the lips, and then she turned and walked out to the waiting jet. As soon as she was aboard the airstair closed, but the jet remained there while the refueling operation continued, then the engines started and the jet taxied out to the runway. A minute later he and his brother and father watched the jet take off and climb into the snow-filled clouds, and William felt a sudden shattering emptiness, like everything he’d expected his life to be had just come undone. Now completely overcome, the man-child looked down and started to cry.

And his kid brother came over and grabbed him by the shirt collar and shook him. “What the hell is the matter with you, bro? Let’s get you over to the terminal and on your way…”

“But…it’s Christmas,” he whispered, “and Mom will be so disappointed…”

“Fuck her and the horse she rode in on,” Bill Sr said. “Get your shit together, son. You’ve got your work cut out for you, so let’s get you to it.”

William nodded, but he was looking at the clouds now, and wondering if the sun would ever come out again.

© 2021-22 adrian leverkühn | abw | adrianleverkühnwrites.com all rights reserved, and as usual this is just a little bit of fiction, pure and simple.

John Denver \\ season suite: Late Winter Early Spring

Forgotten Songs From An Imaginary Life, Chapter 13.5

A Housee no windows

Down we go into the rabbit hole, deeper and deeper…at least until the stars rise.

Time enough for jasmine tea?

I sure hope so…

(Stephen Stills, Do For The Others)

Part III: The House With No Windows

Chapter 13.5

Beverly Hills, California                                                            June 1997

Debra found her father staring into nothingness more often than not these days, and this morning he had been standing in the kitchen – staring deep into the upper atrium koi-pond – his hands hanging limply at his side. The housekeeper had fixed his usual breakfast of scrambled eggs and nova-lox, but the food remained on the dining room table, uneaten and getting cold. Yesterday’s had remained untouched as well, as had the day before and the day before that. She came quietly to his side and stood beside him, waiting…

“Hello, little one,” he said some time later. “What are you up to today?”

“Oh, I thought I might go jump off a bridge. You know, do something constructive?”

“Oh? Well, have a good time.”

“Dad?”

“Yes?”

“It’s time to snap out of it, okay? It’s time to rejoin the human race.”

“The human race? What?”

“Well, that might be a better course of action than this self abuse, don’t you think?”

“Self abuse? What does that mean?”

“Standing here feeling sorry for yourself, maybe?”

“I’m not feeling sorry for myself, Deb. I’ve been thinking about that night in Haifa.”

“What night?”

“At the restaurant, with Leonidas.”

“You mean William?”

“Yes, just so.”

“What have you been thinking about?”

“About what happens when a king is deposed.”

“Deposed? What do you mean by that, Dad?”

He took a deep breath and held it in for a moment, then he let the stale air slide out slowly: “I’ve made that mistake too many times already, and I’m not going to let that happen again. Is Lucille around? I’d like some breakfast.”

“It’s on the table, Dad. Why don’t you go sit and I’ll get your coffee. What would you like?”

“An espresso, I think. Make it a double, would you?”

“Okay, Dad.”

“Are you going to see Leonidas today?”

“If you mean William, then yes, I am. Remember? We’re going diving with Henry Taggart, down in Newport Beach.”

“Taggart?”

“The special effects guy from Seattle? You remember…he was with us in Tahiti last year.”

“Oh, him. I thought he moved north. Good riddance.”

“Oh, he’s harmless enough, Dad,” she said as she started the espresso maker. “We’re going to sail out to Catalina, to the Isthmus, and do some diving for our class.”

“Diving? You mean…with tanks and all that…?”

“Yup, he’s an instructor, but we’re going to meet the guys from our diving class out there; they’re coming over on a charter boat.”

“Is this something I need to be aware of? Is it dangerous?”

“Oh, not at all. We’ll be with dozens of people and a bunch of instructors. It’s no big deal, Dad. Really.”

“These eggs are cold,” Sorensen said, pushing the plate away.

“I’ll make you some fresh…”

“Oh, never mind. I’ll get something at the commissary.”

“Dad? It’s Saturday.”

“Saturday? Already?”

“Dad? Why don’t you call Dina, maybe head down to PV and go for a ride with her.”

“Too many snakes down there, and besides, I don’t trust her anymore.”

“You don’t trust her? Since when?”

“There’s something in her eyes now. Something I don’t trust.”

She brought the coffee to her father and she thought he looked a little like a lost child; not really knowing what else to do she decided to go and call his mother. Maybe this last link to his father – and to that hollow past – could break him out of this latest funk. It was worth a try, anyway. Anything was, at this point – because his life had recently been lurching from one psychic crisis to the next, yet now he seemed to be growing almost paranoid. 

She went to her suite and packed her dive bag then called Tilly. She filled her in and asked her to come by and check up on him this afternoon, then she drove down to campus to pick up William.

+++++

Taylor was on a “full ride” scholarship at USC, which meant his tuition, room and board were covered, but it also meant he had to participate in a work-study program in addition to playing football. He was taking two classes over the summer and working five evenings a week in the dining hall, mainly doing dishes but occasionally working the serving line, but at least he had weekends off and he was looking forward to finishing this diving class Deb had signed him up for. He’d never been a particularly good swimmer but like everything else he tried, it hadn’t taken him long to master the basics. He’d always been like that. If something required physical prowess he excelled at it; if overcoming fear was involved he was truly peerless, in a class all his own. Still, the ocean was different, foreign…

He was working out with the coaches and trainers in the mornings when he wasn’t in class, and strengthening his knee day by day, impressing even the head coach with his dedication and stamina, and he’d decided to give it his all in the classroom this year, too, which was why he decided to pack his calculus text with his other gear for this trip to Catalina with Deb. And math might keep his mind off…him…

He still didn’t know how he felt about Henry Taggart, only that there’d been something between him and Deb and he was really glad when Taggart moved north again, back to Seattle. But then Taggart had called and suggested they take a SCUBA class so that maybe they could all go on some dive trips together, and Deb had been kind of excited about doing that so he decided to go along with it and see what developed.

Deb came to the dorm in her new Land Rover, one of those chunky old school models that had been around since the fifties, because she’d thought it might be more practical for diving or skiing or whatever. She’d kept the canary yellow Porsche, of course, which had only humiliated him that much more, but in the end going out with a rich chick sure had its privileges, and he’d never been much for showing jealousy….

