First You Make a Stone of Your Heart, Part 4 – Fist of Fire

First Heart OWL1 image LG-2

A very brief riff here, just to see us on our way. Not enough time for tea, just a quick dart in and out – as the Old Man might say.

I know this is of little interest, but I managed to run across some of the latest Covid variant, and so I have now officially joined the ranks of the infected. The first day was just miserable, but by the end of the day I had my Paxlovid in hand and started down that road. Next morning much improved, and by day five I almost felt sort of human again. At any rate, stay safe out there. The bug is still out there, patiently waiting to catch you unawares.

So of course for music let’s go back to Trevor Rabin and give a listen to his Big Mistakes again…in honor of my not properly keeping up with my Covid vaccination dates. Shame on me. Bad writer! Very bad! Or…more in keeping with the storyline today, you might listen to Zeppelin’s No Quarter, but maybe that’s just a little too over the top? So, perhaps Pink Floyd could come to the rescue with One Slip? So much music, so many ways to go…and time seems almost endless, doesn’t it?

First You Make a Stone of Your Heart, Part 4 – Fist of Fire

4.1 

San Francisco, California

An old green park bench in dappled shade, one of many that line the water’s edge along the Little Marina Green. Towering eucalyptus cast sentinel shadows across green grass spotted yellow here and there by passing dogs, and a lonely looking girl sits on the bench looking at the nearby St Francis Yacht Club, her auburn hair adrift on errant breezes in amber twilight. She is wearing a navy surplus peacoat and looks to have bundled up against the usual blustery winds passing through the Golden Gate; now she is watching passersby as they make their various ways to waiting homes; warm homes, she imagines, full of warm, smiling faces she will never know. She listens as a gaggle of teenagers scoffs by, as usual riffing on Joe Montana and Jerry Rice, and for a moment she watches them throwing their footballs on the green, proud forty-niner fans in their crimson and gold sweatshirts. Yet she is not really a watcher, and she does not want to know these people. She is waiting, waiting as patiently as any predator might. She is here to look at boats, sailboats mostly, as they return to their berths in the yacht club’s tidy little marina, and she sits up intently when the boat she is waiting for comes into view.

The yacht, a twenty year old Swan 41, is aswarm with people, deckhands in the lingua franca, some tidying up impossible piles of colored rope, others standing along the lifelines, readying mooring lines as the yacht’s helmsman makes for the Swan’s berth. The helmsman, she sees, is the young boy she seeks, and the older man standing behind the boy, pointing out hazards along the way ahead, is his father.

She studies the boy’s features, comparing them to the man behind, and even from this distance the similarities are striking. Movements and mannerisms are alike, let alone the nuanced, all-knowing nods to their place atop the local hierarchy; she looks at the boy and sees a man who will soon command destinies. A boy who, given the chance, will alter human evolution in ways few will ever comprehend. The boy is dangerous, a coiled viper readying to strike, yet those around him smile and joke as if all their futures are assured, as if the boy is poised to simply follow in his father’s footsteps. They bask in the man’s power, his money, as if the danger they court is a substance within their ability to control.

A stir around the yacht’s companionway. An auburn haired woman emerges from below, her scarlet sweater aflame in the low sunlight slanting in through the Gate. The boy smiles, his passion for her glowing for all to see – and, perhaps, to feel.

Even from this distance, set back among the towering eucalyptus, the Old Man in the cape  stands in the stillness of deep shade, and he studies the woman on the park bench. She has been careless, should have never exposed herself to the many dangerous forces gathering to strike anyone who might challenge the boy, or alter the destiny he alone conveys – and then he sees the woman on the boat. She is a twin of the woman on the bench, one of Richardson’s women. The dangerous ones, and he realizes he’d never expected to find them both here, so this was…something new. Something beyond the established timeline. And therefore something quite dangerous…

The woman on the boat stands tall and looks around – until her eyes land on the woman sitting on the bench in the park – and her eyes pause there, then they seem to drift on a moment…as if seeking communion…

…but then the woman on the bench suddenly stands and turns around; her predator’s eyes quickly penetrate the strangers obscure sanctuary. The Old Man can feel her eyes boring into his own, then he feels the woman on the boat reaching into his mind, probing his thoughts, and he retains just enough presence of mind to swing his cane and flee into the darker recesses of a future yet to be.

The woman on the park bench almost smiles at the opportunity she has just missed. But she knows this will not be the last time they try to stop her.

© 2024 adrian leverkühn | abw | adrianleverkuhnwrites. com | this is fiction, plain and simple.

Parting tune? Nothing like falling back on perfection, as in Watching and Waiting by the Moodys.

First You Make a Stone of Your Heart, 3.4

Amaranth 1

Some twists and turns here. Have fun, and yes, plenty of time for tea.

I ran across this piece of music a couple of days ago, Modern Blues by Elan Noon. Kind of a quiet shade of Paul Simon here, but look up some of his lyric compositions. He’s been called a genius and I can see, or rather hear why. His Facebook page has something like 600 followers, which I think kind of sad – in a Nick Drake sort of way. The album is called Color Story and is on AppleMusic; I didn’t check out the other streamers.

3.4

First You Make a Stone of Your Heart, Part 2 – The Amaranth

Beaufort, South Carolina

A park bench in shade, one of many that line the water’s edge. A red brick walkway, uneven, worn down by time and shaded by overhanging live oaks – some draped with lingering strands of Spanish moss. A woman, a uniformed woman, dressed as a chef – perhaps – or perhaps a waitress. She looks care-warn, almost depressed as her mind processes the words on the sheet of crisp, white paper in her hand.

She sits on one of the benches by the water’s edge, lost inside a rose garden of meandering implications, not quite sure how to proceed amongst the thorns, not at all sure what even her next step might look like. She turns away from the paper and shakes her head – a brief, imperceptible shake to the casual passersby – as she watches the incessant parade of boats and barges moving along this stretch of the intracoastal waterway, and she wonders where all the people out there are headed. A marina to her right is full of boats – but rarely do people head down the ramps and board one of them.

She looks down at her phone and checks the time – it is one fifty in the afternoon so she must go up to the restaurant now – one last time. The notice in her hand has advised that after almost 90 years both the restaurant and the inn will be closing…for good. Today will be her last day of work, and despite all the swirling uncertainty ahead she doesn’t know quite what to feel. She has worked in the kitchen for a few years yet she has few friends.

A freshening breeze fills in from the north and little arcing williwaws race across the water. She watches the passing boats for a moment longer then shrugs before she turns and walks through the little park to the inn.

Marine Corps Air Station Beaufort (Merritt Field)

The civilian yacht had been tied-off at the fueling docks at the end of Quilali Road, adjacent to to a row of patrol boats lined up like sharks’ teeth lined up with their bows pointing into the intracoastal waterway. All of the patrol boats were on alert, their gun stations reporting manned and ready; two Block Three F-35Bs circled ten thousand feet overhead, their sensors trained on the seaward approaches to Beaufort and Hilton Head island, while an Air Force RC-135S ‘Cobra Ball’ MASINT aircraft orbited the area at flight level three-four-zero, her medium wave infrared array turned skyward as her operators watched, and listened to, Russian and Chinese satellite operations half a world away.

A half hour window was about to open, and during this brief pause in satellite surveillance a civilian Gulfstream would touch down at Merritt Field; its three passengers would be rushed to the waiting yacht and the business jet would takeoff and return to her original routing to Jacksonville, Florida. Once everyone was aboard, the yacht would cast off her lines and head to the seawall off Chambers Park, in central Beaufort, and tie up for the night. And this would mark the beginning of the most dangerous, not to mention consequential, part of the operation.

Admiral James ‘Spudz’ MacKenzie sat in the radio room just aft of the yacht’s bridge, talking with the colonel in command of the old Boeing circling miles overhead. “Anything new?” MacKenzie asked.

“Nothing,” came the crystal clear reply from Colonel Jim Parker. “No changes in orbital trajectory; no launch detections. Congrats, Spuds. Looks like you spoofed ‘em.”

MacKenzie nodded while he looked at the countdown timer on an adjacent display, then picked up the mic to VHF COMMs 3: “Merritt, Nord 1. Stop repeat go.”

“Go repeat stop,” came the static-filled reply. 

MacKenzie switched over to Merritt’s main tower frequency and listened-in as the Gulfstream made its approach; as soon as the jet was on the ground MacKenzie turned to Command Master Chief Jim Turner and nodded. “Secure all fuel lines, standby to cast off.”

“Aye, Admiral.”

“Tanks full?” MacKenzie added.

“Seventeen thousand, five hundred gallons onboard, Sir. Fuel pre-heated and polished.”

“Okay, Jim. You better go see to the deck.” Turner saluted and started to turn – but MacKenzie stopped him, then hastily added for the umpteenth time: “And Jim, in case you’ve forgotten…please recall that I am in fact retired. Okay? No salutes? Understood?”

“Yes, Admiral.”

Turner had been with MacKenzie since the late-90s, during his two years as CO of the Constellation, and he’d been with MacKenzie ever since. First following him to the Joint Analysis Centre at RAF Molesworth and then on to the Pentagon, when the freshly minted admiral began working in the Joint Intelligence Center, he tagged along when MacKenzie was sent to the White House as the president’s naval attaché. With the president twisting his arm, MacKenzie spent his last year in uniform working with the State Department’s Bureau of Intelligence and Research before, once both had officially retired, Turner joined his admiral when he took a position at Northrop-Grumman – until the very same president twisted MacKenzie’s arm – once again – and sent him back to the Pentagon – again – this time as Secretary of Defense.

And that, Turner had wittily observed more than once, was when things got really weird, and soon turned very, very dark.

Beaufort, South Carolina

The mood in the inn was very, very dark, way beyond palpably depressed. People who had worked in the inn’s restaurant, and for quite literally decades, had no frame of reference to deal with their sudden unmooring. Cast adrift as if miles from shore and with no idea which way to swim, the older waitstaff and kitchen crew had devoted their professional lives to carrying on the restaurant’s fully justified 144-years-old reputation. 

She watched these people going about their routines as if they were functioning on some kind of emotional autopilot, their forced smiles and easy shrugs worn like masks to hide the cascades of emotion she assumed each felt. She hid behind her work, carefully shaved a handful of fresh shards from a new block of parmesan and placed them ever-so-delicately atop a perfectly prepared bowl of shrimp & grits, then sprinkled thinly sliced rondels of crisp green scallion on the cheese. She looked over her plates, as always her own worst critic, and hit the pickup light to summon the waitress who would serve her creation.

She turned and looked at the clock over the door that led to the dining room and saw they were down to their final hour, and just then one of the waitresses she had grown friendly with walked into the kitchen and up to her.

“Well, well, well…lucky you,” the old waitress asked. “Guess who’s coming to dinner?”

Sara Caldwell simply shrugged off the question, because in a way none of that mattered anymore.

“It’s your favorite customer, if you know what I mean?” the waitress added a little too salaciously. 

“Spudz?” she asked. “Really?”

“He just got off a boat and is walking through the park right now.”

“That’s not a boat,” Lucien Rousseau sighed, “that’s a yacht…with a capital Y.” Lucien was the youngest member of the dining room crew and he usually waited on Spuds whenever he happened by – which wasn’t all that frequently – but he had appeared to take a real interest in Caldwell several months ago. Whenever he was in town he made it a point to visit the inn and always made it a point to speak to Sara, complimenting her skill in the kitchen and usually asking her to take a walk with him after the restaurant closed for the evening. He was always very polite, almost gentile; everyone referred to him as ‘old school,’ a real old fashioned gentleman, and she’d begun to look forward to his visits.

And now she suspected she’d lose even that modest sense of connection, too, and it hit her just then. This was what it felt like to miss someone, even though she and Spudz had never done anything more than take a few brief walks in the park together. He was polite, almost solicitously so,  and she often had felt that he really cared about her. Then again, she’d had no idea that he had a boat, or a yacht, or whatever Lucien thought it was, so in the end he was realistically little more than a stranger.

She went back to work and wasn’t at all surprised when his order for filet mignon Marchand de Vin came in; he always ordered the same thing, daring to change only what he had as an appetizer. And he always dressed for dinner, never came dressed casually. And as had always been the case, he finished his meal a few minutes after the restaurant closed and then asked to speak with her.

But tonight she really didn’t know how to proceed. Tell him about the inn closing, the restaurant too?

He was in the main dining room with his back to the kitchen, his close-cropped steel-gray hair instantly recognizable to her. She threw aside her caution as easily as she had her apron and did her best to smile as she walked through the remaining dinner guests, stopping to ask each table if their evenings had been satisfactory, and then she was there.

“Was your filet as you remembered?” she asked as she walked up by his side.

He stood attentively and walked around the table to the empty chair opposite his own. “Sara. Please, would you join me for a modest libation?”

This was something new; he was breaking their script, taking a new way forward.

She saw two untouched drinks on the table as he pulled out the chair; with his eyes he was asking, no pleading with her to join him, and she couldn’t resist the sincerity she witnessed there. She nodded and sat, and he went back to his chair and joined her.

“Drambuie,” he said, picking up his glass. “I hope that’s alright.”

She nodded and smiled. “It’s perfect,” she sighed, watching him watching her.

“Lucien told me the news. How are you holding up?”

“I haven’t…I really haven’t had time to process everything yet.”

“I can’t imagine. Any idea what you might do next?”

“No. None.”

He nodded and looked away for a moment, then turned and looked at the massive yacht tied-off by the benches in the park…

“Is that yours,” she asked.

“It is,” he said, turning back to face her.

“What’s her name?”

“Amaranth.”

She blinked rapidly then looked away for a moment, and he found he couldn’t take his eyes off hers.

“Isn’t that a type of plant?”

He nodded. “Yes, just so. However, in Attic Greek it translates roughly as immortal.”

“Ah. I remember one variety of the plant is called Love Lies Bleeding,” she said, now looking him directly in the eye.

“You have to love the British,” he rejoined, now watching her intently.

“How so?”

“Prolific gardeners. A bit florid, I suppose, but c’est la guerre.”

“Ah. So, you love the British?”

“I suppose we all have an affinity with our original homelands. I’m sorry, but the Drambuie isn’t to your liking?” he asked, noting that she had yet to pick up her glass.

“I don’t drink,” she said, her voice dull, flat, emotionless.

“Care to take a walk? I know, I know, it’s cool out, but…”

“So, you want to show me your etchings,” she replied, now smiling just so, almost provocatively.

“Would you like to come aboard?”

She stood and he stood quickly, reflexively. “Let’s take a walk,” she sighed.

They walked down the red brick promenade towards water and she found it impossible take her eyes off his brightly lighted yacht. It had three levels – that she could see, anyway – and the light gray hull and gleaming white superstructure looked huge surrounded by the blackness of night – almost looking like a ship suspended in the black ink of space.

“Amaranth…” she whispered. “Do you think yourself immortal, Spudz?”

“Me? Goodness, no. The sea, I think…the sea is immortal.”

“Where are you going now?” she asked, stopping and turning to look at him.

He shrugged, an indifferent, noncommittal shrug. “I’m not really sure yet.” He turned to face her, his eyes locking on hers, and for a moment he felt like he was back on the Connie, on her bridge turning his ship into the wind. “So tell me. If you could pack up and go right now, and I mean go anywhere, where do you think you might you go?”

“Far away,” she whispered without the slightest hesitation. “As far away as I could get.”

He reached out and took her hand, his eyes now boring into hers. “Sara, what…or who are you running from?”

She gently shrugged away from the question but then, after hesitating on the icy precipice of her indecision, she leaned into him, wrapping her arms around his waist, the side of her face settling softly, almost naturally against his shoulder. “I don’t…I wish I knew,” she just managed to say – before a sudden tremor passed through the moment.

Almost caught off guard, MacKenzie leaned into her, held her fast against the opposing tides of doubt and destiny, unsure what all this meant but wanting to meet the measure of the moment, the measure of her need. “I guess I probably shouldn’t mention this again,” he whispered, “but would you like to come aboard, maybe take a look around? With me?”

“When are you leaving?” she asked.

“Is there anything here you need? Clothing? Medications?”

“No. Not really.” She leaned back, not wanting to let go of him – or the moment. “Is there anything I could do?”

“Onboard? No, not really, unless you wanted to cook.”

“You…need a cook?”

He smiled, then just sort of shrugged, and like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar he rolled his eyes. “Well, I reckon we could make do with bologna sandwiches for a while.”

“How many people are onboard?”

“Three guests, and I’ve got five people helping out. People who used to work with me.”

“Oh?”

“Co-workers that, well, they’re all the family I have.”

“Is there room for me?”

“Yup. Your own stateroom, complete with head.”

“Do you think maybe I could stay with you for a while?”

His head canted quizzically just a bit and he felt a completely unexpected flush of excitement roll from his brow as he continued to hold her in his eyes. “Would you like that?” he asked after what felt like a lifetime had passed.

“I’ve been alone for a long time, Spudz. A really long time…”

He nodded, his eyes brimming with empathy. “So have I.”

“I’ve never really felt like I could trust anyone, you know? Not until I met you, anyway.”

His stomach lurched and knotted – and suddenly he felt like the lowest form of life there is – but he nodded and held her close. “I know, I know,” he whispered. “I’ve felt that way too,” he added, perhaps a little evasively.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, concern growing in her eyes as she heard – and felt – a darkening change come over him. 

“Sara, can’t you tell me what you’re running from? I’d really like to…no, that’s not quite right…I need to know…”

She pushed away gently, looked into his eyes – searching for the truth of the moment: “I haven’t broken any…no one’s after me…”

“No one?” he asked, his eyes cold and hard.

She looked away, then shrugged.

“Are you in any danger? Sara? Please, no evasions. I have to know.”

“I don’t know,” she sighed, suddenly tired of this life all over again. That was why she had run away the first time, and every time since. Only now she felt like she was running out of time. Like her life was running on empty and now, suddenly there was nowhere to run or no one to turn to – if only to make the noise all stop.

She needed more signal. Not this noise.

But then a voice called out – from within the darkness of Amaranth. 

“Admiral, it’s 22:30. Slack water in ten.”

MacKenzie turned to the boat and nodded, then he faced Sara. “The choice is yours, Sara. I’d love to have you with me on this trip…”

“You never answered my question. Could I stay with you?”

His acquiescence went unspoken; instead he simply kissed her forehead and took her hand. “Let’s go,” he said, finally, though he waited for her to make the first step towards his little ship.

She looked at the ship then gave his hand a gentle squeeze as she started down the bricks to the water’s edge.

+++++

Two hundred and thirty miles over head cameras within a NRO orbital surveillance satellite tracked her every movement, waiting for one of the small blue spheres to arrive.3.2

Spudz stood at the wheel, his eyes focused on the depth sounder and the forward scanning sonar, slowly, carefully threading Amaranth through the shifting mud and sand-bottomed channel after leaving the seawall. The sounder was showing just two feet under the keel, so Amaranth’s nine foot draft presented a serious challenge to the careless navigator. To make their departure more interesting, the first few hundred yards of the channel passed through a no wake zone, meaning his NordHavn 120 had to proceed with the twin throttles almost at idle, and contrary to expectations the best route for his deep keel did not follow the center of the channel. Instead, he guided her to the starboard, side of the channel – which was fractionally deeper.

Sara stood by his side, watching his hands. 

She had noted his hands the first time they met. They had looked clean and almost delicate, yet visibly very dexterous, and she’d at first thought he must be a surgeon – but no longer. She saw two throttles under his right hand now, yet he manipulated them individually; a little left forward throttle here, yet every few seconds, as the sounder and sonar painted a vibrant picture of the way ahead, he’d slip the right throttle into neutral, and occasionally into reverse, in effect yawing the vessel around underwater objects as he approached each one. It was slow-going, almost excruciating to watch – because one slip up here could drive the ship’s 850,000 pound displacement hull into soft mud. It would cost, she imagined, thousands to affect a recovery – under even the most favorable conditions.