He tossed his dive bag in the back and came around to the passenger side and got in, and she slipped a Mini-disc in the Sony player and Boston’s More Than a Feeling came blaring through the new custom stereo he’d insisted she install, and he grinned along to the music as she made her way to the Interstate.

“You taking the Five to the Fifty Five?” he asked, demonstrating his growing command of the city.

“That’s right,” she said, smiling. “Alright! High five!” she said, holding up her hand.

“That’s the way to Disneyland, right?”

“Yup.”

“We still haven’t been, ya know?”

“I know. I was thinking maybe we could do your birthday there. Sound good to you?”

He nodded. “You think maybe we could fly Frank down for that?”

“Your brother? Sure. What about your parents?”

“No. Just Frank,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest.

She caught this defensive reflex and wanted to ask about his folks again, but no, not yet. “Do we need to stop for anything before we get to Newport?”

“No, I think I got it all.”

“Weights for your weight belt?”

“Yup, got ‘em.”

“Your dive computer…”

“Charged and ready to go.”

“Dive tables?”

“Left pocket of my BC, just where…”

“…they’re supposed to be,” she smiled. “You hungry?”

“Of course. There’s a Carl’s Jr at the next exit – if you don’t mind.”

+++++

She turned into the Balboa Bay Club and stopped at the main gate. She didn’t have a decal on her windshield so the attendant stopped her: “Name, please?” the man asked.

“Deb Sorensen, meeting Henry Taggart?”

“Okay, space T-17 right over there, by the red BMW,” he replied. “Good day.”

“Thanks,” Taylor said before Deb took off, driving right into the assigned space. “Man, this place is like some kind of armed citadel.”

“Welcome to Orange County, William. No blacks – and no poor people allowed.”

“No shit?”

“No shit. And make sure your shirt is tucked in.”

He looked around and sure enough…

“Man, I thought you were kidding.”

“Nope. And no swearing,” she added.

“Man, we sho ain’t in Beverly Hills no moe, is we, Miss Scarlet?”

She burst out laughing at that; in fact she laughed until she cried. Orange County did that to her.

Henry came up to her window and knocked on the glass. “Sorry I missed that joke. Must’ve been a good one.”

“Oh, you have no idea,” Deb sighed, dabbing her eyes with a tissue.

“Nice Defender. Is it new? Your stuff in back?” Taggart asked in a rapid, staccato burst.

“Yeah,” Taylor said, “let me give you a hand.”

“I better go get a couple of carts,” Henry said. “Be right back, but hey, Bill, I could sure use a hand.”

“Right,” Taylor said, his hackles rising at being called Bill, but he took off after Henry.

“Oh, Lord,” Deb sighed inwardly, “what have I gone and done now…?”

+++++

“I thought we were taking a sailboat?” Deb asked when she saw Henry loading their gear on a huge blue trawler.

“No wind this weekend, big high pressure system moving in. Besides, this thing has a compressor.”

“Spree III? Is that the name?”

“Yeah, belongs to a friend of my dad. Used to belong to a Cadillac dealer from Dallas, and one of the Boeing brothers before that. They built it, or so I hear.”

“Who? Boeing?”

“Yup.”

“It’s huge.”

“Not really. Eighty-something feet on deck, and it’s about as fast as molasses.”

“Do I need to go get some food?” Deb asked.

“Nope. We got a skipper and a cook along for the ride, so this’ll be more like a vacation. Anyway, we should get going now; two other dive boats are coming from San Pedro along with the two from here, so we need to get a move-on to get there in time to make the first dive.”

Taggart helped Deb up the steps to the main deck and then went forward to cast off lines, and with that the huge, navy-hulled yacht backed out of her slip and turned into the main channel, heading for the main jetty in Corona del Mar. Deb went below with one of the mates to find their stateroom, leaving William on the aft deck with Henry.

“Damn,” William said, “I can hardly hear the engine.”

“Engines, Slick,” Henry said.

“Two? Really?”

“Yeah, and each one burns about a hundred gallons an hour, so at four bucks a gallon it adds up pretty quick.”

Taylor’s eyes went wide. “How many hours over and back?”

“Oh, twelve, maybe fifteen. Plus running generators while we’re there. Call it ten large, for fuel, anyway, maybe a little more. These little toys ain’t cheap, Bill.”

“I don’t mean to be rude, but who’s paying the freight for this, Henry? Not Debra?”

“No, no. I am, Bill.”

“You do know, like, that I don’t like being called Bill, right?”

“Oh yeah, I do indeed, Bill. But then again I’m paying for the privilege, okay? Unless you want to split the cost of the fuel?”

“You don’t need to be such an asshole about it, Taggart.”

“Why not, Bill?”

“You really didn’t strike me as the asshole type. Guess I was wrong, huh?”

“No, no you weren’t, but you bring out the worst in me, Bill. I can deal with stupid people all day long, but stupid people with no balls? People like you really bother me.”

“Excuse me?” Taylor said, standing now and bulling out his chest.

“You heard me, Slick.”

“You really looking to get your ass kicked?”

“Me? Hell no, but then again, I’m not your problem.”

“Huh? What?”

Taggart shook his head and chuckled a little. “Man alive, but you really are a stupid son of a bitch.”

“What the fuck are you talking about, Taggart?”

“Ted Sorensen. He’s your fucking problem, Bill, and he will be until you grow stones big enough to stand up to a prick like him.” Now, while Taggart watched, it seemed like someone had come up from behind and popped the air out of a child’s balloon; William Taylor simply deflated, but then he turned away and walked to the stern rail, his massive shoulders now drooping low in complete despair. Henry shook his head and followed, but just then he knew his little weekend project was going to be much more difficult than he’d ever imagined it could possibly be.

He stood beside Taylor looking aft, and he pointed off to their left. “That’s Lido Isle,” he said gently, “where I grew up. Doris Day is our next door neighbor.”

“No shit?” Taylor sighed, but Taggart could tell the Kid was on the verge of tears.

“To the right, yeah, see the big house right there on the end. That’s John Wayne’s place, and across the way, by that steamboat looking thing, that’s Linda Isle. That’s where the big, new money lives, and closer to us, yeah, that one, that’s Harbor Isle, where the old money hangs out.”

“Old money?”

“The really rich people, Slick. And on the left, that’s Bay Island, where the serious sailors and other like minded perverts live.”

“And you left all this behind?”

“Not my thing, Slick. Money never really was all that important to me, I guess.”

“Yeah? Maybe that’s because you’ve never had to worry about it, ya know?”