He was steering for a flashing red light, and channel marker he said, and as they passed this mark he asked her if she could red the number painted on it.

“Two-forty, and the marker looks red, too.”

“Got it,” he sighed before his eyes left the sonar display. “Fourteen feet now,” he said absently as he began steering for the next marker, a flashing green light a few hundred yards ahead. “Oh, swell,” he snarled suddenly, and Sara looked ahead and noted that the air was condensing – which could only mean one thing: fog. Spudz opened another display and pulled up the outside air temp and relative humidity and grumbled something about dew point and that this wasn’t exactly the best time to run into dense fog, yet as they watched the air just above the water turned milky white…

…and Jim Turner walked onto the bridge and over the MacKenzie. He assayed the situation, turned on the radar and assigned that readout to the screen in front of the admiral, overlaying the radar’s information on top of the marine chart and putting the sonar’s screen on an adjacent display.

“Everything stowed?” MacKenzie asked Turner.

“Aye, sir.”

MacKenzie grumbled and shook his head, knowing that Turner would never be able to address him as anything other than the four-star admiral he’d been, then scanned the sonar display and corrected his course to clear a very large submerged tree limb. “This still a No Wake Zone?” he asked Turner, his attention still on the submerged hazard.

“Yessir, all the way to the bridge.”

MacKenzie noted the depth ahead was in the twenty foot range, so he let himself relax a little, but then he looked up and noted the fog had suddenly grown so thick he could no barely see the waving ensign on Amaranth’s bow. Instinctively he throttled back – until the boat was just maintaining effective steering speed – as he used the chart plotter and sonar to keep in the deepest part off the channel.

“I can just make out a green light to our left,” Sara said, and Spudz smiled.

“You’re going to be a good navigator, you know?”

She smiled too. “How do you know where to go?” she asked.

He pointed at the large screen just beyond the wheel and looked at her: “See the green boat icon here?”

“Yes.”

“That’s us, our current position, and that is accurate to within a few feet. The red line here is the route we’re following, and we need to stay as close to that as we possibly can. Look here,” he said, pointing at their position. “We passed Red 240 right there, at the bend in the river, and you saw the green light when we passed Green 241. The next is another green, 241A to our left, and the next one after that will be Red 242, beyond that one on our right, but look further ahead, to that red one.”

“Two-four-four, right?”

“Yup,” he said as he zoomed in on that mark, “but look at the depth by that one.”

“Ten feet?”

“Uh-huh, but if you keep to the middle of the channel here we have 14 feet, so if you cut the corner too close you can find quickly yourself in very shallow water.”

“Okay, I see that. But you can’t rely on that chart all the time, can you?”

“That’s right. Tidal rivers are tricky because the bottom contours are shifting all the time, but the nice thing about these charts is that they’re updated all them time, and I do mean all the time. Users that pass through here can report unexpected changes, and those reports show up as advisories on these charts. That’s actually a really big change from the way things worked just a few years ago, too.”

“What’s that line on the radar?”

“That’s the Highway 21 bridge to Port Royal.”

“Uh, Admiral,” Turner said, coughing under his breath, “I don’t mean to intrude, but you’ve been up for twenty hours. You really should hit the rack.”

MacKenzie looked at a GPS display and nodded when he saw the time. “Okay Chief, you’ve got the watch. Wake me at 0600 hours…uh, better make that 0530, and keep it at five knots in this fog.”

“0530. Aye, sir, and five in the fog.”

MacKenzies cabin was just aft of the bridge – on the same deck – so he hopped down from his helm seat and turned to Sara. “Shall we?” he asked as he walked to the short corridor that led to his cabin.

As she walked in she stopped and looked around. “This is really nice, Spudz. Elegant, I guess,” she said as she walked over to several framed pictures on a dresser. “You were a pilot?” she asked.

He walked over and stood beside her. “That was a long time ago, right after I got out of the Academy.”

“Annapolis?”

“Yup.”

“What kind of plane is that?”

“An EA-6B, an electronic warfare aircraft.”

“Were you ever in combat?”

He nodded. “Dessert Storm. I was the squadron CO then, then the Wing’s CAG, and then I went to surface warfare school, was XO on a cruiser before taking over as skipper of an aircraft carrier.” 

“Turner? He worked with you?”

Spudz nodded. “He’s been with me since the Connie…uh, the carrier.”

“Connie?”

“Constellation. She was the last non-nuclear boat. That’s here, there,” he said, pointing to one of the pictures.

“And you flew planes onto that?”

He nodded. “Feels like all that happened in another lifetime.”

“How so?”

He shrugged again, almost like it was a habitual gesture, quick and restless. “You sure you want to bunk out with me up here?”

“Would you mind?”

He shrugged again. “No, but I really need a shower.”

“I think I’d like a bath. Don’t suppose there’s one of those onboard, huh?”

“I’ll do you one better,” he said, walking to the huge sliding glass doors along the aft most wall, and as soon as he was within a foot or so the door automatically slid open and lights in the ceiling above a circular hot tub came on. “Water’s set at 102 Fahrenheit. Will that do?”

She walked out and looked at the tub and sighed. “Is there anything not onboard this thing?”

“I didn’t want a house, and there were a bunch of people I really didn’t want to leave behind so this kind of came to mind. I made a couple of good investments along the way, enough to live like this for a while, anyway, and when I talked to my friends they were all happy to sign on. There’s plenty of room and we’re planning on seeing the world we missed. Europe, mostly, then the Seychelles and Polynesia too. Then we’ll see.”

“Do you have anything I can wear?”

“Sweatpants, gym shorts, hoodies. Do you have a passport?”

She shook her head and looked away. “No.”

“Well, we’ll take care of that tomorrow. What about shoes?”

“What?”

“What size? I’ll ask the chief, see if we have your size onboard already.”

“Nine, narrow.”

“Got it,” he said as he walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a couple of bath sheets. He handed them to her and smiled. “Hop in when you want. I’m going to shower now,” he said, ready to return to the warmth of his cabin – but as walked in she followed him, and she did so all the way to his bathroom. He finally saw her in one of the mirrors and stopped, then turned and looked at her.

She reached out and unknotted his tie, then started to unbutton his shirt, and his lower lip started to tremble.

No one had expressly told him this might happen – yet he really didn’t understand why he hadn’t figured this out on his own, let alone what to do if she did – so he simply acquiesced. For a moment.

“Let me rinse off,” he sighed, “then I’ll meet you in the tub.”

She looked at him a little quizzically, then she saw the dilemma in his eyes, the conflict and uncertainty written across his face – and right then she knew that he knew. “Okay,” she whispered, but even she could register the defeat in her words.

He watched her walk back to the tub, and though she kicked off her shoes and slacks before she stepped up and then into the hot water – while still wearing her blouse and, he assumed, her underwear – before sitting down. He nodded then stepped into a cold shower and soaped off quickly, then slipped into a clean t-shirt and boxers before making his own quick dash out to the tub.

As he sat he just made out the highway bridge as Amaranth crept along through the dense fog, then he felt her come close and lay her head on his shoulder – again. He slipped his arm around her and pulled her close, and after that everything just sort of happened naturally.

Port Royal Sound

He woke with a start and looked at the clock on his bedside table and smiled when he saw 0525 on the pale blue digital display. Some things, he realized, never changed, and waking up minutes before the alarm sounded had always been a blessing – and a curse. Then he remembered Sara and rolled over, saw that she was already sitting up and watching him quite intently.

“You were so sweet last night,” he finally said, still felt a little shy. “So easy to be with.”

She held his eyes in her own and smiled with a warmth she’d never known. “You were my first.”

His eyes popped wide open as he processed those words. “What?”

“I’ve never wanted to before.”

A knock on the teak door, then Jim Turner’s voice boomed: “Admiral?”

“I’ll be up in a moment, Chief.”

“Aye, sir.”

MacKenzie dressed in plain khakis and slipped on a pair of sneakers and a navy blue ball cap and she watched him dress, never took her eyes off him.

“If you want to shower and change,” he began, “just help yourself to the sweats. Second draawer,” he added, pointing. “I’ll be at the wheel until 0600, then we can head down for breakfast.”

“Okay.”

MacKenzie went to the helm, noted they had already passed Saint Michaels Breakers and were coming up on Port Royal Channel Marker 7 and that their depth was ranging between 13 and 20 feet; the autopilot was engaged and Jenny Valdez was on watch. Valdez had been a Machinist’s Mate before pushing and shoving her way through SEAL training, and she’d been on Spudz’ security detail at the Pentagon. She was also Jim Turner’s main squeeze, and between the two of them there wasn’t anything onboard they couldn’t fix.

“Good morning, Admiral,” Valdez said, grinning. “Have a good night’s sleep?”

“I managed,” MacKenzie growled. “When do we clear the channel?”

“Six thousand feet to the Entrance Buoy, sir.”

“Maintain course until we’re ten miles offshore, then make zero-five-zero degrees at seven knots.”

“Ten offshore, zero-five-zero at seven, aye.”

He stepped outside onto the bridge and found Orion down hard in the southwest sky; he took in the brisk salt laden air then made a swing around the foredeck before walking aft to the steps that led up to the flying bridge. Once up in the unfettered breeze he settled into a helm chair and turned on the main NAV display and scrolled to the weather page. Temp was warming, the dew point falling, so before long they’d be out of the fog, and that was good, he thought. Radar was clear, AIS too, then he heard Turner coming up the steps.

“Skipper? How do you want to handle this?”

“Let me go down with her and get breakfast going. When she’s finished go ahead and bring them out.”

“You want me to stand by there while this goes down?”

He thought a moment, then nodded. “Better keep a sidearm handy, Chief. Just in cast.”

“Aye, sir.”

“Anything from the airdales?”

“A P-8 made a routine sweep an hour ago. There’s a Russian boomer off Savannah heading south, with at least one Virginia on his ass, and the Truman is off Hatteras doing workups and car-quals.”

“So nothing from our friend in Seattle?” MacKenzie noted, meaning the old spy on Puget Sound.

“Still docked at Shilshole, sir,” Valdez added.

“This doesn’t smell right, Chief. Something ain’t right.”

“I know. I feel it, too. All the missile boats have sortied, all the carriers, too. Docks in Norfolk are empty, Admiral.”

“Hell, been a while since we’ve seen that, Chief.”

“Better safe than sorry, sir, but I guess you know that.”

“Yeah. I’m pretty smart…for an officer, anyway.”

“I wouldn’t put it exactly that way, Admiral.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You need anything right now, sir? Coffee? Condoms? Penicillin?”

Spudz looked at Turner and shook his head. “No. Let’s head down and get this over with.” He turned of the display and stood, and the little ship was beginning to roll a little in the open roadstead, and just then Valdez upped the throttle and corrected to port a few degrees before settling in on her new heading. 

Turner led the way down the steps and MacKenzie found Sara Caldwell on the bridge standing beside Valdez. “Sara?” he said to her. “Let’s head down and grab some chow.”

“We’re being followed,” Caldwell said, her voice flat, emotionless.

Valdez looked at the admiral and shrugged. “Radar clear, sir.”

“Who’s upstairs?” he asked, looking at Turner.

Turner went to a clipboard and flipped a page. “Should be Pelican 3-0-1 out of Jax.”

“Have him run a MAD run and drop a line of buoy from here to Wilmington.”

“Aye, sir.” Turner went over to a radio and began keying in a frequency.

Sara was looking at Spudz, just now beginning to wonder what was really going on. “What’s a MAD, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Magnetic Anomaly Detector. An aircraft will fly along our route looking for any unusual magnetic influences, then comparing anything that pops to nominal datums for this part of the coastline.”

“Magnetic?” Sara asked. “You mean…something like a submarine?”

Spudz shrugged. “Let’s see what they turn up before we jump to any conclusions, okay? Now, let’s head down to the galley.”

MacKenzie disappeared down the stairway and Sara followed him, and then he showed her around the galley – which was immense and as well equipped as any she’d seen in her travels. Two Sub Zero refrigerators, a six burner induction cooktops, two dishwashers and a trash compactor were in the galley proper; in an annex just forward was a huge freezer and two commercial grade ice-makers. “Why such a big galley?” she asked.

And he shrugged. “It’s the standard arrangement. Lots of space for frozen stuff for long passages, and besides, who wants to eat PBJs for weeks on end?”

“Would you like me to cook breakfast?”

“Could you?”

“Sure. Just you and me?”

“No. We’ve got an engineer in the engine room, then Jim and Jenny. And we have three guests onboard, and one more down below.”

“So, breakfast for nine?”

“Yup. Think you can handle that?”

She poked around the refrigerators, then found some English muffins and decided on Eggs Benedict and home fried potatoes. She found several bags of oranges and an electric juicer then got to work, leaving Spudz with little to do but sit and watch her.

Which was, in and of itself, amazing. She moved with an impressive economy of motion, almost like she was trying to conserve energy with every move she made, and then she started to chop some shallots and her hands moved so quickly he could barely follow the motion. She poached eggs and sliced bacon, then set up a double boiler and fired off a Hollandaise while the muffins toasted. For good measure she sliced fresh honeydew melon and made her plates.

Turner came down and carried two plates up to the bridge, and someone mysteriously appeared and carried three plates forward, then the engineers arrived from below – with spotless hands – and carried their plates away, leaving her alone with Spudz…and once again she felt like everything had been pre-planned. He carried their two plates to the dining room – and that’s exactly what it was, she saw – and after he put them on the table he waited for her then pulled out her chair. And that, she thought, was a completely unexpected gesture.

He sat and immediately took a bite – then coughed a little to clear his throat. “Did you put cayenne in the Hollandaise?” he asked.

“Always,” she smirked. “Too hot for you?”

“No, not really. I just wasn’t expecting a hit like that at breakfast.” Then the little FRS radio on his belt chimed and he picked it up, toggled the mic. “Yes?”

“Admiral,” Valdez said, “first MAD run picked up a minor hit. Vermont notified and now en route, but  sir, there’s not enough water in here for a sub.”

“Have the P-8 drop a grid ahead of us, then let’s start a zigzag course; maybe they can pick up something that way.”

“Aye, sir.”

“What’s Vermont?” Sara asked.

“A Virginia-class fast attack sub. She’s assigned to the carrier battle group training off Cape Hatteras. If someone’s following us, the sub can pin her in shallow water.”

“I’m curious, Spudz. Why would someone follow us? Is someone after you?”

MacKenzie shrugged. “What do you think of our little galley?”

She stared at him, wondered what his real game was, but he was focused on his eggs – too obviously ignoring her question. “All the comforts of home, I guess.”

He looked at her then, his eyes cold and hard again, almost inquisitorial. “How ‘bout your home? Growing up, I mean? What got you interested in cooking?”

“I wanted to be…useful.”

“Surgeons are useful. So are engineers. Why cooking?”

“I don’t know, Spudz. Are warriors useful?”

He leaned back and looked seaward – out the adjacent wall of windows, and he had to think about that one for a moment. “In an ideal world there’d be no need. Then again, we don’t live in an ideal world, do we?”

“I tried medicine once, but I found it unsatisfying.”

“What? You were, you are a physician?”

She smiled. “That troubles you?” 

“No, not really, but it was – well, it is – a little unexpected, I guess, but let me add that to the list,” he smiled.

“You don’t trust me, do you?”

“Of course…but look, you wouldn’t be here if I didn’t, okay?”

“I don’t believe you. Who are the other guests onboard?”

“Let’s clear the table, do the dishes first, okay?” he said. She stood abruptly and went to the galley while he ferried their dishes and utensils to the sink. “I’ll rinse and you load,” he added, taking a minute to wipe down the obsidian granite countertops after they finished with the cookware.

Then he walked through the main saloon and out to the open aft cockpit, and she followed along without his asking, finally stopping at the rail and looking at the churning water in their wake.

“Why am I here, Spudz?”

“Try not to be angry, okay?”

“Angry? Why would I be…?”

They turned when the pneumatic door hissed open again, and Sara turned around – only to find Ralph Richardson, Sumner Bacon…and another woman that looked exactly like she did.

Her betrayal complete, she turned to MacKenzie at a complete loss for words. Not only did he know who she was, this Navy admiral had spent months, perhaps years setting up this moment, slowly seducing her to break cover and run again. But now she was trapped, unknown miles out to sea and in the hands of the two men she had run from more than once.

3.3

“Hello, Devlin,” Ralph Richardson said. “How are you?”

Sara/Devlin wheeled around and looked at MacKenzie, and if she projected anything at all it might have been despair. ‘Why didn’t I see this coming?’ a faraway voice deep inside asked. ‘What did I miss this time?’

“Why can’t you just leave me alone?” she sighed.

“Because you’re too dangerous,” MacKenzie. “What you’re doing is too dangerous.”

“Why, Devlin? Why? Peter Weyland…of all people. Why did you choose him?”

“Because,” she whispered, “of what comes next. I have to be there. I have to stop him.”

“Where?” Where is there, Devlin?”

“41°45’59.99″ North Latitude, 50°13’60.00″ West Longitude,” she said as she turned and looked at Spudz. “You know those coordinates, don’t you, Admiral?”

MacKenzie nodded slowly, and though his arms had suddenly, involuntarily crossed over his chest, he tried to project a kind of simmering nonchalance to counter the venom hidden within her words. “Yes, we can do that,” he said, though he felt somewhat light-headed as he tried to distance himself from the trailing sarcasm that she seemed to have left lingering just for him, “but why do you need us?”

“I can never be there as it was, Admiral,” she sighed, now afraid of him, wanting to keep some empty space between him and what she’d, until a few minutes ago, thought she understood him to be. Now, once again, she wasn’t sure of anything, only that she felt tired, defeated.

She slowly turned and walked out onto the twin platform, then slowly slipped out of the clothes she had taken from one of Spudz’ cabinets, then turned to face the early morning sun.

MacKenzie walked to Richardson’s side and knelt beside his wheelchair. “What’s she doing now?”

“Charging her fuel cells. She needs about a half hour a day.”

“I don’t think I ever really understood – until last night, anyway.”

“Tell me, Admiral. Did you fall in love with her?”

“For a moment I thought so, yes.”

“Did you feel anything from her? Something like love?”

MacKenzie nodded uncertainly. “I thought so, once.”

Richardson turned to Sumner Bacon and took a deep breath, then looked to his old friend for solace. “Then she may be the one, Spudz. Sumner? See if she’ll let you download a copy of her buffer.” Then he turned to the other woman waiting patiently by his side and sighed: “Go to her now, Eve. She’s feeling lost.” 

Spudz watched the other woman, this exact duplicate of Sara, as she stepped down onto the swim platform. ‘No, her name is Devlin,’ he told himself again. ‘I can’t let her run from that again.’ Jim Turner came up from behind and gently tapped him on the shoulder, then handed him a small notepad. He read the update from the P-8 now circling overhead, then turned and followed Turner to the bridge.

He looked at the tactical display Valdez had laid out on a folded chart of the mid-Atlantic coast, then he turned to Jim Turner. “Do we have any idea where Weyland is?”

“Our best information wound put him,” Turner said, “about four hundred miles east-northeast of Natal, Brazil, so somewhere near the Saint Peter and Saint Paul Archipelago.”

“Any idea which boat he’s got?”

“Again, our best guess is the Medusa II. She’s that 61 meter Feadship.”

“Range more than 3,000?”

“2,700 nautical – so she’s burned through some of that as it’s my guess she last took on fuel in Recife; that means she’ll have to take on fuel again, either in the Azores, or possibly Iceland – so we should arrive long before she does.”

“Jenny, get an encrypted channel to Truman, give Captain Anderson our ETA at Hatteras and advise we’d like him to shadow us. What’s the latest on that MAD contact?”

“Now intermittent contact, sir, about fifteen hundred meters off our starboard quarter.”