“Touché, Kid. So what about you? Where’d you grow up? Montana?”

“Yeah, on a ranch north of Billings.”

“What was that like?”

“Cold,” William Taylor said, suddenly inhaling sharply, like ‘cold’ was some sort of admission of guilt, something he could never really shake.

“You said a ranch? What, like cattle?”

“Yeah, but we have a lot of land dedicated to growing wheat, too.”

“Nitrogen cycle, crop rotation, right? Makes sense.”

“You worked a ranch before?” Taylor asked – maybe a little too hopefully.

“No, but I like a good ribeye. Does that count?” Taylor laughed at that – and Henry felt a small wave of relief wash over them, and just as Deb tip-toed out onto the deck. “So, who else lives on the ranch in Montana?”

“Lots of extended family. Aunts and uncles mainly. They each own smaller parcels, but my dad owns the biggest.”

“Oh? How big is big?”

Taylor looked aft and coughed. “Asking a rancher about the size of his spread is a little like asking him how big his pecker is, Hank.”

“Gotcha. So, your dad lives there. Who else?”

“My mom and my brother, Frank.”

“He play ball, too?”

“Yeah, but he’s not strong enough. I assume he’ll take over the ranch after my parents are gone.”

“You don’t want to?”

“Me? No, never.”

“What about your old man. What’s he like?”

Deb’s ears perked up now, and she paid close attention to William’s body language…

“He’s mean, Henry. I mean like deep down mean. Full of hate. Always has been.”

She watched William closely but he was wide open now, all his defenses down, and she wondered why, and how Henry had done it…

“What do you mean? Mean…how?”

“He talks down to everyone, and I can’t stand to be in the room when the news is on TV. It’s all ‘Niggers this, Spics that,’ and the world is being run by Kikes and liberals out to set up rule by One World Government and the UN is going to take all our rights away…”

“Kikes and liberals, huh? Well, he’s not the only that thinks that way, William. Is that why you want to get away from there?”

“There, and all the people there just like him…”

Henry shook his head and sighed. “Man, I hate to break it to you, but there are people just like your father every where you go. Even in those big, fancy houses over there,” he added, pointing at Balboa Island just then. “And you’ll even find ‘em in Beverly Hills, too, and even a few at ‘SC.”

“I know. I’m kinda figuring that out on my own these days.”

“Yeah? Well, all you can do is live your life on your own terms, and fuck all the rest of ‘em.”

Taylor nodded. “I’m ashamed of them, Hank,” Taylor mumbled, starting to cry now.

“Who? Your parents?”

“Yeah. I love my little brother, you know? But I’d be happy if I never saw the rest of them again.”

“So? Don’t go back.”

“I’d like to get Frank out of there, ya know?”

“Okay, so do it.”

“It’s not that easy, Hank…”

“Sure it is, Bill.”

Deb bristled when she heard Henry call him Bill, but she relaxed when William didn’t even flinch. ‘Now what the devil is going on here?’ she wondered.

“Right. Like all I’ve got to do is grow a pair, right?”

“Big brass ones, Bill.”

The boat made a hard right turn and accelerated a bit, and Taylor looked up at Taggart.

“We’re headed for the jetty now, then out to sea,” Henry said, perking up a bit. “Let’s go up front…better view up there now.”

And when they turned to head forward Deb was already back inside, in the galley with the ship’s cook, and Henry was glad she’d interpreted his hand signals correctly…

+++++

They had lunch up on the flying bridge, huge one pound burgers with bacon and guacamole and thick slices of beefy red tomato and thin slices of purple onion, and Henry even saw to it that the kid stayed away from the beer in the ‘fridge – because they’d be diving in just a few hours. And because the weather was so calm the surface of the sea was a bright, shiny mirror that the fierce sunlight reflected off, burning the undersides of unprotected noses and ears. But Henry saw to it that everyone had on plenty of sunscreen…

“See that fin over there?” Taggart said, pointing off to the right. “Blue shark, probably a twelve footer.”

“Man-eater?” Taylor asked, more scared than curious.

“Probably. Wanna go ask him and see?”

“No thanks. Are there Great Whites out here?”

“Whites? Oh yeah, lots, but usually immature males this time of year. Six footers, usually just curious, but always looking for rays and small seal pups – and linebackers from SC.”

“Thanks. But six footers could still hurt you, right?” Deb asked.

“Oh, sure. But again, they’re usually just curious about us. Don’t panic if you see one, but don’t try to run from one. They really love that.”

“Are there Whites around Catalina?” Taylor asked.

“Ain’t no fences out here, Bill. This is their ocean, not ours, and they pretty much go where they want, when they want – if you know what I mean, Jelly-bean.”

Debra looked at the lazily circling fin and shivered a little. “I read they hunt around dawn and dusk. Is that true?”

“Pretty much, but there are so many boats hanging around Catalina that most of the sharks keep away. Lots of divers with Shark-Darts out here…”

“Shark-Darts? What’s that?”

“Oh, think of it as a long pole with a really big, really strong hypodermic needle on the end, and the needle is hooked up to a fifteen pound air cylinder. Shark gets too close and you jab the Dart into its belly, and that causes the air cylinder to shoot a massive burst of air pressure into the body cavity, which causes all the shark’s internal organs to come spewing out its mouth. It ain’t pretty, but it works.”

“And that’s legal?” Deb asked, sounding a little shocked.

“Legal? Hell no they’re not legal. They used to make them up here, but once they were declared illegal production was moved down to Mexico, mainly because lots of fishermen keep them on their boats in case they need to go down and retrieve an anchor, stuff like that. Other people, well, they just like to kill sharks.”

“That’s sick,” Deb sighed.

“Maybe, maybe not,” Taggart replied with an offhand flip of the hand. “Unless you happen to run into a pissed off White while you’re down there. Then, who knows…maybe it won’t sound all that sick to you right about then. Well, that’s the isthmus,” he added, pointing out a notch in the island now dead ahead. We should be there in an hour or so, so we’d better get our gear ready to go…”

+++++

There were four chartered dive boats rafted together just outside of Isthmus Cove, and eighty divers were now bobbing on the surface listening to the Divemaster on deck calling out names and assigning each diver to a small group. Henry, Deb and William, as well as five other student divers and a Divemaster-trainee, were just one of the groups floating out there, and once groups were assigned Henry got his students together and wrote their names down on his dive-slate.

“Okay,” he began, “this is Dive 1, your first official open water dive, and don’t forget to get your log books to me after we finish up this evening. Remember, if I don’t sign it, it didn’t happen. Got it?”

Lots of serious looking nods and a few ‘Yessirs’ followed.

“The bottom is sixty to eighty feet here, and you’ll find a sandy surface with large scattered rock formations. Do not touch down on the sand or you’ll kick up a cloud and ruin the dive for everyone, so stay at least ten feet above the deck, okay? And stay with your buddy at all times.”

More nods. More ‘Yessirs’ again.

“Everyone zero out your dive computer now, and everyone make sure you have your interval slates and your pencils ready to go. We are going to snorkel over to the anchor line on that big blue yacht over there and follow the chain down to fifty feet. Once were down there gather on me, then we’ll go and see if we can find Waldo.”

William Taylor put his snorkel in his mouth and dipped his face into the water; he looked around nervously – expecting to see a dozen Great Whites circling just a few yards away – but he saw exactly – nothing. He could hear his breathing through the tube-like snorkel clearly, and lots of clicking sounds, and he could see Taggart’s fins dead ahead so he just followed along behind him until they got to the chain anchor rode.

Once everyone was gathered ‘round the chain, Taggart addressed them again.

“Okay, note the time on your slate now and start Dive 1 on your computer. When you finish entering that data, you’ll follow our Divemaster down the chain, and I’ll bring up the rear. William, you buddy-up with the Divemaster, and Deb…you stay with me.”

“What about me?” a teenaged girl said. “I don’t have a buddy?”

“Okay. You buddy-up with Deb here, and I’ll be right above you.”

Deb turned and looked at Henry, and he saw the edges of panic in her eyes so he swam to her. “Just grab hold of the chain and remember, let the air out of your vest slowly, control your rate of descent with air pressure. I’m only going to be a few feet away, so just keep your eyes on your buddy and it’ll be okay.”

She nodded understanding but she was wide-eyed and wide-awake now, and he wondered why she’d asked him about taking this class in the first place. Then it hit him…

That clinging hug in Bora-Bora, that infinite attraction he’d felt, and that she’d said she felt too.

‘How could I be so fucking stupid…’ he thought. ‘Oh well, that’s just one more layer of this puzzle. One at a time…one at a time…’

He ducked his head below the surface and counted heads, then he purged air from his vest and began his descent, checking his depth all the way down to the rally point. Once there he re-confirmed his count then pulled a can of cheese-whiz from his vest pocket and dropped down to the nearest large rocky outcropping. He tapped the can on the rock a few times and waved at the student divers to come in a little closer…

Moray eels are shy, and they aren’t half as mean as they look, either. They live in rocks and retreat from the world when anything even remotely threatening appears, but at Isthmus Cove if you really want to see a Moray you just need a little patience…and a lot of cheese whiz.

Who knows where the name Waldo came from, but for years all the eels at the Isthmus have come to be called Waldo, and because of the nature of the bottom more than a few Moray eels can easily to be found hiding within the rocky warrens there. And after the first few taps on the rock one appeared, then another.

Taggart took the pressurized can of cheese whiz and squirted an inch long dab of the goo onto the tip of his index finger and held it out; the closest eel slid out of his hiding place and gently took the offered cheese. He squeezed another dab out and offered it to the second eel, and this smaller, more shy one came out even more slowly but even more gently took the cheese. The Divemaster joined him and soon there were at least a half dozen eels feeding on Kraft’s finest, and then it was time to let the students who wanted to give it a try have a go at feeding one of them…

And Taggart watched as Debra took the can and fed three different eels…

But then he felt something was off…more than off, really. Something bad was about to happen – and he turned around in time to see two divers swim by about twenty feet overhead, and one of them had a speargun in hand. And he saw a Sheepshead on the end of the spear, a fairly large black and white and pinkish red fish, and a steady stream of blood from the speared fish was trailing in their wake.

“Goddamnit to fucking hell,” he screamed into his mouthpiece, and the sound was enough to attract his Divemaster-trainee who immediately came up to see what was wrong.

He pointed at the divers, and at the streaming blood as he pulled up his slate. “Get everyone circled around the anchor line, facing out for now…” he wrote, so she went down and gathered everyone into one group then pointed at the chain.

Debra turned and looked at Taggart, and when she saw the anguish in his eyes she began to panic.

He looked at William and jabbed his finger at him emphatically, then pointed at Debra.

And that was all it took. The boy became a man. He swam to her and took up a protective stance by her side, and Taggart shot him a ‘thumb’s up’ before he herded the group to the chain. The Divemaster had just placed everyone around the chain when the first Great White appeared, and it was right about then that Henry Taggart wished he’d brought along his Shark Dart…

Copenhagen, Denmark                                                    11 September 1943

Aaron Schwarzwald rubbed his eyes, with a billowing cloud of smoke from the wood stove having caused them to water, and he steadied himself on the kitchen table, waiting for the stinging pain to ease. He felt older today than he had in months, the events of the past two weeks weighing heavily on his mind.

Ever since the German occupation of Denmark – in early April, 1940 – the official government policy had been one of non-resistance, a step just short of the total cooperation the Germans sought, but a step the crown and the government deemed necessary to avoid the unnecessary loss of life that full-on resistance would have provoked. And to Aaron Schwarzwald, as it was with the majority of the Danish people, the Ninth of April and this almost bloodless capitulation represented a low point in Danish history – yet the fiction of non-resistance, if not a modicum of cooperation to the occupying forces, had defined the next two years of the war in Denmark.

But by the autumn of 1942 things had started to change. The Danish resistance group Holger Danske began their insurgency in and around Copenhagen in earnest, killing collaborators and German soldiers alike, while committing acts of sabotage when opportunities presented, and while also helping to shepherd the few remaining Jews in Denmark to safety in neutral Sweden. Saul Rosenthal was a member of this group, and through his persuading he and Aaron Schwarzwald moved prominent faculty at the University to the basement of the Schwarzwald house on their first leg of the journey to Sweden.

Yet, and some would say predictably, by August 1943 the German occupying force in Denmark had had enough; the civilian government was dissolved and the country placed under martial law. Members of the German Gestapo moved into Copenhagen in force, and these high ranking members of the party, of course, needed places to live – homes to call their own, you might say.

+++++

So Aaron rubbed his eyes, tried to see a little more clearly, but this was getting and more more difficult to do these days. It wasn’t simply the cloudy cataracts that obscured his vision, nor even the hostilities of the recent German intervention. No, now the way ahead was obscured by heartbreak.