“When will Vermont get to our neighborhood?”

“Call it seven hours, sir.”

“Very well. Make our speed nine knots, and Jim, lay out a course to intercept Truman at that speed. I’ll be downstairs if you need me.” He stepped outside and walked up to the upper bridge and picked up a pair of binoculars, and with these he swept seaward, looking for anything out of the ordinary. He saw the P-8 Poseidon flying very low about a mile off to his right, and he saw a fresh line of sonobuoys being dropped, their parachutes opening before the small, gray, cylindrical buoys exited the heavily modified 737s aft compartment and floated to their splashdowns in the sea. He knew what was out there, at least if his briefings had been kept up-to-date.

With his binoculars still firmly in hand, he walked down to the aft cockpit and resumed standing beside Richardson’s wheelchair. “Anything new?” he muttered.

Richardson looked up at him and smiled. “Look aft, about 200 yards, Admiral.”

MacKenzie brought the field glasses to his eyes and scanned, the water on the tall, black dorsal fin gleaming in the sunlight. “Orca,” he said. “Looks like a lone male, and a big one.”

“Keep looking, Admiral.”

MacKenzie scanned the area slowly, quickly spotting two females and a couple of calves, then two more very large males bringing up the rear. “Geesh…a family, or part of a pod…”

“Look to port,” Richardson sighed, grinning.

“Holy Mother of God,” MacKenzie whispered. He’d never seen so many orca in one pod before, and he quickly lost track as he tried to count the dorsal fins. “Looks like at least fifty…maybe seventy-five. When did they show up?”

“Just after you left,” Sumner Bacon said. “Keep an eye on the closest one, the big male. He’s moving in now.”

Spudz didn’t need the binoculars now. The male was sprinting in, his dorsal fin easily six feet tall, his breath exiting the blowhole as visible as an old steam locomotive’s.

Eve and Devlin were now side-by-side on the swim platform, their heads tilted back, their arms wide  – as if harnessing the power of the sun to summon the pod.

Spudz pulled the FRS radio from his bely and called the bridge. “Jim?”

“Here sir.”

“All stop. Turn on all cameras to hi-res video record, and get what you can on audio.”

“All stop, aye sir. Pelican 3-0-1 just called it in. They’re picking up fifty five strong echos, and twenty-two faint. Converging course, one rapidly.”

“Ask 301 to record the intercept, will you, Chief?”

“Aye, sir. Engines answer all stop, both engines at idle speed and neutral.”

“Better stand-by on the boat deck, Chief, in case we need the Zodiac.”

“Already there, sir. Tank full, extra MOB gear ready to deploy.”

MacKenzie grinned; Turner was still reading his mind. He stepped close to the transom, watched as the big male came to within five meters of the swim platform, and then both Devlin and Eve dove off the platform and swam to the orca. “Two in the water, Chief,” Spudz said quietly. “Standby, but take no action yet.”

“Admiral?” Valdez interrupted. “3-0-1 wants to know if we need assistance with the MOBs.”

“Tell ‘em we’ve got this one, Jenny.”

“Aye, sir.”

He looked up, saw the P-8 in a tight radius, very low speed left turn just a few hundred feet overhead and he waved at the pilot, then smiled when he saw the gal waving back at him. Both Devlin and Eve were now treading water beside the big male, but the pods’ calves were quickly zeroing in on them, too. “Jim, launch the Zodiac, but head forward and maybe you’d better just loiter a couple of hundred yards away. Whatever you do, don’t close on the calves in the pod without hearing directly from me first.”

“Understood.”

MacKenzie went to the swim platform and secured the dive ladder off the stern, then he stepped back and watched the – for all intents and purposes – two identical twins communing with the huge male, their hands and faces in direct contact with his, just behind the huge brown eyes. One of the smaller calves drifted over and leaned into, he assumed, Eve, and then Devlin came over to be near Eve – and MacKenzie had the strangest feeling that introductions were being made. After the first calf arrived the remaining orcas, all of them, drifted in until the had formed a huge ball…

“Admiral, 3-0-1 just asked me to relay a question,” Jenny said.

“Go ahead.”

“The skipper up there would like to know what the hell is going on down there…”

“Better tell her we ain’t real sure our own fat selves.”

“Gotcha.”

“As soon as we figure it out we’ll let her know.”

“The skipper up there wants to know if you’re going in?”

“Please tell her, and a direct quote now will suffice, but Hell no I ain’t going in there.”

“She wants to know why not. It looks fun.”

“That’s because she can’t see the teeth on that male. Anyway, tell her I will – if she goes in first.” 

“Roger that.”

MacKenzie heard more than felt Richardson struggling to get out of his wheelchair, and he turned just in time to see the old man leaning over the stern rail, taking deep breaths. “You need a hand?”

“Oh, all I can get.”

Spudz stepped over and helped Richardson over to the gate in the transom, then helped him out onto the swim platform. “You going in?” he asked. More a little more incredulously than he should have.

Richardson nodded. “Good a time as any, I think.”

Sumner Bacon hopped down onto the platform, already down to his boxers, and MacKenzie just shook his head and took off his sweatpants and t-shirt, then he jumped off the boat and into the warmish waters of the Gulf Stream.

He heard a splash, then saw Richardson was side-stroking away from Amaranth’s stern, Bacon not far behind – and then Pelican 301 flew by, the PIC making a shrugging motion with her shoulders and hands…as in: “WTF is going on down there?” MacKenzie arced his right arm high up over his body and placing his hand on top of his head, making the universal ‘OK’ sign rescue SAR divers and downed pilots-in-the-water use to signal ‘all okay here.’ Then he too swam away from the boat, wanting to get closer to Devlin and Eve and the big male – more out of curiosity than anything else – but as he swam closer one of the larger females placed her body between the interloper and the human females. And when he tried to swim around her, she kept repositioning her body, fending him off – keeping them apart.

But then the big male released them and, in effect, pushed Eve and Devlin towards MacKenzie – and in the next instant the female orcas corralled the three of them, then swimming around them at a dizzying pace. The remaining males circled the female orcas and began swimming in the opposite direction, soon creating something of a maelstrom – with bubbling salt water soon turning milky, and then MacKenzie realized the ocean was beginning to smell heavy, almost musky, and for a moment he wondered if this was what orca semen smelled like.

And then Devlin – or was it Eve – was straddling him, frantically reaching inside his boxers then taking all of him in hand, the orcas pushing them closer and closer, so close that it was getting hard to breath…then the moment of the fire and the rain came for him – just before he passed out.

The dream was lucid, beyond any he’d experienced before. He was huddled in a steamship’s crow’s nest, standing watch on a bitterly cold night – when dead ahead he spotted a large iceberg – but when he turned to sound the alarm he saw Devlin – or was it Eve? – by his side. “There’s nothing you can do now,” the woman said, adding: “The water is very cold, isn’t it?”

As MacKenzie came-to, he found he was in the Zodiac, sprawled out on the floor near the center console behind Turner; Richardson and Bacon, as well as the two girls, were bundled-up in blankets, nicely cuddled-up in the Zodiac’s bow. One of the girls was staring at him, a knowing smirk showing faintly on her lips. When Spudz lifted his head a little he saw they were headed back towards Amaranth – but that they were apparently several hundred yards away from her – and when had that happened? The P-8 was circling overhead, and he realized that onboard cameras in the bottom of the Boeing’s fuselage had – apparently – been recording the scene for a while. That recording would be more than humiliating when the old team in J-2 got wind of it.

But what the devil had happened out there? Had he actually had intercourse with one of the women, and if so, what role had the orcas played in that – because the whole thing had begun to feel like a ritual or ceremony of some sort. The purpose being? And whose ceremony was it? Certainly not human, at least no cultural groups he was aware of practiced anything at all like this.

And what of the peculiar odor – and the milky sea water. Semen was altogether unlikely, and why had the orcas participated?

He’d had very little sleep for several days now and MacKenzie showered once he was back on Amaranth, then he locked his door and crawled under the sheets, yet as soon as deep sleep returned – so too did the dream.

3.4

He’d read the intel briefs, all of them, at least all he could lay his hands on. 

Claire Aubuchon’s rise through the Manhattan project, her friendship with FDR. That American 777 crash and the Dana Goodman incident on the bridge over LA Harbor, and now here was Sumner Bacon, a witness to that singular event, down in a stateroom right now. And Ralph Richardson, founder of Richardson Autonetics was here too, and Mark Stuart’s ‘Girl Friday’ Eve had come along with him. Why? He’d read one unforgettable briefing about the girls coming out of Richardson’s silicon valley facility in Palo Alto, girls that weren’t quite, well, human. Then came the most idiotic rumor yet, that FDR and Chester Nimitz were somehow still alive, working aboard some kind of colossal orbiting battle-star slash aircraft carrier – that always, somehow, seemed to evade terrestrial detection. And yet, Richardson’s girls routinely visited this supposed ship. All of it was, taken at face value, pure malarkey. 

But then, during his stint on the board at Northrop-Grumman, he’d seen his first ARV, the first real evidence of an advanced civilization beyond Earth’s. He’d seen firsthand, with his own eyes, a few of the technologies Grumman’s best people had managed to reverse engineer, and if even half of what they claimed was possible the planet’s energy crisis would soon be at an end. We’d be a multi planetary species within a few decades. The problem, he soon realized, was how to introduce these technologies to a gullible public. Slowly? To make it appear these magical technologies had been developed ‘in house?’ Preserve multiple generations’ scientific-religious myopia just a little longer? But how much longer could the planet wait?

Then again, MacKenzie thought, maybe that was the rub. Maybe whoever ‘lost’ this technology hadn’t exactly meant for something like that to happen. Maybe these spacefarers wanted their tech back, perhaps wanted to put the genie back in the bottle. To do so, they’d have to be very, very careful, wouldn’t they? 

But then MacKenzie had started to learn other truths. Darker, more dangerous truths.

The first bombshell revelation…? There were at least four different groups ‘out there’ watching events unfold on Earth, and at least one of these civilizations slipped through time as easily as we took our next breath. The implications were beyond staggering and plain to see in the light of day, so yes, of course, keep everything wrapped out in shadow. But, MacKenzie thought, what if multiple space-faring civilizations had developed similar time-warping technologies? What if these disparate groups had different expectations of what they wanted to accomplish here, if, for instance, each group might be looking to engineer radically different outcomes? Would they fight amongst themselves, when push came to shove, to prevail over the other factions?

But…what might happen if a group here on Earth – say a political group with ill intent? – what if they had made an alliance with one of these civilizations? What if Roosevelt had learned about it – somehow, maybe way back in the 1920s, and what if another group, one potentially more friendly to Earth, wanted to thwart the efforts of the ill intentioned group? What kind of world war might result from those alignments? And if just one of these groups could manipulate time? Then what? If they lost one battle could they just go back and stage a replay? Or endless replays…until they achieved the outcome they desired?

Then the second bombshell dropped. A very advanced but hideously damaged ARV, located at one of Sukhoi/United Aircraft Company’s R&D center in far eastern Siberia out on the Kamchatka peninsula, had been – literally – stolen in the dark of night – by an unknown agent. But now there was word that this ship was the most advanced ever recovered, was now located in central Washington state, and in the possession of Boeing’s Phantom Works. The Russian’s were beyond angry and making noises about punishing America and Europe and just about the time Spudz began thinking that things couldn’t get more screwed up, here comes bombshell number three: Richardson reported to the current SecDef that the so-called Adler Group, a neo-fascist cult located somewhere down in Argentina, was up to something possibly involving time travel. Then, just a few months ago, word was passed down that one of Peter Weyland’s yachts was now in play and reportedly heading north, and somehow Richardson had learned that Weyland’s objective had something to do with the Titanic.

And as soon as plans were set in motion to interdict that effort, Richardson had spilled the beans about one of his girls – Devlin, he called her – and how she had slipped through time and made contact with Weyland’s father, Peter Senior, allegedly sometime back in the early 1970s. Then she had mysteriously reappeared in South Carolina, clearly terrified about something she’d seen, or learned, from Weyland, and yet she was very clearly in contact with someone giving her tactical updates about Weyland, his evolving plans, and even developing actions the larger Adler Group in Argentina had – potentially – put into motion.

He’d been retired more than a year when the president called him again. He had just taken delivery of Amaranth out in Dana Point, California, and with his friends and former cremates he was off to see the world he’d missed. Polynesia, New Zealand, Cocos-Keeling and the Seychelles, then maybe Tanzania and Cape Town before heading to the South Georgia Island group and Tierra del Fuego, finishing their circumnavigation back in California in a leisurely five or so years.

He could put alien civilizations and their world changing technologies back in his memory warehouse and close that door for good, and he couldn’t wait to leave it all behind.

Then the phone call. The rushed flight back to Andrews, the seduction of all that power. The power to shape events, to change destinies. He’d found himself split – between wanting to run from all that Washington D.C. had become and still impossibly obsessed with the dynamics of the place. It was a giant, impossible chessboard where one bad move might end not just careers, but potentially human civilization.

Such power was a drug, maybe the most addictive there was, and he knew he’d been an addict for decades.

So when his president asked who was he to refuse?

But now, this? He hadn’t signed up for this. Or maybe he had?

He was still chilled to the core from his swim with the girls that day – and the swirling mass of orcas, and even after ten minutes under a hot shower he felt certain something was wrong. Not knowing what else to do, he walked out to the aft deck off his cabin and fired up the hot tub, then threw off his robe and climbed into the blissfully hot water. He settled into one of the molded seats and lay his head back and looked up at the sky as it quickly morphed from orange to purple and then to the all-enveloping black of the infinite, and trying all the while to put the day’s crazy crap out of mind – even for just a few minutes. Why was it impossible to simply shut off the noise, he wondered, to stop thinking for even just one minute? How, he wondered, could the human mind tap into an infinite silence…? 

Death offered such a retreat, but MacKenzie had fought death every day of his life. He hated death. And, he admitted, he was often quite afraid of death. What sane being wouldn’t be?

Sitting under the infinite, he realized that just a few years ago he’d never heard of any of these things, and yet now he felt like he knew too much. There was no way to compartmentalize these kinds of confounding information streams, simply because too many paradigms were shifting – all at once – and yet it seemed as if everything was about to come to a head…and sooner than anyone had previously expected.

He heard the automatic door from his cabin hiss open and turned, expecting to see Jim Turner – but no, it was one of the girls – standing there in a navy blue robe. He hadn’t been able to tell them apart since they had all clambered out of the Zodiac a few hours ago, but at least this one was alone – and she was slipping out of her robe and stepping into the hot tub.

“Are you still cold,” she asked, her nakedness overtly tantalizing.

He nodded. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so…I’ve never felt anything like this.”

“Why didn’t you marry, Spudz?”

“You know, pardon me for the intrusion, but I have absolutely no idea who I’m talking to.”

“It’s me. Sara.”

“I’d ask you to prove it, but I guess that would be pointless.”

She nodded. “Maybe so. Time will tell.”

“So, let me get this straight. You’re, technically anyway, human. Right?”

“Just like you.”

“But your systems are flooded with nano-robitic enhancements? Is that about it? You can’t age? You don’t get sick?”

She shrugged. “If there’s a warranty, I haven’t seen it,” she said quietly, her smile as seductive as it was beautiful.

“And you can travel through time, is that correct?”

“That’s not quite right. I was the second to have a limited ability to jump, but I have no real idea how to control it. My grandmother was supposed to be the first, we think. I’m not so sure about that now.”

“What do you mean…by…a limited ability?”

“It’s very hit-or-miss, Spudz. It’s not like I can just go to last Tuesday at noon. It doesn’t work like that, but then again, as I said…”

“It’s a limited ability. Right, I picked up on that.”

“I wish I could be more specific.”

He shrugged.“I appreciate the honesty. So, you gave me coordinates for Titanic, where she went down. You think Peter Weyland is heading there right now, don’t you?”

“His father is, I think, but there’s no way to be sure. Peter Senior learned of my ability, and that’s what set this whole chain in motion. His son is just the next link in this chain.”

“I see. The law of unintended consequences at work.”

“Sorry. Yes.”

“That leaves one big question. What’s going on with these orcas?”

“They have factions, Admiral, just like we do,” Ralph Richardson said, wheeling up beside the tub – with Eve behind his wheelchair, pushing him up to the edge of the hot tub. “I still cold as hell. Mind if we join you?”

MacKenzie’s eyes rolled skyward as he blushed away the sudden embarrassment he felt. He was naked as the day he’d been born and had always been more than modest, then Sara – or should he call her Devlin? – had shown up. But now this? Well, after all…they were from California, so when in Rome…

But as Richardson struggled to push himself up from his wheelchair Eve rushed to help, but then Sara stood to help out too and together they had the old man in the tub quickly and, Mackenzie thought, almost too easily. “So, you think the orcas are like us? Factions, I mean?” Mackenzie said after Richardson had caught his second wind and settled down in the steaming water.

“Oh, indeed so. Very much so, as a matter of fact. Remember all those violent encounters between orca and sailboats off the Iberian peninsula a few years ago? Just one pod was responsible, Admiral…”

“Please. Call me Spudz.”

Richardson nodded. “And yet at the same time I can give you at least two accounts of orca coming along and saving humans who’d fallen from boats…”

“But not the Iberian pod, correct?”

“Yes,” Richardson sighed. “Paternal territoriality and deep, almost violent protective instincts in one group, while in others we find empathy and vast reserves of maternal courage.”

“Are you saying one group is paternal, the other maternal?”

“I’m not saying anything, Spudz. I’m recounting observations.”

“But that’s what you’re thinking, right?”

“It’s a compelling hypothesis, but so far we have little to back it up.” Richardson looked at MacKenzie, his eyes wide open, his countenance one of gentle mirth, of a battle joined. “You’ve been…you were staring up at the heavens when we arrived. Do such things interest you?”

MacKenzie nodded. “At Annapolis, the summer after my plebe year, I spent a month on a cruiser in the arctic. The XO was a complete stickler about everything to do with celestial nav and he drilled us incessantly. Noon sights at first, but then we started shooting the stars and it was an epiphany. Like a bunch of people, I grew up in a city and I’d never really known my way around the night sky…”

“And that sparked…?”

“I think on a childish level, well, that somehow I’d always wanted to get closer to them. I always wanted to fly, too, so after that summer I focused on aeronautical engineering, but I added a minor in astronomy.”

“Never any interest in NASA, I take it?” Richardson asked.

Mackenzie shook his head. “Apollo was over with and the shuttle always looked like a silly diversion to me. So no, never any real interest.”

“I dare say,” Richardson sighed, “the Shuttle probably was a diversion. The question remains, however – diverting us from what?”

“That seems obvious now, don’t you think?” Spudz almost smiled.

“Yes, of course. But that brings us full circle, back to factions. I suspect you realize that, like most of us – myself included, naturally – we came of age deep inside the womb of a very anthropocentric culture? Yet we’ve quite consciously ignored the obvious. Hobbes blinded us with his singular truth, I think? Life is indeed nasty, brutish, and above all, short – but ants fight too, Spudz. Did you know that? Big, organized armies, fighting for territory, territory for their queen. Yet predatory oceanic rogues like great whites don’t organize and fight, however, which is curious, while the mammalian porpoises and whales do. But the sharks have been around for hundreds of millions of years, so where does that lead you?”

“That once a species begins to organize they start down the road to extinction.”

“Possibly. Assuming your planet isn’t taken out by an asteroid or comet…”

“Or a Trident III ICBM,” Spudz sighed.

“Yes, that has indeed been something new – and unexpected. We weren’t ready for that kind of power; it was our undoing.”

“It…was? That’s an interesting perspective, given the current reality.”

“Admiral, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but you have absolutely no idea what reality is. On the other hand, I think within the next week or so you might begin to understand just how terrifyingly precarious our understanding of the current reality really is.”