He and Saul had finally convinced Imogen to flee to Gothenburg, and the final arrangements of her escape were in the works when Avi Rosenthal, in effect, gave away these plans to collaborators. People he knew would get word to the Gestapo, and Avi had done so because he had finally figured out that once Imogen was in Sweden she would be forever beyond his grasp, and that his brother Saul would finally be in a position to claim her heart. And this he could not do. Avi was convinced by these same collaborators that they would be able to secure her release and from there Avi would secret her to Palestine. She was, after all was said and done, nominally his wife – even if she had never loved him. Once he had her in Palestine he would change that…because time was on his side.

And now Aaron sat in his kitchen, coming to term with the news Saul had carried to him only the night before. Imogen had in fact been released, but to Werner Heisenberg, and even now she was en route to an undisclosed location near Berlin…

…and that was that.

The one thing he’d hoped to accomplish through all this – to insure the safety of his daughter by keeping her out of German hands – was now just one more link in a chain of broken dreams, a shattered epilogue to the life that had come undone in 1940. The last person on earth he would ever love was now on her way into the whitest underbelly of the beast – so she was lost to him now, and one of the men he had most trusted to see to it this never happened was to blame.

“But only the impotent lay blame on others,” he said to the empty kitchen table. “A man never blames. Isn’t that what my father always told us. A man takes responsibility for his failures. If possible he tries to right his wrongs, but he never blames.”

And then, a knock on the door. A gentle tapping on the inset glass, and so he sighed, picked up his cane and made his way to the front door – an old oaken door that had guarded his family for more than two hundred years. He opened the door and looked down on a ferret-faced man in a black leather trench coat. A Nazi, perhaps, or one of their collaborators. Did it really matter what form Death might take?

Aaron Schwarzwald had never been a small man, but these days his appearance was like something out of the Old Testament. Clear blue eyes, a flowing white beard that would have put any Abrahamic vision of God to shame, and deep-set, nordic eyes under a heavily furrowed brow – so when the ferret addressed Aaron he did so now from a decidedly inferior position.

“Herr Doktor Schwarzwald?” the ferret said.

“That would be me.”

“I am August von Schellenberg, of the Reich’s Ministry of Civil Appropriations.”

“Is that so.”

“Yes, that is correct,” the ferret said, producing a bundle of papers out of his briefcase then attempting to hand them over to Aaron, who of course let them drop to the floor. “I am here to inform you that the Reich has been authorized to pay you five hundred kroner for your house and all the contents listed herein. You have twenty four hours to vacate this residence.”

“Indeed.”

“Should you not relinquish the residence by 0900 tomorrow morning you and any other residents will be forcibly removed.”

“How nice.”

“Excuse me? Do you not understand what I have told you?”

“Of course I understand you, you stupid pig,” Aaron said, taking the tip of his cane and driving it with all his considerable might into the ferret’s larynx, crushing his windpipe and causing the human being within to slowly suffocate as he fell to the cobbled walk.

Automobile doors opened and closed, troops came rushing to von Schellenberg’s assistance – but too late, for the ferret-faced man died there right in front of his murderer.  Then the troops on the walkway parted, making way for a full colonel in the SS – who now walked up to Aaron Schwarzwald.

“And who are you, little man?” Aaron said to the colonel, looking into the man’s coal-black eyes, studying the contours of the Hate he had been waiting to come for so many years.

“I am the man who will end your waste of a life, little Jew,” the colonel said as pulled a holstered pistol from his black leather belt and brought it up the Schwarzwald’s face.

“Curious. I thought you would be…taller.”

The colonel’s Luger barked once and Aaron fell to the cobbled walk, and he died beside the man he had just murdered.

“Clean up this shit,” the colonel said before he turned and walked back to his Mercedes…

…but he saw a beggar sitting on the sidewalk across the street, so – with his pistol still drawn – he walked to where the beggar was sitting. The colonel saw that the beggar was a blind man, and that he had an old tin cup extended, and there were even a few coins inside the rusted little cup.

“So, old man, tell me. Are you blind?”

“Excuse me, but yes – and who am I addressing?”

“Just a passerby. Did you hear something just now?”

“I thought I heard a motor backfiring. Did you hear it, as well?”

“Yes, but it was nothing,” the colonel said, holstering his Luger and tossing a coin into the beggars cup. “You be careful, old man.”

“Thank you, kind sir. Be well.”

The colonel watched the beggar for a moment, then turned and walked to his Mercedes and the driver closed the door behind him. A moment later his Mercedes drove off, and a few minutes after that an ambulance appeared and medics loaded von Schellenberg’s body inside and drove away, and a half hour after that, after the remaining troops had looted the inside of the Schwarzwald residence, they tossed Aaron’s body in the back of their lorry and headed to a barren field outside of the city, and they joked about crows having a nice meal that afternoon…

The blind beggar slipped into the shadows and took off his dark glasses, then he put his cup and the glasses in an old cigar box and put them back it their hiding place under a hedgerow, because, who knew? – maybe he would have to use them again. Then Saul Rosenthal wiped away a tear or two, but he really didn’t have the time to spare for such brief sorrows now. He needed to go to his safe house now and change, get his papers in order and begin the next part of his journey…to Berlin.

He turned once and looked at the old house, the house where he had spent so many joyous evenings with Imogen, and too many heated discussions with Aaron over the many years of his brief existence, yet he knew deep down inside all that was at an end now. He turned away and began making his way towards the docks, whistling a happy tune as he walked through the crowded streets of bustling Copenhagen.

The Isthmus, Santa Catalina Island, California                                 June 1997

They were immature males, but there was a lot of blood in the water and Taggart simply wasn’t going to take any chances. Even an eight-footer could do a lot of damage, and two of them could seriously fuck-up someone’s weekend…

He looked at his air gauge then kicked over and looked at each student divers’ gauge, one by one. 

“Breathe easy, slow down,” he wrote on his slate, then he went by each one again, shooting them the okay sign, trying to reassure them. He scanned the area where the two male Whites had disappeared and saw not a thing, so he popped some air into his vest and rose about fifteen feet and then did a slow 360 degree sweep. The sun was still up, though just barely, and he needed to get to the surface and see what was going on. He knew that he could get everyone up and onto Spree III if needs be, but that could prove problematic as the night wore on and it wasn’t the best option – yet it might prove the only option, so he wanted to get topside and get the skipper prepared in case it came down to that.

Taggart popped another short burst of compressed air into his BC and began to slowly rise, and he surfaced next to the aft swim ladder and called up to the skipper.

“Hey, it looks like there are a couple of Whites over there by that runabout!” the skipper said, pointing to the spearfishing idiots trying to get out of the water a hundred yards away.

“No shit, Sherlock,” Henry snarled. “Look, I got eight people on our anchor rode and I think there are two too many Whites between us and the dive boat…”

“Right. I’ll get the ladder ready.”

“Throw out about ten lines, okay? I want to at least tie-off BCs and weight belts. These kids will never make it up that ladder with all that fucking gear on.”

“Right! How about carabiners? Would those work?”

“Hell yes! The more the merrier!”

“On it!”

Taggart held his purge valve overhead and deflated his vest, sinking rapidly to the bottom, and he wrote out his plan to the Divemaster-trainee and then swam over to William and began writing on his slate again. “Come with me now. I want you up on deck to pull people up the ladder. Remember to breathe on the way up…ascend no faster than your bubbles…remember?”

The Kid shot him the okay sign and Taggart led him to the surface and showed him how to get his vest tied off and then got him up the ladder before he dove again. He passed the Divemaster on her way up with one of the students, and one by one he sent them up – until there was only one left down there with him.

Debra Sorensen looked at him, still wide-eyed but not breathing too hard now, but then he looked at her pressure gauge and that was all he really needed to know. She’d sucked down almost all her tank so he handed her his octopus and took her hand, then turned to check their surroundings before starting up one more time.

It way up looked clear enough but the sun’s light was now almost completely gone, but he could still see Spree’s stern in the last of the light as he started up.

And he saw her then.

A big female, a Great White – maybe an eighteen footer, and she was coming back from where those two spearfishing idiots were – and this one looked hungry.

And no Shark Dark. 

He reached down to his ankle and freed the almost useless little dive knife there and held it out at the ready, but the White saw the motion and turned his way. Her mouth appeared to be almost a meter wide and all he could see was row upon row of jagged triangular teeth – and then he was looking into that singularly black eye as she swam past…now only about five feet away. She swam on lazily by, out to maybe fifty feet, then she turned again and started back their way, taking her time, judging the danger.

Taggart popped some air into his BC and continued their ascent, but he kept his eyes on the White, and on that all-seeing black eye, as she closed on them once again – only this time she came in close and roughly nudged Taggart with her snout, trying to see how he’d react – then she swam off again and he looked up, guessed they were still only about halfway to the surface…

The White’s bark arched a little, a sure sign she was getting ready to attack, then she turned to make her run, and Taggart pushed Debra towards the Divemaster waiting by the ladder then swam away from the boat, heading deeper as he sped away…

‘I can lose her if I make the rocks,’ he thought, pushing his fins through the water with everything he had…but no…they were too far away…so he turned to face her head on…

He saw the streaking black and white shadow of the orca just then, and he watched as the big male slammed into the White, right into her gills, and the shark wheeled and lashed out at…emptiness…yet seconds later the orca hit the White from underneath, ripping her belly open in the process and sending billowing clouds of blood and guts into the current…and then her body slowly slipped down to the seafloor.

The orca came up alongside and offered his pectoral, and Taggart knew, really knew this was the same one he’d met in the lagoon over Christmas, at Bora-Bora. The markings, the eyes, all the same…but how could that be…

He carried Taggart back to the ladder and left him there, but he circled around once and came back to Henry and they stared at one another for the longest time, each not wanting the moment to end, yet each now knowing that it never really could. Henry felt Debra by his side again, and she reached out and rubbed the orca’s warm skin under the eye – then the orca surfaced for air and disappeared into the night, smiling at a pulsing star overhead before he turned once again and continued his journey north.

© 2021-22 adrian leverkühn | abw | adrianleverkühnwrites.com all rights reserved, and as usual this is just a little bit of fiction, pure and simple.

(Oliver, Good Morning Starshine)

(The Pat Metheny Group//To The End Of The World)

Forgotten Songs From An Imaginary Life, Chapter 13.4

A Housee no windows

Another quick trip down the rabbit hole, perhaps a good time for some cardamom tea?

Part III: The House With No Windows

Chapter 13.4

Beverly Hills, California                                May 1997

Debra Sorensen’s baby never materialized, except, perhaps, in the unsettled dreams that followed long after her return from the sea. She remembered giving birth – on some kind of ship – yet she never saw the baby. She’d been surrounded by feathered creatures who all seemed most excited about…something…yet she considered all these memories suspect. There had never been a time since Henry Taggart brought her up from the sea that any of those experiences had felt real, and how could they have? She’d been gone for – what? A half hour? Not even that long? And yet she’d felt as if she’d been on some sort of space ship, for months? How was any of that even possible – except, perhaps, within the soft, womblike confines of her dreams…?

Or – worse. For she soon wondered if these were the opening delusions of an onrushing madness?

Because even William seemed different after that trip. Fully caught up in all the trappings of wealth now, he absolutely loved driving around West LA in her Porsche, the bright yellow Cabriolet as flashy as a peacock, and that seemed to suit his needs completely. He loved showing up at Spring Training in her car, his teammates drooling in jealous envy as he got out from behind the wheel and jogged into the clubhouse before practice. There were times now when Debra felt like the real patsy, like she was being used – yet hadn’t she once used William for something quite similar? Hadn’t he become her very own declaration of independence, from her father? Wasn’t she just getting her comeuppance now? 

One thing was becoming clear, however. William was getting more and more interested in making movies, of getting into the film school at USC, and her father had proven more than willing to help make that happen. Her father had actually encouraged this interest, but Debra could see this development for what it really was: a means to an end, a way to control William…and so, in effect, yet another way to control her.

Yet there were two other sides to William, two facets of the same obdurate stone. He loved playing football more than anything else in the world, and she knew that included her, too. And the other part of the stone wall standing between them? It was that one part of his life he seemed most willing to obscure – his other, earlier life in Montana. He could talk about his kid brother, Frank – and when he did it was always in glowing terms – yet he only rarely talked about his parents. Not even to her father. Especially not to her father.

So of course Ted had sent private investigators to Montana to find out what he could.