“What are you not telling me?” Spudz asked, goosebumps dancing across his torso and up his neck.

“Sara? Anything you want to pass along to the admiral? Now would seem to be the perfect time to do so.”

She looked away, perhaps up to the stars, as she searched for the very words she knew she should never say.

Spudz looked at her, saw a life of careworn evasions, endless running away and the cascading uncertainty of the moment come together, and he really didn’t know what he could do to help her…but take her hand in his. He then leaned back and looked for Orion rising in the southeast which, for some odd reason he’d never bothered to understand, almost instantly made him feel a little more at ease. Maybe, he thought, Orion represented certainty in a rapidly devolving world. Maybe…because that Hunter would still be up there long after we were gone from the Earth. Then again…hadn’t he been a hunter all his professional life? Hadn’t he killed, or help kill, hundreds of people in the Middle East and South Central Asia? 

“I think we,” Sara said quietly, “are going to have a baby.”

“Who? Who…is we?”

“You, Spudz. You and me. A baby.”

He was thunderstruck, speechless. “And you know this…how?”

“I’m not sure I understand the how or the why, but I’ve seen it.”

“You’ve…seen it? Care to elaborate?”

She looked at Richardson, who simply nodded his approval, and then she seemed to collect her thoughts  again – and maybe a little courage along the way…

“When I was with Peter Weyland Senior, well, Spudz, I met someone. A homicide detective with the police department in San Francisco. All I know is it has something to do with his mother.”

“Sara, you’re not making sense.  You know what, exactly? What are you trying to tell me?”

“He knows how to jump, Spudz. Anywhere. Any time he choses. He can do what no one else can.”

“What? Are you sure?”

She nodded, and when Spudz looked at Richardson the old man just smiled as he looked up at the night sky, maybe somewhere off beyond the stars.

“Wait,” Spudz whispered. “Didn’t you say that was back in the early 70s? He’s, this cop, he’s not still alive, is he?”

And now Eve spoke. “Oh, he’s very much alive, Admiral.”

“You’ve seen him – recently?” he asked, staggering under the weight of dangerous expectations.

“Oh, yes, about a week ago.” She wanted to tell MacKenzie about her mad dash with a priest in his new Ferrari to the observatory atop Mount Lick, above San Jose, but now wasn’t the…time.

“What’s he doing? Trying to take over the world?”

Eve smiled and laughed at the incongruity between this errant expectation and reality, then she looked MacKenzie in the eye: “For the most part he plays an old, broken down upright piano at a bar down on Fisherman’s Wharf. And he doesn’t drink anything but tea. Hot tea.”

“What?! That’s it? And he has the ability to…”

“Just so, Spudz,” Richardson sighed. “If it turns out he’s one of the Good Guys, and believe me when I tell you, there aren’t very many in this sordid tale, everything may very well revolve around what this old cop does.”

“Would he help us?” Spudz asked.

“Doubtful,” Eve said. “He seems to have made some kind of quiet peace with this ability of his. He understands the implications, and I think he’s afraid of making a mistake.”

“What does that even mean, Eve?” Spudz grumbled. “How can he be a so-called good guy and stand by quietly on the sidelines while the whole world unravels? I don’t get that. No, I don’t get that at all.”

Sara cleared her throat, then gave Spudz’ hand a quick squeeze. “I’m going to go back, Spudz. I’m going to go back and try to convince him to come with me, to join us.”

“And if he doesn’t? Then what?”

“Then I’ll have to go back to San Francisco again. To Peter Weyland again. And I’ll have to kill him.”

© 2024 adrian leverkühn | abw | adrianleverkuhnwrites. com | this is fiction, plain and simple.

Dana Goodman Claire Aubuchon 

[Trevor Rabin \\ Tumbleweed]

© 2024 adrian leverkühn | abw | adrianleverkuhnwrites. com | this is fiction, plain and simple.

And one last musical interlude for you. Gypsy, by the Moody Blues, was one of my favorites back in the day, and I can’t even begin to count how many times I saw them play this one live. Thanks for the memories, and that don’t even begin to tell that tale.

Amaranth1.2

First You Make a Stone of Your Heart, 3.3

amaranth image jpg

The Amaranth is underway, but all is not as it seems. Still, I guess when you get right down to it, nothing really ever is. What did Poe tell us? Life is but a dream within a dream?

Time for tea? Certainly, so put on the kettle and fire up your preferred source of music and have a listen to She Runs Away by Duncan Sheik. Or maybe put on Prokofiev’s Romeo and Juliet; the last lines from the Death of Juliet remain, in my mind, one of the most powerful pieces of classical music ever written. Pat Metheny has a new album nearing release (MoonDial), and You’re Everything seems a bit wistful but still quite beautiful, or perhaps you could submerge yourself in It Starts When We Disappear, now a few years old. I’ve also been listening to Trevor Rabin’s new solo album (Rio) quite a bit, as well. Give Big Mistakes a watch; he’s really a talented artist, something of a genius in the Prog pantheon, I think.

Now, off to the story.

+++++

3.3

“Hello, Devlin,” Ralph Richardson said as he was wheeled from Amaranth’s saloon to the aft cockpit. “How are you?”

Sara/Devlin turned around and looked first at MacKenzie, and if she projected anything at all it might have been despair. ‘Why didn’t I see this coming?’ a faraway voice deep inside asked. ‘What did I miss this time?’

“Why can’t you just leave me alone?” she sighed.

“Because you’re too dangerous,” MacKenzie sighed. “What you’re doing is too dangerous.”

“Why, Devlin?” Richardson asked. “Why? Peter Weyland…of all people. Why did you run to him?”

“Because,” she whispered as she turned to face Richardson and Bacon, “of what comes next, what he’s planning. I have to be there. I have to stop him.”

“Do you know when, Sara? And do you know where this is going to happen, Sara…or is it Devlin?” Spudz asked, obviously confused.

She looked away for a moment, and MacKenzie wondered how she was accessing the information she was looking for.

“41°45’59.99″ North Latitude, 50°13’60.00” West Longitude,” she said as she turned and looked at Spudz again. “You know those coordinates, don’t you, Admiral?”

MacKenzie nodded slowly, and though his arms had suddenly, involuntarily crossed over his chest, he tried to project a kind of simmering nonchalance to counter the venom hidden within her last few words. “Yes, of course,” he said, though he felt somewhat light-headed as he tried to distance himself from the trailing sarcasm that she seemed to have left lingering just for him, “but why do you need us to get you there?”

“I can never be there as it was, Admiral,” she sighed, now afraid of him, wanting to keep some empty space between him and what she’d, up until a few minutes ago, thought she understood him to be. Now, once again, she wasn’t sure of anything, only that she felt tired, defeated, and that she felt the need to run away again.

But she slowly turned and walked out onto the swim platform, then slowly slipped out of the clothes she had taken from one of Spudz’ cabinets. Now naked, she then turned to face the early morning sun.

MacKenzie walked to Richardson’s side and knelt beside the old man’s wheelchair. “What’s she doing now?”

“Charging her fuel cells. She needs about a half hour a day.”

“I don’t think I ever really understood – until last night, anyway.”

“Tell me, Admiral. Did you fall in love with her?”

“For a moment…I thought so, yes.”

“Did you feel anything from her? Something like love being returned?”

MacKenzie nodded uncertainly. “I thought so, once.”

Richardson turned to Sumner Bacon and took a deep breath, then looked to his old friend for solace. “Then she may be the one for you, Spudz. Sumner? See if she’ll let you download a copy of her buffer.” Then he turned to the other woman waiting patiently by his side and sighed: “Go to her, Eve. She’s feeling lost.” 

Spudz watched the other woman, an exact duplicate of Sara, as she stepped down onto the swim platform. ‘No, her name is Devlin,’ he told himself again. ‘I can’t let her run from that too. Not again.’ Jim Turner came up from behind and gently tapped him on the shoulder, then handed him a small clipboard. He read the update from the P-8 circling overhead, then turned and followed Turner to the bridge.

He looked at the tactical display Valdez had laid out on a folded chart of the mid-Atlantic coast, then he turned to Jim Turner. “Do we have any idea where Weyland is?”

“Our best information would put him here,” Turner said, “about four hundred miles north-northeast of Natal, Brazil, so somewhere near the Saint Peter and Saint Paul Archipelago.”

“Any idea which boat he’s got?”

“Again, our best guess is the Medusa II. She’s that 61 meter Feadship.”

“Range more than 3,000?”

“2,700 nautical – so she’s already burned through some of that, as it’s my best guess she last took on fuel in Recife; that means she’ll have to take on fuel again, either in the Azores, or possibly Iceland – so we should arrive long before she does.”

“Jenny, get an encrypted channel to Truman, give Captain Anderson our ETA at Hatteras and advise we’d like him to shadow us. Jim, what’s the latest on that MAD contact?”

“Now an intermittent contact, sir, about fifteen hundred meters off our starboard quarter.”

“When will Vermont make it to our neighborhood?”

“Call it seven hours, sir.”

“Very well. Make our speed nine knots, and Jim, lay out a course to intercept Truman at that speed. I’ll be downstairs if you need me.” He stepped outside and walked up to the upper, so called flying bridge and picked up a pair of binoculars, and with these he swept seaward, looking for anything out of the ordinary. He saw the P-8 Poseidon flying very low about a mile off to his right, and he saw a fresh line of sonobuoys being dropped, their parachutes opening a moment after the small, gray, cylindrical buoys exited the heavily modified 737s aft compartment, then floating on unseen currents to their splashdowns in the sea. He knew what was out there, at least he did if his briefings had been kept up-to-date.

With his binoculars still firmly in hand, he walked down through the galley to the aft cockpit and resumed standing beside Richardson’s wheelchair. “Anything new going on?” he muttered.

Richardson looked up at him and smiled. “Look aft, about 200 yards, Admiral.”

MacKenzie brought the field glasses to his eyes and scanned the water, then he caught the tall, black dorsal fin gleaming in the sunlight. “Orca,” he said. “Looks like a lone male, and a big one.”

“Keep looking, Admiral.”

MacKenzie scanned the area slowly, quickly spotting two females and a couple of calves, then two more very large males bringing up the rear. “Geesh…a family, or part of a pod…”

“Look to port,” Richardson sighed, grinning.

“Holy Mother of God,” MacKenzie whispered. He’d never seen so many orca in one pod before, and he quickly lost track as he tried to count the dorsal fins. “Looks like at least fifty…maybe seventy-five. When did they show up?”

“Just after you left,” Sumner Bacon said. “Keep an eye on the closest one, the big male. I think he’s moving in now.”

Spudz didn’t need the binoculars now. The male was sprinting in, his dorsal fin easily six feet tall, his breath exiting the blowhole as visible as an old steam locomotive’s.

Eve and Devlin were now side-by-side on the swim platform, their heads tilted back, their arms wide  – as if harnessing the power of the sun to summon the pod.

Spudz pulled the FRS radio from his belt and called the bridge. “Jim?”

“Here sir.”

“All stop. Turn on all cameras to hi-res video record, and get what you can on audio.”

“All stop, aye sir. Pelican 3-0-1 just called it in. They’re picking up fifty five strong echos, and twenty-two faint. Converging course, one rapidly.”

“Ask 301 to record the intercept, will you, Chief?”

“Aye, sir. Engines answer all stop, both engines at idle speed and in neutral.”

“Better stand-by on the boat deck, Chief, in case we need the Zodiac.”

“Already there, sir. Tank full, extra MOB gear ready to deploy.”

MacKenzie grinned; Turner was still reading his mind. He stepped close to the transom, watched as the big male came to within five meters of the swim platform, and then both Devlin and Eve dove off the platform and swam over to the orca. “Two in the water, Chief,” Spudz said quietly. “Standby, but take no action yet.”

“Admiral?” Valdez interrupted. “3-0-1 wants to know if we need assistance with the MOBs.”

“Tell ‘em we’ve got this one, Jenny.”

“Aye, sir.”

He looked up, saw the P-8 in a tight radius, very low speed left turn just a few hundred feet overhead and he waved at the pilot, then smiled when he saw the gal waving back at him. Both Devlin and Eve were now treading water beside the big male, but the pods’ calves were quickly zeroing in on them, too. “Jim, launch the Zodiac, but head forward and maybe you’d better just loiter a couple of hundred yards away. Whatever you do, don’t close on the calves in the pod without hearing directly from me first.”

“Understood.”

MacKenzie went to the swim platform and secured the dive ladder off the stern, then he stepped back and watched the – for all intents and purposes – two identical twins communing with the huge male, their hands and faces in direct contact with the orca, just behind his huge brown eyes. One of the smaller calves drifted over and leaned into, he assumed, Eve, and then Devlin came over to be near Eve – and MacKenzie had the strangest feeling that introductions were being made. After the first calf arrived the remaining orcas, all of them, drifted in close, until the group had formed a huge, writhing ball…

“Admiral, 3-0-1 just asked me to relay a question,” Jenny said.

“Go ahead.”

“The skipper up there would like to know what the hell is going on down here…”

“Better tell her we ain’t real sure our own fat selves.”

“Gotcha.”

“As soon as we figure it out we’ll let her know.”

“The skipper up there wants to know if you’re going in?”

“Please tell her, and a direct quote now will suffice, but Hell no I ain’t going in there.”

“She wants to know why not. It looks fun.”

“That’s because she can’t see the teeth on those males. Anyway, tell her I will – if she goes first.” 

“Roger that.”

MacKenzie heard more than felt Richardson struggling to get out of his wheelchair, and he turned just in time to see the old man leaning over the stern rail, taking deep breaths. “You need a hand?”

“Oh, all I can get.”

Spudz stepped over and helped Richardson over to the gate in the transom, then helped him out onto the swim platform. “You going in?” he asked – maybe a little too incredulously than he should have.

Richardson nodded. “Good a time as any, I think.”

Sumner Bacon hopped down onto the platform, already down to his boxers, and MacKenzie just shook his head and took off his sweatpants and t-shirt, then he jumped off the boat and into the warmish waters of the Gulf Stream.

He heard a splash, then saw Richardson was side-stroking away from Amaranth’s stern, Bacon not far behind – and then Pelican 301 flew by, the PIC making a shrugging motion with her shoulders and hands…as in: “WTF is going on down there?” MacKenzie arced his right arm high up over his body, placing his hand on top of his head, making the universal ‘OK’ sign rescue SAR divers and downed pilots-in-the-water use to signal ‘all okay here.’ Then he too swam away from the boat, wanting to get closer to Devlin and Eve and the big male – more out of curiosity than anything else – but as he swam closer one of the larger females placed her body between the interloper and the human females. And when he tried to swim around her, she kept repositioning her body, fending him off – keeping them apart.

But then the big male released them and, in effect, pushed Eve and Devlin towards MacKenzie – and in the next instant several of the female orcas corralled the three of them, then began swimming around them at a dizzying pace. The remaining males circled the female orcas and began swimming in the opposite direction, soon creating something of a maelstrom – with bubbling salt water soon turning milky, and then MacKenzie realized the ocean was beginning to smell heavy, almost musky, and for a moment he wondered if this was what orca semen smelled like.

And then Devlin – or was it Eve – was straddling him, frantically reaching inside his boxers then taking all of him in hand, the orcas pushing them closer and closer, so close that it was getting hard to breath…then the moment of the fire and the rain came for him – just before he passed out.

The dream was lucid, beyond any he’d ever experienced. He was huddled in a steamship’s crow’s nest, standing watch on a bitterly cold night – when dead ahead he spotted a large iceberg – but when he turned to sound the alarm he saw Devlin – or was it Eve? – by his side. “There’s nothing you can do now,” the woman said, adding: “The water is very cold, isn’t it?”

As MacKenzie came-to, he found he was in the Zodiac and feeling very disoriented, sprawled out on the floor near the center console behind Turner; Richardson and Bacon, as well as the two girls, were bundled-up in blankets, nicely cuddled-up in the Zodiac’s bow. One of the girls was staring at him, a knowing smirk showing faintly on her lips. When Spudz lifted his head a little he saw they were headed back towards Amaranth – but that they were apparently several hundred yards away from her – and when had that happened? The P-8 was circling overhead, and he realized that onboard cameras in the bottom of the Boeing’s fuselage had – apparently – been recording the scene for a while. That recording would be more than humiliating when his old team in J-2 got wind of it.

But what the devil had happened out there? Had he actually had intercourse with one of the women, and if so, what role had the orcas played in that – because the whole thing had begun to feel like a ritual or ceremony of some sort. The purpose being? And whose ceremony was it? Certainly not human, at least no cultural groups he was aware of practiced anything at all like this.

And what of that peculiar musky odor – and the milky sea water. That it was semen was altogether unlikely, but why had the orcas participated like they had?

He’d had very little sleep for several days now and MacKenzie showered once he was back on Amaranth, then he locked his door and crawled under the sheets, yet as soon as deep sleep returned – so too did the dream.

© 2024 adrian leverkühn | abw | adrianleverkuhnwrites. com | this is fiction, plain and simple.

Let’s finish up with a Greg Lake piece from ELPs Works, Vol. 1, Closer to Believing. Be safe out there.

First You Make a Stone of Your Heart, 3.2

amaranth image jpg

If this section stumps you, consider rereading Asynchronous Mud, etc. A little longer than the first section (3.1), you’ll have plenty of time for tea this time out. Need a little music to get you there? Have a go at Woman In Chains by Tears For Fears. So, let’s get this road on the show.

3.2

Beaufort, South Carolina

Spudz stood at Amaranth’s wheel, his eyes focused on the depth sounder and the forward scanning sonar, slowly, carefully threading his 120 foot Nordhavn through the shifting mud and sand-bottomed channel as they pulled away from the seawall. The sounder was showing just two feet under the keel, so Amaranth’s more than nine foot draft presented a number of challenges to the careful navigator, but the retired seaman seemed in his element now.

To make their departure more interesting, the first few hundred yards of the channel passed through a no wake zone, meaning his little ship had to proceed with the twin throttles almost at idle, and contrary to expectation the best route for his deep keel did not follow the center of the channel. Instead, he guided her to the starboard, or right side of the channel – which was fractionally deeper.

Sara stood by his side, watching his hands. 

She had noted his hands the first time they met. They had looked clean, almost delicate, yet visibly very dexterous, too, and she’d at first thought he must be a surgeon – but no longer. She saw two throttles under his right hand now, yet he manipulated them individually; a little left forward throttle here, a little right there, and every few seconds, as the sounder and sonar painted a vibrant picture of the way ahead, he’d slip the right throttle into neutral, and occasionally into reverse, in effect yawing the vessel around underwater objects as he approached each one. It was slow-going, almost excruciating to watch – because one slip here could drive the ship’s 850,000 pound displacement hull into thick, soft mud. It would cost, she imagined, thousands to affect a recovery – under even the most favorable conditions.

He was steering for a flashing red light, the channel marker, he said, and as they passed this mark he asked her if she could read the number painted on it.

“Two-forty, and the marker looks red, too.”

“Got it,” he sighed before his eyes left the sonar display. “Fourteen feet now,” he said absently as he began steering for the next marker, a flashing green light a few hundred yards ahead. “Oh, swell,” he snarled suddenly, and Sara looked ahead and noted that the air was condensing – which could only mean one thing: fog. Spudz opened another display and pulled up the outside air temp and relative humidity and grumbled something about dew point and that this wasn’t exactly the best time to run into dense fog, yet as they watched the air just above the water turned milky white…

…and then Jim Turner walked onto the bridge and over to MacKenzie. He assayed the situation, turned on the radar and assigned that readout to the screen in front of the admiral, overlaying the radar’s information on top of the marine chart and putting the sonar’s screen on an adjacent display.

“Everything stowed?” MacKenzie asked Turner.

“Aye, sir.”