The reports had been disquieting. William’s father belonged to several questionable groups that maintained ties to national white supremacist organizations, including one neo-Nazi organization, and once that discovery was digested and under wraps Sorensen decided that William Taylor would never marry his daughter. He might help the boy with his career because, hey, you never knew, right? If the Kid did in fact make it into the Pros he might become useful, very useful indeed, so why not keep it simple for now, let Debra have her college fling and get all that out of her system, because right now Ted had other worries.

Ever since his father’s marriage to Deborah Eisenstadt, Ted Sorensen had made the trip to Israel at least a couple of times a year, and to simply visit with them both. She’d settled into teaching physics in Haifa, at the Technion-Israel Institute of Technology, so with his son’s help Anders Sorensen had purchased a house overlooking the Mediterranean Sea in the Shambur Hills, not far from campus, and the elder Sorensen had aged gracefully for a time, until Alzheimer’s came calling, anyway.

His father’s decline had been merciless and swift, and just months after Ted’s return from French Polynesia it was becoming clear that the end was near.

+++++

William sat across from Debra, in the middle row of the limo facing aft, and he watched her as she looked out the window. She’d insisted William come with them and Ted had reluctantly agreed; classes were out for the year now and she wanted William to know more about her family, to at least meet her grandfather and perhaps develop an understanding of that part of her life. She waxed and waned these days, vacillated between knowing that William was her ‘One and Only’ one day and not really knowing where they stood the next, but in the end she couldn’t see a life for herself that didn’t include him – so here he was. Ted was not happy about it, but…

William looked at Ted, now talking on some kind of telephone to the studio, then talking to the pilot of his new business jet about customs and immigration problems, then to one of his secretaries back at the studio, and to William it seemed like the man was simply little more than a juggler. Ted seemed to accumulate problems the way a steer attracts hordes of flying insects, naturally and inevitably, and yet Ted never, ever seemed to be even remotely happy, just like a steer. And for some reason William found that odd, yet comforting – like a familiar echo…

But comforting because all his work resulted in so much obvious wealth, and that wealth was an intoxicating attractant. ‘I could live like this,’ he told himself as they drove out Sepulveda to Imperial, and as men came out to meet their limo and carry their bags out to Teds new Gulfstream IV. Everyone was deferential, everyone’s eyes were full of respect. And why? Because Ted Sorensen had accumulated so much wealth, and so quickly, he had come to be considered something like a force of nature. Almost like a hurricane, he was considered something fierce and deadly. And in Los Angeles, as it was in much of the world at that time, such men were revered. Such men were envied, and perhaps they always have been – because wealth is power. Wealth is the ability to bend people to your Will, to twist truth and reason to a purpose, and William Taylor could literally feel all these things as he watched Ted Sorensen.

And he wanted to be just like him.

Yet a most curious thing was going on. William Taylor was beginning to think more and more of becoming someone just like Ted Sorensen, just as he was beginning to think less and less about Debra, and everything felt like an echo. Like it had all happened before.

But not Debra, who hadn’t seen that coming. No, not in the least.

+++++

After refueling in Geneva, Sorensen’s Gulfstream flew directly to Haifa and made a straight-in approach to runway 16, the pilot struggling to set the jet down on the numbers and quickly into full reverse thrust, as the runway was just long enough to accommodate the G-IV and not one inch more. A limo was waiting for them on the ramp and took them directly to the elder Sorensen’s residence on Margalit Street – just as the sun seemed to settle into the sea.

Deborah Eisenstadt-Sorensen took them to the patio, to where Anders sat in pooling confusion, and the old man was wrapped in blankets to ward off the looming chill coming in with the evening’s breezes. He did not recognize his son, yet for some reason he did see Debra for who she really was, and he patted the seat next to his own and bade her to sit and talk with him…

“Hello, Pa-pa,” she said, as she always did around him speaking in babyish coos, because he had always been her favorite person in the world. “How are you feeling today?”

“Better, now that you are here. Tell me, how is that school? Are you learning anything useful?”

“No, Pa-pa, nothing in the least useful.”

And he beamed at that. “Ah, that is good, because that is as it should be. You look happy, too.”

“Oh, I am, Pa-pa. I have brought me boyfriend, William. I wanted you to meet him.”

“The football player?” Anders said, turning to look at Taylor. “My God, but you are as big as a mountain!”

Ted watched all this quietly amazed. The last two times he’d visited Anders, he had barely been lucid, yet now, here he was as bright and open as he’d ever been. Yet his mother had cautioned him there would be days like this, only to be followed by days of foggy recollections – and an inevitable failing of physical functioning. But now, watching Debra, he realized he was witnessing something of a minor miracle…

“It’s nice to meet you, sir,” Taylor said, taking the old man’s frail hand in his own. “Debra has told me so much about you…”

“So much, indeed. There isn’t so much to tell, now is there, Debra?”

“Oh, Pa-pa, you know that’s not true.”

Anders inhaled deeply and turned to look at the last rays of the sun reaching for the stars. “Can you smell the cedars? And the lavender? Deborah planted lavender on the hillside last autumn. Is that not better than heaven?”

Debra leaned on her grandfather and hugged him. “It certainly is, Pa-pa. Better than heaven!”

“So, tell me about football, young Leonidas. What position do you play? Linebacker?”

“Excuse me?” William said, astonished. “Did you call me Leonidas?”

“But of course I did! And why wouldn’t I? That’s always been your name, has it not?”

Debra gave William a cautious nod, warning him to play along, to not rock the boat…

“Oh, it’s just that not many people call me that these days.”

“Ah, I understand. It wouldn’t do for everyone to understand, not yet, anyway.”

“Yessir.”

“So, you play linebacker, is that correct?”

“Yessir.”

“Middle, or outside?”

“Middle, sir.”

“Indeed. I am most unsure of this thing called a ‘Flex defense’…do you think you could explain it to me?”

“I’ll try, sir.”

“Thank you, my Leonidas. It was so good to see you once again, even after so much time has come between us…”

+++++

“What the hell was that Leonidas shit all about?” Ted Sorensen snarled once they were in the limo headed to their hotel.

“Yeah, that was weird,” Debra said, leaning into William as the Mercedes rounded a sharp curve.

Yet Taylor simply looked out the window and shrugged.

“Anyone ever call you that before?” Sorensen asked, only now a little less passive-aggressively.

But once again Taylor shrugged, adding: “Who’s Leonidas, anyway?”

It was a nice deflection and it might have worked, too, but Sorensen was good at reading people, especially when they were lying or even simply evading a question, and he saw all the telltale body language on the Kid just then – yet he decided to drop the matter…for the time being, anyway.