MacKenzie grumbled and shook his head, knowing that Turner would never be able to address him as anything other than the four-star admiral he’d been, then he scanned the sonar display and corrected his course to clear a very large submerged tree limb. “This still a No Wake Zone?” he asked Turner, his attention focused on the submerged hazard.

“Yessir, all the way to the bridge.”

MacKenzie noted the depth ahead was almost in the twenty foot range, so he let himself relax a little, but then looked up and noted the fog had suddenly grown so thick he could barely see the waving ensign on Amaranth’s bow. Instinctively he throttled back – until the boat was just maintaining effective steering speed – as he used the chart plotter and sonar to keep in the deepest part of the channel.

“I can just make out a green light to our left,” Sara said, and Spudz smiled.

“You’re going to be a good navigator, you know?”

She smiled too. “How do you know where to go?” she asked.

He pointed at the large screen just in front of the wheel and looked at her: “See the green boat icon here?”

“Yes.”

“That’s us, our current position, and that is accurate to within a few feet. The red line here is the route we’re following, and we need to stay as close to that as we possibly can. Look here,” he said, pointing at their position. “We passed Red 240 right there, at the bend in the river, and you saw the green light when we passed Green 241. The next is another green, 241A, to our left, and the next one after that will be Red 242, beyond that one and on our right – but look further ahead, to that red one.”

“Two-four-four, right?”

“Yup,” he said as he zoomed in on that mark, “but look at the depth by that one.”

“Ten feet?”

“Uh-huh, but if you keep to the middle of the channel right there we’ll have 14 feet, so if you cut the corner too closely you can find quickly yourself aground in very shallow water.”

“Okay, I see that. So, you can’t rely on that chart all the time, can you?”

“That’s right. Tidal rivers are tricky because the bottom contours are shifting all the time, but the nice thing about these charts is that they’re updated all them time too, and I do mean all the time. Users that pass through here can report unexpected changes, and those reports show up as advisories on these charts, which are always up-to-date. That’s actually a really big change from the way things worked even just a few years ago, too.”

“What’s that line on the radar?”

“That’s the Highway 21 bridge to Port Royal.”

“Uh, Admiral,” Turner said, coughing under his breath, “I don’t mean to intrude, but you’ve been up for twenty hours. You really should hit the rack.”

MacKenzie looked at a GPS display and nodded when he saw the time. “Okay Chief, you’ve got the watch. Wake me at 0600 hours…uh, better make that 0530, and keep it under five knots in this fog.”

“0530. Aye, sir, and under five in the fog.”

MacKenzie’s cabin was just aft of the bridge – and on the same deck – so he hopped down from his helm seat and turned to Sara. “Shall we?” he asked as he walked to the short corridor that led to his cabin.

As she walked in she stopped and looked around. “This is really nice, Spudz. Elegant, I guess,” she said as she walked over to several framed pictures on a dresser. “You were a pilot?” she asked.

He walked over and stood beside her. “That was a long time ago, right after I got out of the Academy.”

“Annapolis?”

“Yup.”

“What kind of plane is that?”

“An EA-6B, an electronic warfare aircraft.”

“Were you ever in combat?”

He nodded. “Dessert Storm. I was the squadron CO by then, then the Wing’s CAG, and then I went to surface warfare school, was XO on a cruiser before taking over as skipper of an aircraft carrier.” 

“Turner? He worked with you?”

Spudz nodded. “He’s been with me since the Connie…uh, the carrier.”

“Connie?”

“Constellation. She was the last non-nuclear boat. That’s here, there,” he said, pointing to one of the pictures.

“And you flew planes onto that?”

He nodded. “Feels like all that happened in another lifetime.”

“How so?”

He shrugged again, almost like it was a habitual gesture, quick and restless. “You sure you want to bunk out with me up here?”

“Would you mind?”

He shrugged again. “No, but I really need a shower.”

“I think I’d like a bath. Don’t suppose there’s one of those onboard, huh?”

“I’ll do you one better,” he said, walking to the huge sliding glass doors along the aft most wall, and as soon as he was within a foot or so of the door it automatically slid open and lights in the ceiling above a circular hot tub came on. “Water’s set at 102 Fahrenheit. Will that do?”

She walked out and looked at the tub and sighed. “Is there anything you don’t have onboard this thing?”

“I didn’t want a house, and there were a bunch of people I really didn’t want to leave behind so this came to mind. I made a couple of good investments along the way, enough to live like this for a while, anyway, and when I talked to my friends they were all happy to sign on. There’s plenty of room and we’re planning on seeing the world we missed. Europe, mostly, then the Seychelles and Polynesia too. Then we’ll see.”

“Do you have anything I can wear?”

“Sweatpants, gym shorts, hoodies, you name it. Do you have a passport?”

She shook her head and looked away. “No.”

“Well, we’ll take care of that tomorrow. What about shoes?”

“What?”

“What size? I’ll ask the chief, see if we have your size onboard already.”

“Nine, narrow.”

“Got it,” he said as he walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a couple of bath sheets. He handed them to her and smiled. “Hop in when you want. I’m going to shower now,” he said, ready to return to the warmth of his cabin – but as walked in she followed him, and she did so all the way to his bathroom. He finally saw her in one of the mirrors and stopped, then turned around and looked at her.

She reached out and unknotted his tie, then started to unbutton his shirt, and his lower lip started to tremble.

No one had expressly told him this might happen – yet he really didn’t understand why he hadn’t figured that out on his own, let alone what to do if it did – so he simply acquiesced. For a moment.

“Let me rinse off,” he sighed, “then I’ll meet you in the tub.”

She looked at him a little quizzically, then she saw the dilemma in his eyes, the conflict and uncertainty written across his face – and right then she knew that he knew. “Okay,” she whispered, but even she could register the defeat in her words.

He watched her walk back to the tub, and though she kicked off her shoes and slacks before she stepped up and then into the hot water – while still wearing her blouse and, he assumed, her underwear – before sitting down. He nodded then stepped into a cold shower and soaped off quickly, then slipped into a clean t-shirt and boxers before making his own quick dash out to the tub.

As he sat he just made out the highway bridge as Amaranth crept along through the dense fog, then he felt her come close and lay her head on his shoulder – again. He slipped his arm around her and pulled her close, and after that everything just sort of happened naturally.

Port Royal Sound

He woke with a start and looked at the clock on his bedside table and smiled when he saw 0525 on the pale blue digital display. Some things, he realized, never changed, and waking up minutes before the alarm sounded had always been a blessing – and a curse. Then he remembered Sara and rolled over, saw that she was already sitting up and watching him – quite intently.

“You were so sweet last night,” he finally said, though he still felt a little shy. “So easy to be with.”

She held his eyes in her own and smiled with a warmth she’d rarely known. “You were my first.”

His eyes popped wide open as he processed those words. “What?”

“I’ve never wanted to before.”

A knock on the teak door, then Jim Turner’s voice boomed: “Admiral?”

“I’ll be up in a moment, Chief.”

“Aye, sir.”

MacKenzie dressed in plain khakis and slipped on a pair of sneakers and a navy blue ball cap as she watched him dress, and she never took her eyes off him.

“If you want to shower and change,” he began, “just help yourself to the sweats. Second drawer,” he added, pointing. “I’ll be at the wheel until 0600, then we can head down and make breakfast.”

“Okay.”

MacKenzie went to the helm, noted they had already passed Saint Michaels Breakers and were coming up on Port Royal Channel Marker 7 and that their depth was ranging between 13 and 20 feet; the autopilot was engaged and Jenny Valdez was on watch. Valdez had been a Machinist’s Mate before pushing and shoving her way through SEAL training, and she’d been on Spudz’ security detail at the Pentagon. She was also Jim Turner’s main squeeze, and between the two of them there wasn’t anything onboard they couldn’t fix.

“Good morning, Admiral,” Valdez said, grinning. “Have a good night’s sleep?”

“I managed,” MacKenzie growled. “When do we clear the channel?”

“Six thousand feet to the Entrance Buoy, sir.”

“Maintain course until we’re a few miles offshore, then make zero-five-zero degrees at seven knots.”

“Two offshore, zero-five-zero at seven, aye.”

He stepped outside onto the bridge and found Orion down hard in the southwest sky; he took in the brisk salt laden air then made a swing around the foredeck before walking aft to the steps that led up to the flying bridge. Once up in the unfettered breeze he settled into a helm chair and turned on the main NAV display and scrolled to the weather page. Temp was warming, the dew point falling, so before long they’d be out of the fog, and that was always a good thing, he thought. Radar was clear, AIS too, then he heard Turner coming up the steps.

“Skipper? How do you want to handle this?”

“Let me go down with her and get breakfast going. When we’re finished go ahead and bring them out.”

“You want me to stand by there while this goes down?”

He thought a moment, then nodded. “Better keep a sidearm handy, Chief. Just in case.”

“Aye, sir.”

“Anything from the airdales?”

“A P-8 made a routine sweep an hour ago. There’s a Russian boomer off Savannah heading south, with at least one Virginia on his ass, and the Truman Battle Group is off Hatteras doing workups and car-quals.”

“So nothing from our friend in Seattle?” MacKenzie noted, meaning the old British spy on Puget Sound.

“Still docked at Shilshole, sir,” Valdez added.

“This doesn’t smell right, Chief. Something doesn’t feel right.”

“I know, sir. I feel it, too. All the missile boats have sortied, all the carriers, too. Docks in Norfolk are empty, Admiral. Even the dry-docks.”

“Hell, been a while since we’ve seen that, Chief.”

“Better safe than sorry, sir, but I guess you know that.”

“Yeah. I’m pretty smart…for an officer, anyway.”

“I wouldn’t put it exactly that way, Admiral.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You need anything right now, sir? Coffee? Fresh condoms? Penicillin, maybe?” he said, grinning.

Spudz smiled at Turner and shook his head. “No. Let’s head down and get this over with.” He turned off the display and stood, and he felt his little ship was beginning to roll a little in the open roadstead, and just then Valdez upped the throttle and corrected to port a few degrees before settling in on her new heading. 

Turner led the way down the steps and MacKenzie found Sara Caldwell on the bridge standing beside Valdez. “Sara?” he said to her. “Let’s head down and I’ll show you around the galley.”

“We’re being followed,” Caldwell said, her voice flat, emotionless.

Valdez looked at the admiral and shrugged. “Radar’s all clear, sir.”

“Who’s upstairs?” he asked, looking at Turner.

Turner went to a clipboard and flipped a page. “Should be Pelican 3-0-1 out of Jax.”

“Have him make a MAD run and drop a line of buoys between here to Wilmington.”

“Aye, sir.” Turner went over to a radio and began keying in a frequency.

Sara was looking at Spudz, just now beginning to wonder what was really going on. “What’s a MAD, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“Magnetic Anomaly Detector. An aircraft will fly along our route looking for any unusual magnetic influences, then comparing anything that pops to nominal datums for this part of the coastline.”

“Magnetic?” Sara asked. “You mean…something like…a submarine?”

Spudz shrugged. “Let’s see what they turn up before we jump to any conclusions, okay? Now, let’s head down to the galley.”

MacKenzie disappeared down the stairway and Sara followed him, and then he showed her around the galley – which was immense and as well equipped as any she’d seen in her travels. Two Sub Zero refrigerators, a six burner induction cooktop, four ovens, two dishwashers and a trash compactor were in the galley proper; in an annex just forward was a huge freezer and two commercial grade ice-makers. “Why such a big galley?” she asked.

And he shrugged. “It’s the standard arrangement. Lots of space for frozen stuff on long passages, and besides, who wants to eat PBJs for weeks on end?”

“Would you like me to cook breakfast?”

“Could you?”

“Sure. Just you and me?”

“No. We’ve got an engineer in the engine room, then Jim and Jenny. And we have three guests onboard, and one more down below.”

“So, breakfast for nine?”

“Yup. Think you can handle that?”

She poked around the refrigerators, then found some English muffins in a cupboard and decided on Eggs Benedict and home fried potatoes. She found several bags of oranges and an electric juicer then got to work, leaving Spudz with little to do but sit and watch her.

Which was, in and of itself, amazing. She moved with an impressive economy of motion, almost like she was trying to conserve energy with every move she made, and then she started to chop some shallots and her hands moved so quickly he could barely follow her movements. She poached eggs and sliced the Canadian bacon, then set up a double boiler and fired off a Hollandaise while the muffins toasted. For good measure she sliced fresh honeydew melon and made her plates ‘just so.’

Turner came down and carried two plates up to the bridge, and someone mysteriously appeared and carried three plates forward, then the engineers arrived from below – with spotless hands – and carried their plates away, leaving her alone with Spudz…and once again she felt like everything had been pre-arranged; that everything was happening according to some plan. He carried their two plates to the dining room – for that’s exactly what it was, she saw – and after he put their plates on the table he waited for her behind her chair. And that, she thought, was a completely unexpected gesture.

He sat and immediately took a bite – then coughed a little to clear his throat. “Did you put cayenne in the Hollandaise?” he asked.

“Always,” she smirked. “Too hot for you?”

“No, not really. I just wasn’t expecting a hit like that at breakfast.” Then the little FRS radio on his belt chimed and he picked it up, toggled the mic. “Yes?”

“Admiral,” Valdez said, “first MAD run picked up a minor hit. Vermont notified and now en route, but sir, there’s not enough water in here for a sub?”

“Have the P-8 drop a larger grid ahead of us, then let’s start a zigzag course; maybe they can pick up something that way.”

“Aye, sir.”

“What’s Vermont?” Sara asked.

“A Virginia-class fast attack sub. She’s assigned to the carrier battle group training off Cape Hatteras. If someone’s following us, the sub can pin her in shallow water.”

“I’m curious, Spudz. Why would someone follow us? Is someone after you?”

MacKenzie shrugged. “What do you think of our little galley?”

She stared at him, wondered what his real game was, but he was focused on his eggs – too obviously ignoring her question. “All the comforts of home, I guess.”

He looked at her then, his eyes cold and hard again, almost inquisitorial. “How ‘bout your home, Sara? Growing up, I mean? What got you interested in cooking?”

“I wanted to be…useful.”

“Surgeons are useful. So are engineers. Why cooking?”

“I don’t know, Spudz. Are warriors useful?”

He leaned back and looked seaward – out the adjacent wall of windows – and he had to think about that one for a moment. “In an ideal world there’d be no need. Then again, we don’t live in an ideal world, do we?”

“I tried medicine once, but I found it unsatisfying.”

“What? You were, you are a physician?”

She smiled. “That troubles you?” 

“No, not really, but it was – well, it is – a little unexpected, I guess, but let me add that to the list,” he smiled.

“You don’t trust me, do you?”

“Of course…but look, you wouldn’t be here if I didn’t, okay?”

“I don’t believe you. Who are the other guests onboard?”

“Let’s clear the table, do the dishes first, okay?” he said. She stood abruptly and went to the galley while he ferried their dishes and utensils to the sink. “I’ll rinse and you load,” he added, taking a minute to wipe down the obsidian granite countertops after they finished with the cookware. Then he walked through the main saloon and out to the open aft cockpit, and she followed along without asking, finally stopping at the rail and looking at the churning water in their wake.

“Why am I here, Spudz?”

“Try not to be angry, okay?”

“Angry? Why would I be…?”

They turned when the pneumatic door hissed open again, and Sara turned around – only to find Ralph Richardson, Sumner Bacon…and another woman that looked exactly like she did.

Her betrayal now complete, she turned to MacKenzie at a complete loss for words. Not only did he know who she was, this Navy admiral had spent months, perhaps years setting up this moment, slowly seducing her to break cover and run again. But now she was trapped, unknown miles out to sea and in the hands of the two men she had run away from more than once.

© 2024 adrian leverkühn | abw | adrianleverkuhnwrites. com | this is fiction, plain and simple.

Last music today? Try Twelve-Eight Angel by The Dream Academy. Enjoy.

First You Make a Stone of Your Heart, Part 3.1 – The Amaranth

amaranth image jpg

Let’s continue our serpentine path around and through the periphery of the Eighty-eighth Key, on our way to Time Shadow. For music, I’d recommend Trevor Rabin’s PUSH to set the mood, perhaps while you grab a cup of tea?

First You Make a Stone of Your Heart – The Amaranth
3.1
Beaufort, South Carolina
A park bench in shade, one of many that line the water’s edge. A red brick walkway, uneven, worn down by time and shaded by overhanging live oaks – some draped with lingering strands of Spanish moss. A woman, a uniformed woman, dressed as a chef – perhaps – or perhaps a waitress. She looks care-warn, almost depressed as her mind processes the words on the sheet of crisp, white paper in her hand.
She sits on one of the benches by the water’s edge, lost inside a rose garden of meandering implications, not quite sure how to proceed amongst the thorns, not at all sure what even her next step might look like. She turns away from the paper and shakes her head – a brief, imperceptible shake to the casual passersby – as she watches the incessant parade of boats and barges moving along this stretch of the intracoastal waterway, and she wonders where all the people out there are headed. A marina to her right is full of boats – but rarely do people head down the ramps and board one of them.
She looks down at her phone and checks the time – it is one fifty in the afternoon so she must go up to the restaurant now – one last time. The notice in her hand has advised that after almost 90 years both the restaurant and the inn will be closing…for good. Today will be her last day of work, and despite all the swirling uncertainty ahead she doesn’t know quite what to feel. She has worked in the kitchen for a few years yet she has few friends.
A freshening breeze fills in from the north and little arcing williwaws race across the water. She watches the passing boats for a moment longer then shrugs before she turns and walks through the little park to the inn.
+++++
Marine Corps Air Station Beaufort (Merritt Field)
The civilian yacht had been tied-off at the fueling docks at the end of Quilali Road, adjacent to to a row of patrol boats lined up like sharks’ teeth lined up with their bows pointing into the intracoastal waterway. All of the patrol boats were on alert, their gun stations reporting manned and ready; two Block Three F-35Bs circled ten thousand feet overhead, their sensors trained on the seaward approaches to Beaufort and Hilton Head island, while an Air Force RC-135S ‘Cobra Ball’ MASINT aircraft orbited the area at flight level three-four-zero, her medium wave infrared array turned skyward as her operators watched, and listened to, Russian and Chinese satellite operations half a world away.
A half hour window was about to open, and during this brief pause in satellite surveillance a civilian Gulfstream would touch down at Merritt Field; its three passengers would be rushed to the waiting yacht and the business jet would takeoff and return to her original routing to Jacksonville, Florida. Once everyone was aboard, the yacht would cast off her lines and head to the seawall off Chambers Park, in central Beaufort, and tie up for the night. And this would mark the beginning of the most dangerous, not to mention consequential, part of the operation.
Admiral James ‘Spudz’ MacKenzie sat in the radio room just aft of the yacht’s bridge, talking with the colonel in command of the old Boeing circling miles overhead. “Anything new?” MacKenzie asked.
“Nothing,” came the crystal clear reply from Colonel Jim Parker. “No changes in orbital trajectory; no launch detections. Congrats, Spuds. Looks like you spoofed ‘em.”
MacKenzie nodded while he looked at the countdown timer on an adjacent display, then picked up the mic to VHF COMM 3: “Merritt, Nord 1. Stop repeat go.”
“Go repeat stop,” came the static-filled reply. 
MacKenzie switched over to Merritt’s main tower frequency and listened-in as the Gulfstream made its approach; as soon as the jet was on the ground MacKenzie turned to Command Master Chief Jim Turner and nodded. “Secure the fuel lines, Jim, and standby to cast off.”
“Aye, Admiral.”
“Tanks full?” MacKenzie added.
“Seventeen thousand, five hundred gallons onboard, Sir. Fuel pre-heated and polished.”
“Okay, Jim. You better go see to the deck.” Turner saluted and started to turn – but MacKenzie pulled him up short, then hastily added for the umpteenth time: “Jim, in case you’ve forgotten…please recall that I am in fact retired. Okay? No salutes, none of that other BS? Understood?”
“Yes, Admiral,” he grinned.
Turner had been with MacKenzie since the late-90s, during MacKenzie’s two years as CO of the Constellation, and he’d been with MacKenzie ever since. First following him to the Joint Analysis Centre at RAF Molesworth and then to the Pentagon, where the freshly minted admiral began working in the Joint Intelligence Center; Turner tagged along when MacKenzie was sent to the White House as the president’s naval attaché. With a little presidential arm twisting, MacKenzie spent his last year in uniform working with the State Department’s Bureau of Intelligence and Research before, once both had officially retired, Turner joined his admiral when he took a position at Northrop-Grumman – until the very same president twisted MacKenzie’s arm – again – and sent him back to the Pentagon – again – only now as Secretary of Defense.
And that, Turner had wittily observed more than once, was when things got really weird, and soon turned very, very dark.
+++++
Beaufort, South Carolina
The mood in the inn was quiet, almost somber, beyond palpably depressed. People who working at the inn’s restaurant, and some had literally for decades, simply had no frame of reference to deal with their sudden unmooring. Cast adrift as if miles from shore and with no idea which way to swim, the older waitstaff and kitchen crew had devoted their professional lives to carrying on the restaurant’s fully justified 144-years-old reputation. And now all that was over? Gone?
She watched these people going about their routines as if they were functioning on some kind of emotional autopilot, their forced smiles and easy shrugs worn like masks to hide the cascades of emotion she assumed each felt. Old, long time customers were just as shocked, and no one understood the why or the how of the moment.

So she hid behind her work, carefully shaved a handful of thin shards from a new block of parmesan and placed them ever-so-delicately atop a perfectly prepared bowl of shrimp & grits, then sprinkled thinly sliced roundels of crisp green scallion on the cheese. She looked over the plates, as always her own worst critic, and hit the pickup light to summon the waitress who would serve her creation.
She turned and looked at the clock over the door that led to the dining room and saw they were down to their final hour, and just then one of the waitresses she had known for years walked into the kitchen and right up to her.
“Well, well, well…lucky you,” the old waitress smirked. “Guess who’s coming to dinner?”
Sara Caldwell simply shrugged off the question, because in a way none of that mattered anymore. Not now.
“It’s your favorite customer, if you know what I mean?” the waitress added salaciously. 
“Spudz?” Sara asked. “Really?”
“He just got off a big boat and I saw him walking through the park, heading this way.”
“That’s not a boat,” Lucien Rousseau sighed, “that’s a yacht…with a capital Y.” Lucien was the youngest member of the dining room waitstaff and he usually waited on Spuds whenever he happened by – which wasn’t all that frequently – but this customer had appeared to take a real interest in Sara Caldwell several months ago. Whenever he was in town he made it a point to visit the inn, and he always asked to speak to Sara, complimenting her on her obvious skills in the kitchen and usually asking her to take a walk with him after the restaurant closed for the evening. He was always very polite, almost gentile; everyone referred to him as ‘old school,’ a real old fashioned gentleman, and she’d begun to look forward to his visits. Even so, no one at the inn knew the slightest thing about him, beyond his name and that he always paid in cash – and always tipping generously.

And now she suspected she’d lose even this modest sense of connection, too, and it hit her just then. This must be what it felt like to miss someone, even though she and Spudz had never done anything more than take a few brief walks in the park together. He was polite, almost solicitously so,  and she’d often felt that he cared for her. Then again, she’d had no idea that he had a boat, or a yacht, or whatever Lucien thought it was, so in the end he was still realistically little more than a stranger.

But that’s not she felt about him. Not really. Somehow he’d become a part of her…life.

She went back to work and wasn’t at all surprised when his order for filet mignon Marchand de Vin came in; he always ordered the same thing, daring to change only what he had as an appetizer or for dessert. And he always dressed for dinner, never came dressed casually. And, as had always been the case, he finished his meal a few minutes after the restaurant closed and then asked to speak with her.
But tonight she really didn’t know how to proceed. Tell him about the inn closing, the restaurant too? Or had someone already told him?
He was in the main dining room with his back to the kitchen, his close-cropped steel-gray hair instantly recognizable to her. She threw aside the caution she felt as easily as she had her apron and did her best to smile as she walked through the remaining dinner guests, stopping to ask each table if their evening had been satisfactory, and then she was there.
“Was your filet as good as you remembered?” she asked as she walked up by his side.
He stood attentively and walked around the table to the empty chair opposite his own. “Sara. Please, would you join me for a modest libation?”
This was something new; he was breaking his usual script, taking a new way forward.
She saw two untouched drinks on the table as he pulled out the chair for her; with his eyes he was asking, no pleading, with her to join him, and she couldn’t resist the sincerity she witnessed. She nodded and sat, and he went back to his chair and joined her.
“Drambuie,” he said, picking up his glass. “I hope that’s alright.”
She nodded and smiled. “It’s perfect,” she sighed, watching him watching her.
“Lucien told me the news. How are you holding up?”
“I haven’t…I really haven’t had time to process everything yet.”
“I can imagine. Any idea what you might do next?”
“No. None.”
He nodded and looked away for a moment, then turned and looked at the massive yacht tied-off by the benches in the park…
“Is that yours,” she asked.
“It is,” he said, turning back to face her.
“What’s her name?”
“Amaranth.”
She blinked rapidly then looked away for a moment, and he found he couldn’t take his eyes off hers.
“Isn’t that a type of plant?”
He nodded. “Yes, just so. However, in Attic Greek it translates roughly as immortal.”
“Ah. I remember one variety of the plant is called Love Lies Bleeding,” she said, now looking him directly in the eye.
“You have to love the British,” he rejoined, now watching her intently.
“How so?”
“Prolific gardeners. A bit florid, I suppose, but c’est la guerre.”
“Ah. So, you love the British?”
“I suppose we all have an affinity with our original homelands. I’m sorry, but the Drambuie isn’t to your liking?” he asked, noting that she had yet to pick up her glass.
“I don’t drink,” she said, her voice dull, flat, emotionless.
“Care to take a walk? I know, I know, it’s cool out, but…”
“So, you want to show me your etchings,” she replied, now smiling just so, almost provocatively.
“Would you like to come aboard?”
She stood and he stood quickly, reflexively. “Let’s take a walk,” she sighed.
They walked down the red brick promenade towards the water and she found it impossible take her eyes off his brightly lighted yacht. It had three levels – that she could see, anyway – and the light gray hull and gleaming white superstructure looked huge surrounded offset here by the blackness of night – almost looking like a ship suspended in the black ink of space.
“Amaranth…” she whispered. “Do you think yourself immortal, Spudz?”
“Me? Goodness, no. The sea, I think…the sea is immortal.”
“Where are you going now?” she asked, stopping and turning to look at him.
He shrugged, an indifferent, noncommittal shrug. “I’m not really sure yet.” He turned to face her, his eyes locking onto hers, and for a moment he felt like he was back on the Connie, on her bridge turning his ship into the wind. “So tell me. If you could pack up and go right now, and I mean go anywhere, where do you think you might you go?”
“Far away,” she whispered without the slightest hesitation. “As far away as I could get.”
He reached out and took her hand, his eyes now boring into hers. “Sara, what…are you running from?”
She gently shrugged away from the question but then, after hesitating on the icy precipice of her indecision, she leaned into him, wrapping her arms around his waist, the side of her face settling softly, almost naturally against his shoulder. “I don’t…I wish I knew,” she just managed to say – before a sudden tremor passed through the moment.
Almost caught off guard, MacKenzie leaned into her, held her fast against the opposing tides of doubt and destiny, unsure what all this meant but wanting to meet the measure of the moment, the measure of her need. “I guess I probably shouldn’t mention this again,” he whispered, “but would you like to come aboard, maybe take a look around? With me?”
“When are you leaving?” she asked.
“Is there anything here you need? Clothing? Medications?”
“No. Not really.” She leaned back a little, not wanting to let go of him – or the moment. “Is there anything I could do?”
“Onboard? No, not really, unless you wanted to cook.”
“You…need a cook?”
He smiled, then just sort of shrugged, and like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar he rolled his eyes. “Well, I reckon we could make do with bologna sandwiches for a while.”
“How many people are onboard?”
“Three guests, and I’ve got five people helping out. People who used to work with me.”
“Oh?”
“Co-workers that, well, they’re all the family I really have.”
“Is there room for me?”
“Yup. Your own stateroom, complete with head.”
“Do you think maybe I could stay with you for a while?”
His head canted quizzically just a bit and he felt a completely unexpected flush of excitement roll from his brow as he continued to hold her in his eyes. “Would you like that?” he asked after what felt like a lifetime had passed.
“I’ve been alone for a long time, Spudz. A really long time…”
He nodded, his eyes brimming with empathy. “So have I.”
“I’ve never really felt like I could trust anyone, you know? Not until I met you, anyway.”
His stomach lurched and knotted – and suddenly he felt like the lowest form of life there is – but he nodded and pulled her close. “I know, I know,” he whispered. “I’ve felt that way too,” he added, perhaps a little evasively.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, concern growing in her eyes as she heard – and felt – a darkening change come over him. 
“Sara, can’t you tell me what you’re running from? I’d really like to…no, that’s not quite right…I need to know…”
She pushed away gently, looked into his eyes – searching for the truth of the moment: “I haven’t broken any…no one’s after me…”
“No one?” he asked, his eyes cold and hard.
She looked away, then shrugged.
“Are you in any danger? Sara? Please, no evasions. I have to know.”
“I don’t know,” she sighed, suddenly tired of this life all over again. That was why she had run away the first time, and every time since. Only now she felt like she was running out of time. Like her life was running on empty and now, suddenly, there was nowhere to run or no one to turn to – if only to make the noise all stop.
She needed more signal. Not all this noise.
But then a voice called out – from within the darkness of Amaranth. 
“Admiral, it’s 22:30. Slack water in ten.”
MacKenzie turned to the boat and nodded, then he faced Sara. “The choice is yours, Sara. I’d love to have you with us on this trip…”
“You never answered my question. Could I stay with you?”
His acquiescence remained unspoken; instead he simply kissed her forehead and took her hand. “Let’s go,” he said, finally, though he waited for her to make the first step towards the little ship.
She looked at the Amaranth then gave his hand a gentle squeeze as she started down the bricks to the water’s edge.
+++++
Two hundred and thirty miles overhead cameras, within an NRO orbital surveillance satellite in synchronous orbit, cameras tracked her every move, and had been doing so for weeks. Still, the men and women watching the live feed from the satellites’ cameras were waiting for one of the small blue spheres to arrive. That was, after all, the Main Event; Sara Caldwell was simply an afterthought, the means to an end.

The puzzle was right in front of them, yet not one had bothered to try and understand just one simple fact. Why her? What did the spheres want with Sara Caldwell…?


© 2024 adrian leverkühn | abw | adrianleverkuhnwrites. com | this is fiction, plain and simple.

For a little more music, try Steven Wilson’s Harmony Codex (the track, not the album). Adios.

Her Secret Book of Dreams, Chapter 5

A diverging chapter, maybe enough for a cup of tea.

[Paul \\ Every Night]

Chapter 5

The storm seemed, if anything, to be growing even stronger now. The world beyond the confines of the train seemed to have disappeared behind layers of driving white snow that streaked by on the other side of the glass, but suddenly Rebecca sensed that the train was moving along more slowly than before.

Sam was asleep again, his head on her lap, and she couldn’t help but rub his temples. His body seemed to relax when she did, like his body seemed to completely fall away into her enveloping touch, and she found she enjoyed giving him such a gentle respite from his pain. He hadn’t been able to hold anything down, but at least the Zofran was controlling his nausea – and the fentanyl patch was helping him rest a little.

The lumbering car moved over a switch and lurched to the right and he stirred, then opened his eyes a little. She looked down at him and smiled when he caught her eye, and then a little boy’s smile crossed his face. Innocent, not a care in the world.

The she saw a tremor of pain crease his brow and his eyes shifted.

“Have I been down long?” he asked.

“Maybe an hour. Are you feeling any better?”

He sat up gingerly and immediately closed his eyes as waves of vertiginous nausea came for him, then he took a deep breath and held on for a moment, waiting for it to pass. “Light headed,” he sighed as he tried to come to terms with this latest development. “What the devil is going on?”

“The Zofran. It’s not a common side effect, but it happens. Take it a few more times and your blood pressure ought to stabilize.”

“I’m having the weirdest dreams. Really lucid, like wide screen technicolor epics…”

“That’s the Fentanyl.”

“Damn, I think I like that stuff. Great ideas for new music in there,” he said, suddenly grinning at the thought. “But I guess a lot of music has been written ‘under the influence.’”

“You think that still goes on? I thought that was kind of a sixties thing…”

He chuckled at that little slice of naïveté. “I think you almost have to be under the influence of something to write good music, but…I don’t necessarily mean booze or drugs…”

“Oh, what do you mean…?”

“Well, writing anything is on one level a reflection of the moment, and all our moments are under the influence of…something. Things like love or anger…or despair…” His eyes drifted as he said that last word, and she saw another change come over him.

“Is that what you feel right now? Despair?”

He closed his eyes, drifted into her question and tried to feel his way to an answer. “I guess I do, yes. Maybe a lot, but it comes and goes. Not so much since last night.”

“Oh? Why’s that?”

“I think running into you changed something. Something about the direction of…or maybe…”

“Maybe…what?”

“I’m not sure…I can’t quite put my finger on it, but something feels different…”

“Could you, I don’t know, maybe put these feelings into a song?”

“I don’t know,” Sam replied, his voice now little more than a coarse whisper as he turned and watched the streaking snow.

“I think maybe you need to, Sam. To me…it feels like you’re holding onto your feelings, not letting them go.”

He nodded in understanding, but then he shrugged, and she saw an ambivalent toss of his shoulders and wondered where that had come from. “Maybe some feelings are better left alone,” he sighed.

“Not if holding them in makes you sick.” 

“Do you really think that’s possible?”

She gently shook her head. “Are you kidding? Sam, stress will wear anything down, and it affects people in all kinds of unexpected ways. Stupid things like skin problems when you’re a teenager, but heart attacks and stroke when you get to be our age.”

“One of my oncologists told me that stress can impact survival rates.”

Rebecca nodded.

“So,” he continued, “what stresses you out?”

The question hit her hard – because suddenly she couldn’t recall ever experiencing stress, and she knew that wasn’t possible.

“Well?” he added, now prodding her, wanting to reassert some kind of control over his dwindling reserves of emotion.

“You know…I can’t remember feeling…anything…”

“What? You can’t remember…?”

“No, Sam, that’s not what I’m saying. I can’t remember anything. Anything at all.”

He looked at her again, scowling as he watched waves of sudden fear cloud her eyes. “You alright? You look kind of pale…”

“Images. Sam, it feels like I’m seeing images flash by. Images – like memories – only I don’t think they’re – my memories…”

“What?”

“Like old eight millimeter film clips, the colors are all faded and I can see splotchy flashes of light…”

As he watched the snow he also took in her reflection in the glass, and she seemed to fade away.

+++++

She went to the record player and gently laid her ancient copy of West Side Wind onto the turntable, then hit the ‘play’ lever to start the mechanical ballet that seemed hidden within, waiting to be called into action; she watched the platter spin-up to speed, then the tone arm as it lifted from it’s cradle and then swung out over the platter, settling over the opening track on side one before floating down to the shiny black surface of the pressed vinyl recording…

“Do you remember when he wrote this one? You were still so little…” Rebecca asked Tracy. She held out her arms as his daughter came back to her side, and Rebecca closed her eyes as his music came for her once again.

And as Tracy held onto her mother, she too closed her eyes and waited…

And then, as her father’s voice filled the room once again, there he was. Soft, flickering images from the camera in her mind, her father sitting on the stone hearth by the fireplace, gently cradling the old Martin guitar that had never been far from his side, his strong fingers finding their way to the perfect chord. She felt his love coursing through his fingers before his words took shape and began streaming through the air to her soul, and once again she felt the eternal connection he had created for her. For them. 

She felt her mother beginning to sway as his words caressed the air around them, and Tracy couldn’t help but move with the sudden reunion, and she felt like she and her mother were as waves of wheat bending to a wind that had just passed over the fertile prairies of his music.

Her memory was completely alive now, and in her mind’s eye her father was sitting across from her – his music playing in her mind’s eye as he watched. He had by then been fighting his cancer for almost two years, and she remembered wondering about that. She’d been too young to really understand, yet even so his pain had shown on his brow, even now – in her recollections of him.  He had lost all his hair, even his eyebrows, and though he had always been quite thin, as he sat there in the stereopticon’s flickering light he radiated an emaciated sickness – yet his voice was, and would always be sonorously clear. His voice…as imprinted within the vinyl grooves of remembrance…would always be pure to her.

Her mother was trembling now, Tracy knew her own tears would come soon enough. They always did, and she resented her weakness. She wanted smiles to come when she listened to her father’s music, not sadness, not the memory of him slipping away into the warm embrace of Morpheus. Most of all, she wanted to be strong for her mother.

When the last song on the first side played, a quiet piece of lights and trees that spoke to their last Christmas together, she gently pulled away from her mother and walked to the fireplace – and sat where he had. She felt the solid stone underneath give way to the moment, her fingers searching for communion within the rock, her face upturned, her eyes closed as she searched for him, and she watched again as he opened his present on their last Christmas morning together.

His smile. Always that smile.

That’s what she remembered most of all – that smile when he opened the beribboned box and watched in utter amazement as a puppy, a fuzzy-black Bernese Mountain Dog puppy, bounded out of the box and into his arms. He’d always wanted one and there he was in her flickering memory, all smiles with his arms around the pup, and right then and there he’d promptly named the little critter Max.

Then she remembered that afternoon a year later, holding onto Max as she watched her father slip away from the light, then burying her face in the pup’s neck, feeling his soft tongue chipping away at her denial, and she’d wondered then as she wondered now if she’d ever really be able to feel anything ever again.

© 2024 adrian leverkühn | abw | fiction, every last word of it…

[Randy Newman \\ Red Bandana]

Gnews \\ April 24

Gnews \\ Inflection Points

It’s been a while since I openly got on my soapbox about the various things going on around us these days, but there’s just so much of interest happening right now…well…I hope you’ll indulge this little diversion.

First, a few words about life here at Chaos Manor.  Mention has been made concerning Erica’s health and the amount of time I’ve not been writing as a result. That’s just a function of age, I think, but she’s ten years younger than myself and I had hoped that this differential would work out for both of us. Such has not been the case. She’s had a handful of surgeries this year, but a new heart condition now means that more surgery is problematic – so we are walking on eggshells here.

Last August, I palpated a small tumor on my beloved Heidi’s neck. Springers typically live ten to twelve years and she was ten at the time, so these things aren’t completely unexpected or out of the blue, yet even so this development hit me hard. Perhaps the anxiety I’d felt concerning Erica contributed to all my angst, but regardless, we took Heidi to see various doctors and surgeons and soon we had to come to terms with her cancer.

Heidi and I met in Oregon when my oldest sister was dying; in a sense she became my therapy dog. As my sister slipped away I held onto Heidi with a ferocity I’d never known, yet she absorbed my pain and gave me an endless supply of love in return. She was with me when I moved from Awaken, my boat, to Colorado, and still with me when we moved to Wisconsin. Not to make too much of it, but in ten years she never left my side. When I had to drive into Steamboat Springs on an errand she was by my side, and when I pulled out my trusty Honda snowblower to clear the driveway…well, yeah, she walked right along beside me. When our day was done she’d hop up on the bed and nestle into my neck and we’d fall asleep listening to each other breathe. In a word, we were close.