“Where are we staying, Dad?” asked Debra.

“Shit, I don’t know. Someplace downtown. Schumacher, I think is the name. We’ve stayed there before, I think.”

“Why didn’t we stay at the house?” she added.

Now it was Sorensen’s turn to evade the question, and though he simply shrugged if he’d wanted to tell his daughter the real reason she might not have understood. The real reason, he knew, was that the house smelled of Death now, his father’s death, and even though he’d first tried to confront his fear about losing his Old Man a few years ago he’d never really succeeded. When he’d last visited his father, and that had been about six months ago, he’d noticed the smell and it had unnerved him horribly. It wasn’t just the smell of urine, or even the ferocious halitosis, it was something more wicked than that, like something lurking in a dark forest, something just out of sight. Death had always been something easily rationalized away, something he knew happened to everyone sooner or later, yet he was the first to admit that the death of someone truly close to him had not happened to him…not yet.

And he had a hard time thinking of his father not being around. Of not being able to pick up the ‘phone and talk to his Old Man, even if only to talk about the weather or, yes, even about football – which for some reason Anders now watched all the time. What would he do, how would he feel when that voice grew still and unreachable?

“Anyone hungry?” Sorensen deflected, knowing full well the Kid was Always Hungry, and that Taylor could seemingly never eat enough.

“I could eat,” Taylor said, looking hopeful that an all-you-can-eat buffet might spring up around the next bend in the road.

“I remember a good place down by the water, Lebanese, I think,” Debra said, recalling her last trip here a year ago.

“Oh, right, the Ein ElWadi. It’s one of Dad’s favorite spots, too. Let’s go now before it gets too late,” he said to the driver, who made a couple of turns and headed for the old quarter along the north beach.

The neighborhood felt almost ancient – yet curiously rundown, too, and even the tiny restaurant seemed like a place lost in time, like the echo of an afterthought. The main room was little more than a vast stone vault, and several tables sat under flickering torchlight, yet Debra beamed as they walked inside and she quickly found an open table. The proprietor came over and dropped off menus – and for some reason he seemed to remember Debra from her last visit…

“Meez Debra?” he asked, smiling when he was sure it was her.

And when Deb turned to the old man she smiled again and then jumped up and gave him a huge, heartfelt hug. “Kali?” she cried. “Oh, I am so happy to see you!”

And while Taylor was of course clueless, Ted remembered that night, and he was only too happy to have the day’s somber mood washed away by such a trifling memory, so he too stood and shook the old man’s hand. A carafe of wine appeared, then plates and bowls of hummus and tabouli and lamb and then even Taylor seemed to get into the swing of things – after a few glasses of wine, anyway – and before too long the old man pulled out something that looked and sounded something like a mandolin and he started playing simple, soulful music that did indeed seem to make time stand still.

When the kid began to look well and truly snockered, Ted turned and looked William Taylor in the eye: “So tell me, Leonidas, in this other world of yours, just who is my father to you?”

“Your father?” Leonidas said bitterly. “He is our father, as if you did not know that!”

“And what is his name?”

“Drink your wine, Brother. This game ill suits you!”

“Leonidas, perhaps it is the wine, but please, tell me our father’s name…”

“Anaxandridas, Brother, as if you could forget the man, or even his name…”

And when he heard the name of Anaxandridas Ted Sorensen felt caught inside a vortex, everything in sight disappearing under a cloak of piercing starlight, so he closed his eyes – hoping the spinning would stop…

“Dad? Are you okay?”

He looked up, saw Debra in the torchlight and he felt the unashamed look of concern in her eyes, so he took a deep breath and nodded. “This is indeed potent wine. I haven’t felt like this since…”

And the flickering torchlight flared and once again he was trapped in the spinning vortex, once again he felt his understanding of the world slip into something like molten quicksand, and overhead fields of stars streaked by as he realized he was sinking deeper and deeper into the porous sands of an hourglass…

“There, there, brother!” he heard the Kid say from someplace far away. “Come, come, Cleomenes, surely you do not expect me to carry you all the way to your quarters?”

Sorensen opened an eye and the spinning vertigo eased a bit…

“Leonidas? Is it you? Truly?” Sorensen asked when he eyed the Kid.

“Yes, Brother, and you are indeed very, very drunk once again, so let us get you to bed before you make an even bigger ass of yourself!”

He felt himself falling after that, falling through a series of endlessly impossible dreams. For he realized he was indeed a king again, and he was in fact a Spartan king, and yet through the tattered remnants of his night he came to realize that he was, like another father, oh-so-slowly losing his mind…if not going insane…

Again…

+++++

When he crawled out of bed the next morning he realized he was in a hotel room. The Schumacher Hotel, he remembered, and he was, therefore, in Haifa, and then, suddenly, he heard an incessant knocking on the door.

“Mr. Sorensen! Mr. Sorensen!” came a steely yet almost hysterical voice. “Are you awake?!”

“Coming,” he growled – as he found a bathrobe hanging in the closet and slipped it on, almost forgetting to tie it closed as he stumbled to the door. “What is it?” he said as he unlatched the door and opened it…

He thought he saw echoes of a Spartan hoplite standing there, but then he recognized the hotel manager. “Yes? What is it?” he asked.

“It is your father. They are taking him to the hospital.”

Suddenly wide awake, he nodded and looked around, still not sure of his surroundings.

“Can you get my driver, have him pick us up…?”

“It is already arranged, Mr. Sorensen, and my brother is getting your daughter as we speak.”

“Thank you, Nabil. I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

The hospital was nearby and the mid-morning traffic was light’ – and they were at the emergency room entrance within minutes. Deborah met them just as they walked in.

“What’s happened?” Ted asked.

“He just stopped breathing, Ted. I’m so sorry. I tried CPR until the medics arrived, but I think he’s gone…”

He felt light-headed, preternaturally weak as his tears came, and William Taylor came and put an arm protectively around him.

Ted looked up at the Kid and he was surprised to see that his eyes, too, were full of tears. “Thank you, brother,” he said to Taylor.

And still Debra had no idea what was going on between her father and her boyfriend, but they were still both acting a little weird. Last night at the restaurant had quickly turned surreal, especially after the music began, and she had herself felt a little out of sorts for a while. Now, looking at William and her father, she wondered why…

© 2021-22 adrian leverkühn | abw | adrianleverkühnwrites.com all rights reserved, and as usual this is just a little bit of fiction, pure and simple.