When the day finally came, we took Heidi to the vet and she knew what was coming. She hopped up on my lap and buried her face in my neck while the doctor did his thing and I held her as she passed. The last thing she heard was me telling her to check out the trail ahead, and that I’d be along in a little bit. I could not let go of her. I still haven’t been able to…not completely. And I doubt I ever will.

Heidi taught me about souls, and all about unconditional love. And though I miss her terribly I have two of her children, and one of her granddaughters, by my side. Suzy, her daughter, understands what has happened, and she is with me now, by my side.

[Andrew Weathers \\ High Tide on the Land Ocean]

So. Inflection points can be quite personal. Still, there is so much going on right now that is not, and yet so much appears to be unreconciled chaos, but then again…

Let’s look at a couple, okay?

Point 1: Kriegstüchtig

The Gnews from Ukraine depresses, unless your day job takes you inside the Kremlin, or to an office deep inside No. 2 Dzerzhinsky Square. If such is the case, well…good for you. Funneling all that money into operations buying off Republican Party operatives on The Hill is finally paying off (just ask Lev Parnas). Felix would be so proud. Really, he would. You pulled it off. Political polarization is now endemic in Washington, thanks to you – and your efforts via the clan Murdoch.

The current iteration of the ongoing Russo-Ukraine War (which commenced when Russian commandos infiltrated Kiev on 2/22/22, for those into numerology) had for a time appeared to be headed for a stalemate, but thanks to said operatives in Washington and its poisoned environs, as well as the concerted efforts of El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, Prince Vlad appears to be having his Neville Chamberlain moment – leaving Ronald Reagan to spin ever so slightly in his grave. 

Echoing recent comments by leaders of the three eastern Baltic states in NATO (those would be Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania, for those not keeping up with the score), the German defense minister Boris Pistorius said last weekend that Herr Putin would not stop when he is finished with Ukraine. He stated (and quite plainly – for a politician, anyway) that the people of Germany would need to become kriegstüchtig, which translates in the current context as “fit for war,” adding that Germans needed to decide – and rather quickly, too – “whether we want to prepare ourselves for the real threat from Putin or whether we want to make it easy for him”. Pistorius invoked Churchill, and if you can’t find the irony in that…well…heaven help us.

And now, into this caldron of uncertainty, enter, stage right: El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago. Despite his absence from Washington, The Orange One has decided that American foreign policy would best be dictated from south Florida. Ukraine’s lifeline, vis-a-vis the Congress of the United States, has been dutifully severed by Herr Putin’s rightfully purchased politicians. With aid to Ukraine, as well as Israel and Taiwan, all now tied up indefinitely by El Caudillo, all Herr Putin needs to do is sit and wait for the next shoe to drop. 

So shoe…you ready to drop yet?

[Hayden Pedigo \\ The Happiest Times I ever Ignored]

Point 2: Die Täuschung

Putin’s problem has been simple, at least so far. After festivities commenced on 2/22, neither China nor Iran were ready to commit to the next phase of Vlad’s operation, so he had to entice them a bit…reel them in slowly. First, he had to let Xi help him build up his military industrial complex (ahem, he had to sell his oil somewhere, didn’t he?), letting China become a little more dependent on Russia. And a desperate Iran needed an export market for its military drones (to raise needed capital), though their drones were clearly inferior to models made by Turkey and South Korea, and they were cheaper, too, so the Ayatollahs got onboard with Putin, made their deal with the devil they knew and started shipping their products north across the Black Sea. In exchange, the Ayatollahs agreed to stir up the hornet’s nests in Syria and Yemen. 

Why? To annoy the Big Bad Wolf, as Biden is known around Dzerzhinsky Square.

So Iran got Hamas involved, and the Israelis got their October Surprise. Then Putin and the Ayatollahs sprinkled in a dash of Hezbollah to go along with some spicy disinformation aimed at gullible students in New York, Massachusetts and California, and all of a sudden the Big Bad Wolf was all wrapped up in “domestic political considerations” – because, after all, there’s an election looming. But then, to Putin’s surprise and utter joy, the Israelis went after civilians in Gaza with completely unexpected savagery, so much so that further disinformation in the United States was proving unnecessary. Now all Vlad had to do was get Iran to stir up some new trouble in Yemen and just like that, two aircraft carrier battle groups that had been lending their air wings to operations around Ukraine disappeared, heading south to the eastern Med. Then Netanyahu & Co bombed the Iranian consulate in Damascus and quicker than you can say casus belli the Israelis handed Putin the gift he had hoped for – and suddenly the Iranians were ready to commit to their part of the grand bargain.

[Ulrich Schnauss \\ A Forgotten Birthday]

Point 3: Das große Schnäppchen

The operational tempo on an aircraft carrier under such conditions is, to say the least, exhausting on both personnel and equipment. Six month deployments under these conditions are debilitating. Steam catapults, like those found on all US carriers except the Ford (CVN-78), are especially needy (and, FYI, the next Ford class ship, the JFK [CVN-79], won’t be commissioned until 2025, with the Enterprise [CVN-80] due in 2029); ships on patrol need to return to Norfolk after extended periods of intense activity – or things start to break.

Which brings us to WESTPAC, or the Western Pacific TOE (theatre of operations).

Where all of a sudden it looks like Xi is ready to put some real pressure on the Philippines. The Fat Boy in North Korea is up to real mischief, too, with intel weenies in Ft Meade aghast at the revelation that Iran has been inquiring about the possibility of getting their hands on a nuclear warhead, and you have to wonder what Xi thinks of this. “Is Putin moving too fast?” he might wonder.

The second world war in the Pacific was a carrier war, and Japan knew this better than everyone else (aside from FDR, anyway), which explains why the Japanese are busily building a new carrier, their first since the debacle at Midway in 1942, and wouldn’t you know it…the Fat Boy is getting ready to resume nuclear testing…

This is where the frog in warming water starts to squirm.

So China is making noise in the Southwest Pacific (requiring the attention of at least one US carrier) while the Fat Boy is freaking out everyone in Japan and South Korea (requiring another US carrier to remain in the Northeast Pacific).

See a pattern here?

America’s carrier forces are being pulled away from…both the North Atlantic and the Baltic states of Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania, and this is now A Very Bad Thing.

That Putin, Xi, the Ayatollahs and the Fat Boy are all coordinating these efforts is well known. What is not currently known is the timing of their planned festivities. Their known objective, to replace the American world order established in 1945 with one of their own design, ain’t exactly news, but most everyone in Ft Meade thinks the party will begin in 2030 or thereabouts.

But what if they’re wrong.

[PM \\ Junk]

Point 4

These inflection points converge somewhere in the future, but while that time is locked away somewhere inside Putin’s mind, there are more than a few things going on right now that lead to troubling conclusions.

The first of these will be upon us on the first Tuesday of November 2024. Putin’s last best chance of avoiding a large land war in Europe comes with the possible election of his bought and paid for agent, El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago. Putin must assume that if El Caudillo emerges victorious and resumes his employment in the oval office, the US will simply hand over the keys to the empire…and who knows…he may be correct in that assumption. The isolationist wing of the Republican Party fought FDR right up to Pearl Harbor, so this group has long history of short-sighted obstructionist behavior in congress to fall back on, but what if the isolationists have the White House? That would be the perfect storm Putin could be counting on.

But what if El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago loses in November?

Well, El Caudillo has stated that any election he loses is rigged, and he’s convinced about thirty percent of the people in this country that the system is rigged against them, which brings us to an even more interesting scenario. He wants a bloodbath this time.

And a movie was released last week, Alex Garland’s Civil War, an amusing bit of fiction that speaks quite openly about a subject most people in this country would, at this point, rather ignore, to wit: the idea that United We Stand (and divided we fall). If you’ve not seen the film, you should do so. It is loud and viscerally shocking, but the film asks a question we should all be willing to answer: Is this Union more important than one man’s ambition.

But back to the main point.

If the US were to fall into some kind of post-election chaos, and if the civilian chain of command was to be called into question, would that not be the perfect time for Putin and his axis of evil to make their move?

So, think about inflection points in those terms.

Vlad’s invasion of Ukraine has had the exact opposite effect of the thing he wanted most, disunity and chaos in NATO. And now European leaders are united in the common knowledge that there is b-b-big m-m-money to be m-m-made undertaking a crash rearmament program, and these European efforts could begin to bear fruit – in a few years. 

A few years? Europe united AND rearmed? 

“Dare I wait?” Putin asks the aging face in the mirror.

And why is it that Russia’s most advanced new weaponry, including the Armada tank, the Sukhoi-57, and all those new submarines have all been conspicuously absent from the present conflict. And why have the most well trained units of his army remained well away from the front lines of the battlefield? The war has provided some of his NCOs and low level commissioned officers a venue to gain valuable combat experience, but their value now is to return to the Urals and pass on that experience. 

Will they have had enough time by November?

But then an interesting thing happened late last week, and not in Israel or the Western Pacific.

No, it happened off the Swedish coast.

When a Russian Air Force Ilyushin Il-20M violated Swedish airspace. The aircraft is an ELINT variant of the old Il-18, redesigned to snoop out all kinds of electronic signals intelligence and, more importantly, to perform radar imaging and mapping of coastlines. The aircraft spent most of its time flying around Gotland, the Swedish island at a chokepoint in the Baltic that was once referred to as the largest aircraft carrier in the world. Also, those Russian submarines have been snooping around the area recently – which is curious, given that until recently they have been lurking around the undersea cables that connect the US to Europe.

So you need to ask yourself…Why now?

If you take Gotland in your opening move, then take the Suwałki Gap, you cut off the three Baltic states – and then you force NATO’s hand. Is Article 5 invoked? Does the third world war commence? Or is everyone too afraid to take that chance. If so…Putin wins.

So here we are, with more and more inflection points plotting all kinds of new curves. Connecting the dots, points on a graph that seem to be leading to – what exactly? These points can lead in several directions all at the same time, but in the end we’re watching an orchestrated performance, the last act of the Soviet Union, because nothing much has changed since Reagan called the Russian culture out as The Evil Empire (and George Kennan told us so, too). But here’s the real question. If El Caudillo is indeed a true Putin ally, is he not evil? But how could this man take the throne again without Putin’s and Murdoch’s machinations. What the hell is going on?

And here’s some more irony: if Russia and China still feel like they need to run the world, why do they still blame the United States for all the flaws in their economic systems. Are those faults really of our design? And if Iran hates the US because of our support for Israel, surely they understand that we still hate them for 1979 (and yes, I know, they still hate us for 1953). And let us not forget…the poor Fat Boy hates the US because, presumably, we never franchised Weight Watchers over there.

I doubt Karl Marx would like anyone in this rogue’s gallery, but there you have it – they are what we have and there are no deals to be made with our fate. Personally, I still sort of like Joe Biden. He’s a decent man, and he looks you in the eye when he shakes your hand, but there is a very real possibility that he really could be too old to handle what’s coming his way, and let’s not forget: he’s an Old School Democrat like Dukakis and Mondale, which means he may be in way over his head. Still, I doubt he’d hand over the keys to the kingdom, which is exactly what El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago has been told to do. Bought and paid for, you might say.

Me? Frankly, I’d rather James Stavridis was somewhere in the White House, but that’s just me. I think Mr Putin would think twice if Stavridis was standing watch, but that is not to be.

But, be that as it may…as you go about your day think about these inflection points, and where they might be taking us, the few I’ve pointed out here, and the ones sure to come between now and November. There’s so much going on and it all really is quite interesting…in a way like watching moves on a giant chessboard. I doubt there’s much anyone can do to affect the outcome at this point in the game, so you might as well just sit back and enjoy the next move. 

In Conclusion

I still hope to keep on writing. It keeps me busy, keeps my mind working and there are too many loose ends in these stories that need to be tied up.

But I’m reading more. Check out Punk’s War by Ward Carrol, and Nuclear War by Annie Jacobsen. I waded through Rural White Rage by Schaller and Waldman so you wouldn’t have to, and you probably shouldn’t either, unless your blood pressure is under good control. Admiral Stavridis published 2034 a few years ago (imagine a naval war between the US and China, then India gets the last word) and it’s worth a read, and he recently put out 2054 (not read yet) which deals with AI and warfare.

If you’ve not watched The Three Body Problem on Netflix I think you might find it worthwhile (I’m starting the books now). Also on Netflix, Leave the World Behind ought to provoke a little existential dread (especially considering the Obamas produced it), or try Don’t Look Up for a laugh. The Adam Project is great to watch with any teens in your life, and gain, I think the new Civil War film is worth taking in.

That’s about all I’ve got for now. It’s funny, but little Suzy gets up on the bed at night and she lays with me for a while, but every now and then her head pops up and she looks around and I think she’s a little confused. I know she’s looking for her mother, for my Heidi, and I know she’s still waiting for her to come back to us. I keep Heidi’s ball handy, so the next time I see her I’ll be ready.

[Dominic Miller \\ Urban Waltz]

Her Secret Book of Dreams, Chapter 4

While you prepare your cup of tea think of a forest, a cool rain forest at twilight. You’re walking on an ancient trail that winds through and between thick ferns, the air is full of the scent of wild orchids. There are no sounds save for your breathing and the wind passing through the impossibly tall redwoods that tower overhead…

Are you alone?

Is it possible to ever really be alone?

[Blind Faith \\ Can’t Find My Way Home]

Chapter 4

“Why, Mom? Why’d you do it?” Tracy asked her mother as they walked home after school.

“Mr. Murphy thought it would be a good idea. So did I – at the time.”

“So after all these years not telling anyone, now everyone knows he was my dad?”

Rebecca nodded as she walked into the house, then she walked straight into the living room and up to the huge window that looked out over the water. The afternoon fog she’d felt building was now rolling in and she held onto herself, warding off the coming chill. “Maybe we should get a few logs. This feels like a good night for a fire.”

“You’re changing the subject again, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know what to say, Tracy,” Rebecca sighed. She remembered an afternoon just like this one, only with Sam standing next to her as they’d watched another thick fog rolling in. She closed her eyes, could almost feel him standing by her side, feel his heart beating next to hers. They’d known each other only a few weeks but already she was sure he was the one.

“It’s getting cold out,” she remembered him saying. “Don’t you need a sweater?”

“Let’s put on a fire. My dad’ll be home soon and it’ll be nice to have a fire going.”

They’d gathered armfuls of split logs and Sam had stood back and watched as she got the fire going, then they’d sat and waited for her father to come home from work.

And they’d waited. And waited.

Until the assistant station master called and told Rebecca that her father had been taken to Tacoma General Hospital. It wasn’t all that far away but Sam drove her anyway, and when they arrived at the emergency room they learned her father had been rushed straight to surgery.

Yet no one there could tell her what had happened.

So she and Sam had sat and waited.

“What are you thinking about, Mom?” Tracy asked.

“Another foggy evening. A long time ago.”

“You look lost, Mom. Is everything okay?”

“I feel lost, Tracy. Lost inside an echo, like I’m caught inside a hall of mirrors.”

“Mom?”

“Hm-m? What?”

“You want me to cook dinner tonight?” her daughter asked.

She smiled at the echo, remembered Sam saying almost exactly the same thing when they’d finally returned from the hospital. The fire in the fireplace had grown cold, so cold that not even embers remained, and she’d felt so hollowed out by the pain of her father’s passing that the clinging fog outside had felt ambivalent. Without saying a word Sam had rebuilt the fire then disappeared inside the kitchen and made their dinner. He held her through the remains of the night and didn’t let go during the many gales that followed.

In the aftermath of it all, Sam’s oldest and best friend, Dave Mason, had driven up from Santa Barbara to lend a hand. There’d been the inevitable lawyers and the hospital bills and all the other paperwork Rebecca needed to sort through, and yet all those things had seemed to dull the reality of her father’s passing – at least for a while. But Dave had always been good at such things and as spring turned to summer the three had grown inseparable. They drove up to Paradise and walked the trails on Mount Rainier’s sun facing flanks, camped under the stars as the west wind carried them deeper into the night, and one weekend the three ventured north to Port Townsend and went sailing on a friend’s boat.

Then the boys – as she’d taken to calling them by then – did what they’d done since high school: they pulled out their guitars and their notebooks and they began writing songs. Rebecca sat and listened as their efforts took on a life all their own, and she knew those star-kissed nights and days on the sound had become a part of the tapestry her boys had created with her. 

She was majoring in English. She understood poetry – and it was over that magic summer that she realized Sam was something of a genius. A quiet Shakespeare kind of genius. He pulled words from the sky the way magicians conjured rabbits from hats, words that spoke to the soul, phrasing that seemed rooted in a deep understanding of life. And she was smart enough to keep her distance during these marathon writing sessions, contenting herself to sit bare-footed on the sofa and listen as the boys’ imaginations took on the shapes and forms of their summer together.

They made a demo reel and set off to downtown Seattle in search of someone who might listen to their work and perhaps lend a helping hand. They talked to other struggling musicians working the coffee houses, managed to get a radio disc jockey to listen once, but it wasn’t enough. They weren’t ready yet. Dave was shattered and limped back to Santa Barbara and as autumn approached Sam and Rebecca drove down to Portland to start their last year of college…

…yet something had changed…

…though Rebecca felt that change soon enough. Morning sickness and missed periods, followed by a trip to student health services, and she learned that motherhood beckoned. Sam smiled the smile of the terror-stricken, told Dave he could see his whole life unspooling in the dark like a cheap Saturday matinee and then someone told him that health services could point the way to an abortion – but the word hit him like a hammer blow, left him breathless and inexplicably sad. Rebecca had never once mentioned the word before and so he knew she wanted the child too, and there was never anything else said about the matter. They were going to have a baby; it was as simple as that.

They graduated from college and Sam moved into Rebecca’s father’s house on North 11th Street in Tacoma, Washington. Dave came up again to lend a hand; Sam and Dave painted the baby’s bedroom and then they pulled Rebecca’s old baby furniture up from the basement and she scrubbed all the old bits and pieces until they were squeaky-clean – and Dave watched as Sam slipped into the role of expectant father while not giving this change in life so much as one carefree thought. 

‘So, that’s what love does?’ Dave Mason asked himself as he watched the change overtake his friend.

And then, a few weeks later Tracy came into their lives.

Rebecca turned away from the window and the fog and looked at her daughter. Sam had been gone for years, and Dave too, so Tracy was all that remained of that impossible love, of that unlikeliest communion. “I guess I thought our past might get in the way of the future, but Tracy, don’t take that secrecy to mean that I didn’t cherish every minute I had with your father. I think I wanted…didn’t want all of the confusion I felt…”

“Mom? Please don’t cry…”

Rebecca looked at her daughter, at Sam’s daughter, and she still recognized his eyes in Tracy’s. “It’s not easy, Tracy. Even now.”

“I remember him, you know? Every now and then I catch a flash of memory and I can see him again – just for a moment. Almost like I captured him inside one of those…a stereopticon, I think…and he’s with me again. It’s weird, Mom, because I can feel him. Like he’s really with me, even though I know that can’t really be true…”

“Are you sure about that?”

“What?”

“Are you sure he’s not still with you, maybe on some level you couldn’t possibly understand?”

“Mom? What are you saying?”

“I’m not saying anything, Tracy. I’m asking you a question. Can you really be so sure?”

© 2024 adrian leverkühn | abw | fiction, every last word of it…

[Sting \\ Down Down Down]

Her Secret Book of Dreams, Chapter 3

Life is getting very complicated here at Chaos Manor…let’s just say Erica has not been well and leave it at that. Finding time to write has been quite difficult; hopefully with the coming of spring things will get better.

[10cc \\ I’m Not In Love]

Chapter Three 

She shook away remnants of the dream, felt the side of the stranger’s face on top of her thighs and he came back to her in a disconcerting rush of truth. 

Stillwell…Sam Stillwell…I met him at dinner last night…we had drinks in the lounge car then came back to the room to talk…

But here he is – in the here and now. Dying. Running from death. In search of a way to get away from the…from the what? The inevitable? But why doesn’t he seem frightened…?

She ran her fingers through the bare remains of his hair and he stirred – then he too seemed to recall where he was and as suddenly sat bolt upright.

“Damn,” he sighed as he stifled a yawn, “I’m so sorry…didn’t mean to fall off like that…”

“Don’t be sorry. I was enjoying the moment.”

“The moment? Rubbing patchy chemo-hair?”

“Feeling you let go. It felt like maybe it’s been a while?”

He shrugged and looked out the window. “This storm isn’t letting up any, is it?”

“They can get bad this time of year,” she said, smiling.

“My mouth tastes awful,” he said as he stood, looking around the compartment self-consciously. “What time is it, anyway?”

“A little after five,” she answered, now a little hurt by his sudden evasiveness. 

“How long was I out?”

“I think about six hours. How’s the pain?”

He looked at her now – the first time since he’d awakened – and shook his head. “Just fine – as long as I ignore the fire in my back.”

And with that new snippet of information she now knew that his dissection had involved a kidney, or perhaps the aorta, so his had been a post-chemo RPLND – and she tried to push that knowledge to the back of her mind as she watched another grimace take shape on his face. “Sit down,” she said gently. “I’ll get another patch ready.” And to her surprise he did, and without any protestations at all. He didn’t ask for privacy – he simply demurred then sat and offered his right side, but to her his capitulation almost felt like a show of defeat. 

She removed the old patch and cleaned the area before she applied the new one, and he nodded his thanks as she pulled his shirt down. “How’s your appetite?” she asked.

“You mentioned French toast?”

“It’s good, at least if you go in for that sort of thing.”

He grumbled something unintelligible then excused himself and went into the bathroom, and she suddenly realized how intrusive her presence must have felt to him, and she felt a little ashamed of herself.

“Maybe I’ll see you there,” she called out as she made to leave, and she heard a muffled “Okay” come from the small bathroom. She let herself out then walked down to her compartment and slipped inside, then stood there in mute disbelief at what had just happened. A part of her felt like a giddy teenager, maybe one who’d just met her favorite rock star, while another, deeper part of her mind reeled at the professional risks she’d just taken. He wasn’t her patient, and even doing something as simple as changing out his fentanyl patches carried ethical and professional obligations and responsibilities that most people couldn’t relate to or simply did not understand. Shaken by this lapse, she decided to shower, to wash away the remains of the night before she went back to the dining car.

The sun was just barely making a showing as she walked into the dining car a little after six, and not unexpectedly she wasn’t the first person there. Train buffs usually took the Empire Builder because of the spectacular crossing through Glacier National Park, though in winter the westbound train usually traversed the park under cover of darkness. Still, that didn’t keep the diehard ‘rail-fans’ from filling up the train almost all year round, and everyone ‘in the know’ was dialed in to the French toast whipped up in the dining car, so an early crowd was virtually guaranteed.

And just like the night before the steward escorted her to a table, and a few minutes later an elderly couple from back east joined her – Pat and Patricia Patterson, from Roanoke, Virginia. Pat was of course wearing a well-worn Burlington Route baseball cap and Rebecca knew the type: Pat would have a huge model railroad layout in his basement and bookshelves loaded with books on all kinds of old passenger trains – and while he’d love nothing more than to talk about this or that route for hours on end, Rebecca just wasn’t in the mood this morning.

She remembered notes she needed to finish working through. She had pre-op consults to prepare for, too – not to mention office hours come Monday afternoon…

…but suddenly she realized the train wasn’t moving along at its usual 79 miles per hour…

…and then she saw that wet, sticky snow was building up on the dining car’s windows. Indeed, it was impossible to see anything beyond the glass, yet with the abysmal sunlight filtering through dense clouds there was little to see beyond the hazy white veil that was now, apparently, covering everything.

Yet the train was still moving. She could feel the swaying motion, hear the distant clickety-clack of steel wheels over joints in the iron rail, and Pat seemed to have been reading her mind…

“We’re poking along about 45 miles per,” he said, consulting an app on his smart-phone. “My guess is they gotta plow up front. Minneapolis already had two feet of snow from this storm when we went through there last night, and I think it’s snowing harder now.”

“Do you know where we are now?” she asked.

Pat shrugged. “Fargo is the next stop, but we’re already two hours behind…”

“Have you heard a weather forecast?” Rebecca added.

“At least another two days of this stuff. An Alberta Clipper is pushing an arctic air mass down and it’s colliding with that atmospheric river that just slammed San Francisco and Oakland. The Weather Channel says this will be a historic snow event from the Rockies through the upper mid-west.”

Their waiter came by and poured coffee and took their orders – French toast times three – then Rebecca turned to the window again, instinctively reaching out to brush the snow away before remembering it was on the outside. “So, you’re a Burlington fan?” she asked.

“Yessiree! My old man worked in the Chicago office all his life.”

Rebecca smiled. “My father worked for the Northern Pacific, out of Tacoma.”

“That’s a beautiful building, one of the last great ones. But ya know what? I’ve never figured out why we’ve always been in such a hurry to tear down those places…”

Rebecca nodded. “Chicago sure had a bunch of them. I would have loved to have seen Chicago back around 1900.”

“Isn’t that the truth! Dearborn Station…the original!” Pat said, but just then Rebecca noticed that Patricia simply nodded from time to time but otherwise stared ahead vacantly, enough so that she was beginning to suspect the woman had Alzheimer’s, or perhaps dementia. And Pat noticed too…that Rebecca had caught on, and he sighed as he acknowledged the obvious. “Yes,” he said quietly – almost in defeat, “she got Alzheimer’s. But you see, she wanted to take one last trip together.”

Rebecca nodded. “It’s difficult to be the primary caregiver,” she sighed. 

He shrugged. “It’s difficult to watch someone you’ve known for almost fifty years as they disappear right in front of you. You can read about it all you want about it, but the reality of it…well, it is the saddest thing I’ve ever experienced.”

There was a blast of icy cold air and then the surly old conductor walked into the dining car and sort of like an old crustacean he skittered from table to table, explaining that the train was now three hours behind schedule and that the route through Glacier National Park “might not be clear this evening,” and that he’d “keep everyone informed” as he learned more.

“What happens if they close the route through the mountains?” Pat asked the red faced old man.

“Depends where we are, I reckon. Between Minot and Whitefish…well, not too many options out there. Maybe stop in Havre or Shelby; we could bus you down to Great Falls and try to get you out on airplanes, but it depends on how much snow there is and how long it’ll take the crews to plow it out.”

Rebecca felt a chill of apprehension run up her spine as she recognized the evasive tenor of the conductor’s remarks. “And what happens if we get stuck out here, like maybe in the middle of nowhere?”

“We wait for the plows to reach us, Ma’am.”

“Is there enough food on board if that happens,” Pat asked.

The old conductor smiled a little as he nodded with knowing self-assurance. “We laid on extra in St Paul, and there should be plenty of French toast, too. Should be no worries at all, sir.” The old man skittered away after that, talking to the rest of the passengers in the dining car, reassuring all the ‘Nervous Nellies’ huddled around their tables with expectant, upturned eyes.

“If they laid on more food,” Pat said, his eyes now full of concern for his wife, “I bet they think it’s more than just a merely possible.”

“Maybe so,” Rebecca said – as she suddenly started thinking of Sam Stillwell, “but it seems a reasonable precaution to take almost any time of year.”

Their meals came and they ate in silence, Pat doing his best to feed his wife – and doing rather well, too. Rebecca looked out the window from time to time and shook her head in disbelief – as she’d never seen heavier, wetter snow in her life – and at one point she even thought the snow looked like that hideous Christmas tree flocking they sprayed on trees, if only because this snow seemed to be sticking to everything. Still, about ten minutes later the glow of more businesses appeared through the snowy mist, and when they passed a clanging railroad crossing signal they could tell the train was stopping at the next station. Rebecca looked out the window and could just make out a bundled-up man pushing a snowblower along the platform below the dining car, clearing the way for passengers waiting in the station.

Then quite suddenly she felt concern for Stillwell.

So when the steward came by she signed her chit and left another generous tip, then took advantage of the stopped train’s lack of motion to walk back to her sleeping car – but she just couldn’t help herself as she walked by Sam’s compartment. She knocked on the door and thought she heard a commotion inside; she knocked again and heard him call out ‘Help!’ 

When she tried to open the door she felt his body blocking her way and now knew he was down on the floor.

“Sam? Can you roll over? You’re blocking the door…”

She heard him moan and then felt the door give way a little; she squeezed into the little compartment and then helped him stand up next the sofa – and she smelled it then. He’d soiled himself, and now he really needed a shower – but then it hit her…what he really needed was to be back in the hospital. Locked up in this compartment without a nurse to assist him was a recipe for…

But no. He had her, didn’t he. He needed to get to Palo Alto, and though he’d chosen not to fly she was more than capable of getting him to Seattle. One look out the window at the blowing snow and she knew there’d be no air travel out of Fargo for a while, perhaps days.

With that decided she helped him into the small bathroom compartment and started to undress him, but his hand blocked the way. “You don’t need to do this,” Sam sighed, clearly dejected as the sharp, pungent odor assaulted his senses.

“And you need to let me get to work right now. We’re stopped and this will be a lot easier if we get it knocked out fast.”

He started to unbutton his shirt while she got his pants and boxers down and into a garbage bag, then she got the shower running and once it was warm she washed off his soiled thighs. “Can you hold the shower head for a while?” she asked.

“Yes, I think so.”

“Okay. I’m going to get rid of these clothes. I think they’re done for.”

He nodded and she went off in search of the sleeping car attendant, who was out on the platform helping a passenger disembark. 

“I’ve got some soiled clothes,” Rebecca said to the girl. “Got some place I can dump them?”

“Sure. Right over there, by the other trash. What happened?”

“Oh, the guy up in A is not well. I was just lending a hand.”

“You a nurse?”

Rebecca shook her head. “No. Physician. We could use some extra towels in A.”

“You’re in E, right?”

Rebecca nodded then turned and went back up to Sam’s compartment. He was just holding onto the shower head and his head was leaning against the wall, the water running down to the drain in the floor, but he looked up and tried to smile when he saw her standing there.

“Nice to see you again,” he said through a wry grin. “What kept you?”

“How’s the water? Still warm?”

“Blissfully so, yes. Care to join me?”

She smiled and shook her head, then shut the bathroom door. The train jerked and slowly began pulling away from the station, and a second later the attendant knocked on the door and handed her a pile of towels. “Need anything else just let me know,” she said.

“Could you bring some French toast and scrambled eggs. I want to see if he can hold down some food.”

The girl nodded and disappeared, leaving Rebecca to towel him off, but he stood with his back to her, apparently ashamed of the huge, midline scar running from his sternum to his groin. After she finished his backside she turned him around and patted his wound dry, then tackled his unruly hair. “You need help getting dressed?” she asked.

“We’ll see, Mom,” came his sardonic reply.

His breakfast came and with the help of the attendant she set up the small table under the window and poured a bottle of water into a cup, then helped him walk out to the sofa.

“Food? Really?” he asked as he stared at the suspicious plate of toast and eggs on the table.

“I’d be happy if you could just get a little down. You had some pretty fierce diarrhea, so we’re going to get some water down, too.”

“Oh? We are?”

She smiled. “I’ve had mine already.”

“Ya know, that’s not exactly what I meant…”

“I know what you meant, Sam.” He looked at her and nodded before she helped him sit, then she sat across from him and sliced up some of the French toast. “Ready?”

“How ‘bout some water first?”

She helped him drink and – predictably – he pulled back from the table and leaned against the sofa. “Do you get sick every time you eat?” she asked.

He nodded. “Pretty much. I did okay on those protein shakes for a while, then even those turned on me.”

“Do you have any omeprazole? Maybe with some Zofran onboard you could hold food down for a while.”

He shrugged. “Tried that already. The basic problem, Doc, is accelerating mortality.”

She nodded. “I know. Now, let’s see if we can get one bite of French toast down.”

“Lots of syrup, please. My mouth feels like the Sahara.”

He ate a half slice of the toast before he gave up and leaned back again, but this time he leaned over and curled up in a fetal ball with his hands around his knees – and then he closed his eyes.

She pulled a fresh blanket down from the storage bin and gently covered him, then she sat down beside him. The deep empathy she felt in that moment wasn’t all that unusual, but for some reason the feeling she experienced now seemed much more personal.

But when she sat beside him again that seemed to be the signal he’d been waiting for: he leaned over until the side of his face rested on her lap again – and then he promptly fell fast asleep.

And once again she ran the sides of her thumbs in little circles on his temple until she felt the inherent tension of his dis-ease fall away, and she found herself wanting more than anything else in the world to make his suffering go away. 

And for some reason she heard the mournful, soul caressing notes of West Side Wind in her mind, and when she felt sleep coming for her she knew the dream wasn’t far away. She could feel it out there, lurking patiently in the shadowlands – like a wild beast stalking her in the blinding snow.

© 2024 adrian leverkühn | abw | fiction, every last word of it…

[Sting \\ A Thousand Years]

Her Secret Book of Dreams, Chapter 2

A brief chapter here, just a few pages as the seeds of an idea take shape.

[Famous Blue Cable (Nick Drake) \\ River Man]

Chapter Two

She woke with a start, the alarm clock’s grating bell jolting her out of deepest sleep. Still not fully awake as she swung her legs out of bed, she walked quietly to the bathroom even as wispy filaments of the dream lingered. She sat on the toilet then reached in, turned on the hot water and pulled up on the diverter valve, turning on the shower. Pulling off her long t-shirt, she stepped into the shower and turned around, backed up to the spray until it was beating down on her neck, and for a fleeting moment she felt the tension in her shoulders ebb away – as the last fragments of the insistent dream remained suspended in the mists clinging to her skin. She ran shampoo through her hair – twice, because it felt so good – then soaped down and rinsed off the important places before she let the hot water beat down on her neck again. She stepped out of the shower and dried her hair then slipped into the old terrycloth bathrobe that hung on the back of the bathroom door – still unable to shake free of the dream’s lingering remains.

The train. Always the train. And then there was Sam – he was always in her dream, always walking into the dining car as she sat watching him come back to her. Always in pain, always alone. Tall and lanky, yet somehow almost emaciated, just as he had been near the end. The unspoken truth that cancer was eating him alive remained between them. Just like her father’s cancer – when he too passed. Everything about the man in the dream reminded her of the man who had raised her, even the measured way he spoke. But not when he looked her, and definitely not when she looked at him. Everything felt so real in those moments, especially when he fell asleep with the side of his face resting on her lap – because she felt consumptive electric explosions in her mind when his skin rested on her. She had never wanted that moment to end. Never wanted to wake up, just so this last moment together would last and last. When the realization came that he was indeed dying, that he would soon be gone, the dream turned into a nightmare from which she could not escape – and even then the sudden irrational fear of his looming death haunted her as she dressed for the day.

She went to her daughter’s room and gently woke her, then went to the kitchen to put on coffee. With that out of the way she turned on the television and flipped over to a channel that talked about the weather – 24 hours a day – and she groaned at the prospect of more wind and rain. She put bacon on to cook in one skillet and scrambled eggs in another, then she toasted bread and got everything sorted on two plates. She set things out on the little table that looked out over Tacoma and Puget Sound. The table that had been meant for three.

It had been her father’s house, once upon a time. He’d left it to her among the other things that followed with his passing, and she knew she would leave it to her daughter someday. She had taken root in this place, just as he had once. Perhaps as her daughter would, but that remained to be seen. In another dream, perhaps.

Tracy came out of her room ready and dressed for school; she sat down and looked at the weather on the television then put bacon on toast and spooned some scrambled eggs on the bacon, making a sandwich that disappeared in a few quick bites.

“Finish your homework?” Rebecca North asked.

And Tracy nodded, coughed once then took a quick sip of orange juice, clearing her throat. “Yup. Can I ride home from school with Ken?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

This was met with crossed arms and a stoney, petulant stare.

“I’ll pick you up at the library, at four-thirty,” Rebecca added.

“You don’t like him, do you?”

“I don’t care for the way he drives.” This said with an easy smile.

Tracy shook her head. “You’re such a…a mom.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment, even if it wasn’t meant as such.”

“Why do you always have to talk like an English teacher?”

“Gee, I don’t know. Maybe because I am an English teacher?”

“Oh. Mom, why didn’t you take up physics, like your mother?”

“Would you rather I spoke to you like a physics teacher?”

“I’d rather you spoke to me like you belonged to Hell’s Angels.”

“Sorry. You’re fresh out of luck with that one, kiddo.”

“The story of my life.”

“Let’s get the dishes in the washer. I have…”

“…yes, I know, I know…you have a faculty meeting at seven-forty-five.”

They drove across town to Silas High and Rebecca parked in the faculty lot; Tracy came around for a hug before she darted off to meet up with friends before the first period bell, leaving her mom to her day.

They had stayed after school the day before, the two of them, decorating Rebecca’s classroom walls for a complex new assignment – one she was particularly excited about. Working with the school’s Social Studies department, she was going to introduce a new, multidisciplinary assignment to her senior AP English and Creative Writing students, an assignment that was planned to dovetail with both the senior level AP Postwar US History class and the junior level US History class, which was currently also focused on American history in the late 20th-century.

Breaking their combined classes into small groups, she and Mr Murphy, the social studies teacher she was partnering with, were going to look at music as a barometer of cultural change from the 1950s up to the millennium. To do so, each group of three to four students would be assigned a decade and then each group would try to determine the dominant cultural trends in their assigned decade; with that done each group would pick a musician or group and one song that – in the group’s opinion – best represented the trend they’d identified. 

But before these groups were cut loose to do their research, Mr Murphy had convinced Rebecca to provide an example to their combined class.

“Do the nineties, and Sam,” Ben Murphy pleaded. “There’s no better representative of the period,” he continued. And of course there was no need to add that Rebecca and Sam Stillwell had lived together for most of the 90s, or that Stillwell was Tracy’s father. “What could be better, ya know?”

So she had brought her copy of West Side Wind to school that morning, and she would play the eponymous title track for her students before she explained the origins of both the album and the song – and then how Sam’s music best encapsulated the decade. And somehow she had to get through it all without breaking apart and falling down into the black hole that always seemed to be waiting for her when she remembered those days. 

When the cancer first came for him he had been determined to fight. Surgery. Chemotherapy. Then the weeks and weeks of nausea, followed by radiation – yet he had fought his way to a brief remission, and West Side Wind had been born from that struggle. Dave Mason, his best and oldest friend, had come up from Santa Barbara for a visit, and the rest of the story had become something of a legend in the close knit community of musicians in and around Seattle.

How quickly the songs came together, how easily the words came. How vanishingly brief was that time.

And later that morning – as she stood before her AP class – she described watching Dave and Sam working together. She took her time explaining how West Side Wind was a series of recollections, but that the song itself was a more intimate exploration of growing up in the 70s and 80s, and about how people came together and fell away from each other. And how, in an almost offhand way, the people she and Sam had known began to fall away as his cancer returned.

She wasn’t aware she was crying when she told this part of the story to the class, and in truth very few people knew about her almost ten years with Sam Stillwell, but then one of her students raised her hand.

“Yes, Marsha? You have a question?”

“Uh, Miss North? Do you know you’re crying?”

And Rebecca had looked at Ben Murphy and shrugged, because she really didn’t know what to say. So Ben laid it all out there for her: “Marsha, Sam Stillwell and Miss North were, well, they were together for years.”

The news came as a shock to the class. Then another hand shot up. “Is Sam Stillwell Tracy’s father?” someone asked.

And Rebecca had simply nodded – before she smiled and excused herself, leaving Ben Murphy to lead the class after she walked quietly from the classroom.

© 2024 adrian leverkühn | abw | fiction, every last word of it…

[Yes || And You and I]